People who know they won’t live long fall into two extreme categories: those who are content with quietly meeting death, and those with a sense of resentment and the desire for revenge.
From her understanding of Hamish, Elisa believed he leaned more towards the second kind.
If a person desires revenge, they are willing to pay any price to satisfy their resentment. Even if it means enduring excruciating pain, they would willingly embrace death, finding the moment of death particularly exhilarating.
Elisa recalled some past events, unconsciously clenching her fists so tightly that her knuckles turned white, the pressure causing her fingertips to dig into the flesh of her palm without her noticing.
After a moment, Elisa released her grip. It was only then that she felt the pain, observing the nail marks in her palm.
Louis was admitted to the hospital. If she didn’t respond, his body might not hold up. Elisa wanted to go back, but she also understood that she couldn’t go back right now.
After reading the text message, she hesitated for a while, then raised her hand, typed out a few words, deleted them, and repeated the process several times. She didn’t know what to reply to Louis.
In the end, she settled for just a few short words: “I am fine, don’t worry. I will come back.”
The next day, Hamish had two bicycles prepared. He silently pushed one of the bicycles in front of Elisa.
“Do you know how to ride a bicycle?” he asked.
Elisa could ride a bicycle, but it had been a long time. If she didn’t ride by herself…
Elisa subtly glanced at the back seat of the bicycle.
She reached out and took it. “Where are we going?”
“Not far. Just follow me.”
The morning air was refreshing. Riding a bicycle not only provided physical exercise but also helped to ease her mind, allowing her nerves to relax.
Elisa pushed the bicycle forward. She couldn’t think of where Hamish might be taking her. The morning air was good, but the cold wind blowing her long hair made her feel a bit chilly.
Hamish was dressed lightly, wearing a light-colored sweater without even a jacket. He rode his bicycle ahead, never letting the distance between him and Elisa exceed two meters. Occasionally, they rode side by side.
The scenery was beautiful, the air was fresh. This was the most primitive scent of nature, something lacking in the big city. As they rode, Elisa finally noticed how large the Burns family estate was; all these mountains belonged to the Burns family.
Hamish said it wasn’t far, but they rode the bicycles for a good half-hour or more.
It was alright in the beginning, but towards the end, Elisa felt tired. She had no time to enjoy the scenery. She watched Hamish ride ahead of her, relaxed. He seemed a little impatient, but he held it in, perhaps because of what he said yesterday.
He had said that as long as she went with him to this place, he would take her back to Bankshire.
“We’re here.”
After riding such a long way, Hamish’s expression was normal, but his complexion was somewhat pale. He turned his head, meeting Elisa’s dim gaze.
Hamish had deep eye sockets, and his long, pitch-black eyelashes slightly shielded his eyes, making his expression inscrutable.
Elisa looked up, missing Hamish’s figure and glanced past him. It was a cemetery, where several generations of the Burns family were buried.
Hamish placed the bicycles to the side and walked in. Elisa hesitated for a moment before following his footsteps.
Finally, Hamish stopped in front of two tombstones.
Hamish remained quiet for a while, then smiled faintly and said, “Mom, Dad, I’ve brought the person I like to see you.”
Elisa furrowed her brows but ultimately said nothing.
The tombstones had pictures, waterproofed and cleaned every month. The pictures remained clean, but over time, even the waterproofed ones showed signs of aging.
Hamish inherited the best features of his parents, making him exceptionally good-looking.
Hamish squatted down, reaching out to rub the inscriptions on the tombstone. Then he knelt on both knees, his voice hoarse as he said, “I should have brought her to see you earlier. It was my fault, wasting too much time and emotional energy.”
Elisa no longer loved him. Bringing her here had lost its meaning.
Hamish’s desolate figure knelt there, his voice fluctuating, ethereal, as if a gust of wind could blow him away.
Hamish said nothing more. He just silently contemplated.
The images of his parents in his memory became increasingly blurry. Every time he tried to recall, the final image would remain from the car accident, their blood staining his eyes.
He cried helplessly, the water slowly engulfing him, thesmell of blood filling his nostrils.
For over a decade, he had been plagued by nightmares until that Christmas Eve when someone pushed him into the water, and a slender figure, despite the cold, jumped in and pulled him out. Since then, Hamish had not dreamt those nightmares about his parents. Even his fear of water had lessened.
In the family album, there were only pictures of Hamish, no pictures of his parents, nor of any friends. There had been pictures before, but they were later burned. At the age of seven or eight, just when he needed his parents the most, Hamish didn’t even have a single photo of them. When he missed them, all he could do was ride his bike far away to sit there for the night.
Pitiful, wasn’t it?
Pitiful.
But also despicable.
Elisa stood by for ten minutes. The warmth from her body slowly faded, her sweat turning cold as the chilly wind blew against her.
Hamish seemed to sense Elisa’s coldness. He stood up. “Let’s go back.”
“Aren’t you going to stay a little longer?”
“No need. It won’t be long before I can truly see them. I don’t need this little while.”
“Didn’t you want to go back to Bankshire? We can go back today.”
They didn’t immediately ride back on their bicycles but walked slowly, pushing them forward.
“What if…” Hamish stared at the ground, his voice filled with emptiness. “If I had met you before Louis, or if I hadn’t mistaken Lila for you back then, would the outcome be different now?”
Elisa remained silent, and the wind in the valley sounded like someone crying, as if in response to Hamish’s words.
Hamish wanted to grasp at the last straw, urgently asking, “If we could turn back time to the beginning…”
“Perhaps,” Elisa’s voice came lightly, carried by the wind into Hamish’s ears.
Hamish’s dim pupils brightened for a moment, but then he heard Elisa’s cold words continue.
“But there are no ‘ifs’ in this world, Hamish. The biggest mistake of my life was mistaking someone and loving the wrong person. Recognizing the mistake and making a change is a lesson even a child understands.”
Elisa turned to look at the rows of tombstones behind her. Even in the cemetery, no matter how good the weather, it all felt lifeless.
“I used my life to teach you how to love someone, yet it seems you haven’t learned. If you truly loved her, you would let go, part ways amicably, and wish each other well, rather than causing her pain. Your so-called love feels more like revenge for my not loving you. Is doing things regular couples do with her love? Bringing her to the graveyard to see your deceased parents love?”
Hamish’s eyes turned bloodshot. “If Louis didn’t want you and another woman together, could you truly let him go?”
“Have you forgotten why I’m still by your side?”
“I love Louis. That’s why I’m willing to be with you, to keep him safe. This is the difference between my love for him and your love for me.”
Teaching him to let go was too difficult.
Hamish looked lifeless. He was like someone holding a handful of sand, the tighter he held it, the faster the sand slipped through his fingers. Before he could even taste the sweetness of the sugar, the sand had already disappeared from his palm. All he could do was absentmindedly lick the remaining sweetness on his palm, the sweeter the sugar felt, the more regret he felt in his heart.
Hamish had known the outcome for a long time. He and Elisa were like two lines intersecting, and after the intersection, the two lines would only move further apart. He couldn’t salvage any of it, couldn’t be with Elisa. Faced with the loss, he had mentally prepared himself, yet still didn’t know how to face losing her.
It was like that year when Elisa jumped into the water to save him; he didn’t know how to face the hand she extended to him. When he accidentally tore her earlobe and she got hurt and needed stitches.
When they came to Chiwood, they didn’t bring any luggage; leaving didn’t require any packing up.