Elisa looked at Louis in the photo. Even though they had been separated for so long, when these photos appeared in her sight, the images of him taking the photos involuntarily surfaced in her mind, vivid and agile.
She touched the person in the photo, trying to connect with Louis’s past.
Thank goodness… he is alive. Thank goodness… he appeared in front of her healthy and well. Thank goodness he hasn’t changed; he is still the person who could disrupt her entire summer with just one smile.
What does it matter that he lost the memories they once shared, in comparison to these “thank goodness”? As long as she remembers, that’s all that matters. She had already gotten used to being the only one who remembered.
Elisa stood up and walked to the window, pushing it open. The summer night breeze felt particularly comfortable against her body. Elisa was dressed lightly, in a thin nightgown, and the breeze made her shiver.
She couldn’t help but recall her life. A bitter smile unconsciously formed at the corner of her mouth. Love is so difficult; the more you care, the more you lose touch with your own feelings. The more you ignore your own feelings, the more you want desperately to prove something.
She couldn’t deny that she had once liked Hamish, but all her affection for him had been exhausted by his accumulated indifference and insults.
Later, she couldn’t distinguish whether it was resentment or persistence towards Hamish. Maintaining her affection for him was because of the vague figure from the past, until the moment Autumn died in front of her, she realized that her “resentment” had been a mistake. She had misjudged the person.
When Autumn fell from being shot, her faith instantly crumbled. She still remembered the words Autumn said.
He said,
-“Little Crybaby, don’t cry. I can’t carry you home this time.”
-“Don’t love Hamish. He’s not worth your love.”
Her long hair was blown by the wind, covering half of her tear-streaked face.
Her eyes were sore from so many tears, and half-closed and swollen from crying.
Can you still call me Little Crybaby now that I know everything, but you have forgotten it all?
I have listened to you, I no longer love Hamish. You were right, he’s not worth my love.
Now, I have started to love someone else, it’s another you. It’s great, I thought childhood love couldn’t be forgotten, but unexpectedly, after all these twists and turns, I encountered it again.
If she considered Autumn and Louis as two different people, for Autumn, Elisa felt more of faith, persistence, guilt, insistence, and obsession. But towards Louis, her feelings conquered all of those.
Elisa had liked Autumn in the past, and now she liked Louis. It’s because they are the same person. What’s different is that Elisa liked that person more than her past self did, simply because he is that person.
Her tears had dried long ago. Her cheeks, where the tears had flowed, felt tight. Elisa didn’t pay attention to it. She washed her face and went back to bed, with the tablet displaying Louis’ photos beside her pillow.
Elisa spent the whole night sleepless. She wondered if Louis was asleep now. At that moment, a thought arose in her mind, a thought she had never had before, the urge to see him.
She had already lain down, but that impulse made her sit up.
She took out her phone and tentatively sent a message to Louis: “Are you asleep?”
Louis, like her, always went to bed early. Elisa, oblivious to the time, only then noticed that it was already two in the morning.
She thought she wouldn’t receive a reply from Louis. Just as she was about to put her phone down, suddenly it vibrated.
She felt a bit nervous. Elisa turned over her phone and the one who replied was indeed Louis.
“I haven’t slept yet. Can’t sleep. How about you? Is everything okay?”
Elisa lightly bit her lip and, with trembling fingers, sent a text back to Louis: “I suddenly really want to see you.”
Not long after she sent the message, Elisa received another text.
“The door’s open.”
Without a second thought, Elisa dashed over, turned the doorknob, and the person she had been yearning for the whole night suddenly appeared in front of her.
He must have gotten up and rushed over as soon as he saw her message. His breathing was a bit hurried. Elisa looked straight at Louis.
A table lamp was on in the room, casting an orange glow. Louis smiled, his eyes curved, and he opened his long arms and embraced Elisa entirely, his voice hoarse.
“I couldn’t sleep because I couldn’t stop thinking about you. Is that the same for you?” He thought about Elisa, also feeling anxious about Brittany making advances on him just because they are of the same gender.
His heart was pounding hard against his right chest, as if it wanted to leap out. Elisa pressed against his chest, feeling only the deafening thump.
The tears she had just suppressed were now threatening to rise again. She thought, despite being just one person, why had she only now realized?
“Louis, I love you more than my past self did. You are still you, you have never changed.”
Louis felt a bit embarrassed, blushing and his heart racing, his ears wiggling in agitation. He held Elisa tightly, suddenly feeling that something was not quite right.
He lowered his head, and in the dim light, he looked at Elisa in his arms. Her white lace nightgown clung to her figure, outlining her perfect curves…