“Mom.” Elisa looked at the photo of the gentle woman with a smile, sniffled, her voice thick with a nasal tone, “I really, really want to see you just once. I thought I could see you if I died, but I never thought I would live again. Why did I come back, but you didn’t?”
Why was she the only one to come back?
Did they not want her, even in death?
Elisa carefully reached out to wipe the photo on the tombstone. The woman in the photo had a gentle smile, as beautiful as a painting.
She reached out and embraced the tombstone, curling up against it, her head resting on the photo, as if a child seeking warmth and comfort in her mother’s embrace.
“Mom, if only you could hug me…” As soon as Elisa opened her mouth, it felt like a blade was stuck in her throat, the sound tearing at her wounds, causing her pain.
Elisa’s nose turned red, she bit her lip, crying helplessly.
She longed for her mother, from childhood to adulthood, wanting her mother’s embrace, her kisses, wanting her mother to sing her to sleep, wanting to hear these words at the most desperate moments.
– “Elisa, don’t be afraid, mother is here.”
Elisa couldn’t even cry anymore, her eyes were sore and dry, tears had dried up deep in her eyes, making them red as if they were about to bleed.
“Mom, Dad, I won’t let anyone bully me anymore. I won’t repeat the same mistakes. I have the capability to protect myself, and I won’t throw away my pride and dignity.”
With that, Elisa choked up, a bitter expression on her face. She let go and turned to another tombstone, bowing deeply to it, pressing her forehead against the concrete, leaving a red mark.
She seemed not to feel the pain, hitting it harder and harder each time, until after six loud thumps she finally stopped.
“Dad, please take good care of Mom down there.”
She wanted to be her daughter in the next life, but if being her daughter meant exchanging one life for another, she would rather never appear again for all eternity.
The weather in Bankshire was peculiar, with sun and rain at the same time. The sunlight pierced through the dark clouds, casting a golden glow, but no matter how big the sun was, it couldn’t warm up this cold place.
The cemetery was quiet, except for the sound of raindrops and bird calls. Elisa looked up, the once bone-chilling rain now felt soft, not even stinging her eyes.
In the drizzle, Elisa sat by the grave for a full hour, her body already soaked. This body was similar to the one she had in her past life, both prone to cold. Elisa stood up unsteadily, swaying in the wind.
She went back to the store to get an umbrella. The owner, seeing her drenched, worried, “I thought you forgot to take an umbrella? Look at you, all soaked. Use a towel to dry yourself off.”
“Thank you, but it’s not necessary.” She touched her drenched clothes, completely wet from inside out, not worth wearing.
Fortunately, Louis had bought her some spare clothes.
“Could I use your restroom?” Elisa asked the owner.
“Sure, it’s the first one on the left.”
Elisa went in with her bag, changed out of her wet clothes, thanked the owner, took the umbrella, and left the store.
As soon as she stepped out of the shop, Elisa saw a car coming around the corner towards her, its headlights flashing and illuminating her.
Elisa squinted, holding the umbrella to block the headlights and also her view, the sound of the engine getting closer, until it stopped not far from her.
The rain pattered on the umbrella, masking the sound of footsteps.
Elisa held the umbrella, tilting it, she looked up to see a black Hummer, its door opened, and Hamish, with a pale, bloodless face, stepped out.
His dark shirt and pants contrasted against his pale complexion as he walked towards Elisa, his obsidian-like eyes fixed on her.
Elisa’s face darkened a shade. How dare Hamish show his face here!
Thinking of the past, Elisa clenched her fists, her nails digging into her palms, but she felt nothing. Resentment overwhelmed her, difficult to control. She could only force a stiff smile, pretending not to care.
Hamish didn’t bring an umbrella, walking into the rain directly. Deep within his black pupils, there was an intense mix of obsession, longing, regained joy, and restored fantasies.
He approached Elisa and took off a small hair tie from his finger, “Elisa, look, I found it, I found the hair tie you threw into the river.”
Elisa stood still, watching as Hamish slowly approached her, finally standing in front of her.
Even when she looked at him, she still had to look up, but this man had lost his high status.
Elisa quietly looked at him for two seconds, finally locking eyes with him, and gently moved her lips, “So what?”
“Didn’t you say that as long as I found this hair tie, you would forgive me?”
“Did you really believe that?” Elisa sneered, her eyes filled with mockery.
Hamish’s face stiffened and paled rapidly, his pupils slowly shrinking to pinpricks. He stubbornly believed that Elisa wouldn’t lie to him, repeating his words, as if to confirm the truth.
“You said, as long as I jumped into the river and found the hair tie you threw in, I could come to see you, and you would forgive me… didn’t you?”
“Hamish, have you ever heard cicadas singing in winter?”