– “Hamish, I’ve long been in hell…”
“Elisa!” Hamish shouted in fear, “Stop the car!”
The driver instinctively slammed on the brakes. His body lurched forward due to inertia. Startled, he subconsciously turned his head. Unbeknownst to him, the tightly shut car window was now open, the wind howling mournfully.
Hamish, seated behind, couldn’t see Elisa’s figure. Witnessing Hamish jump out of the car, the driver, coming back to his senses, followed to assess the situation.
Elisa tumbled out of the window too quickly. Hamish, with his left hand in a cast, couldn’t reach her in time. He helplessly watched her fall, blood trailing behind her in a winding, speckled path-
… Elisa felt as though every organ in her body had shifted from the fall, and the bone in her leg throbbed with a piercing pain as though it were shattered.
Her coat, she had no idea where it had fallen. Her white sweater, now soiled and bloodstained, had rolled across the ground, exposing her skin to the abrasive pain of the concrete. Her entire body burned as if on fire.
The pain caused her to shiver uncontrollably. At this moment, even crying out in pain seemed like a luxury.
Elisa curled up on the damp ground like a corpse, motionless for a long time. A car approached her, and just as she thought she might be run over, the car screeched to a halt, its tires stopping just half a meter away from her.
At the sight of the car hurtling toward Elisa, Hamish was overcome with a chilling dread. His breath caught, his heart felt as though it were being pulled down by a forceful hand. The fear reached an unprecedented peak, the thought of Elisa dying before his eyes causing darkness to encroach on his vision, his spine drenched in cold sweat.
Rushing forward, Hamish lifted Elisa up, pressing his face against her blood-stained cheek, feeling her feeble breath.
“Why are you so foolish?” Amidst the curious gazes of onlookers, Hamish, holding Elisa, stumbled, his countenance disheveled and helpless, resembling that of a lost child.
This was the very thing Hamish had always feared. If Elisa were to regain that memory, her belief would shatter, leaving her a living dead.
No one understood better than him just how much Elisa loved Autumn, the one who had saved her eighteen years ago.
He stayed at the moment when Elisa needed help and warmth the most, igniting a flame that had warmed her for over a decade.
That blurry figure had lingered in her mind for over a decade, continuously idealized, causing her to willingly pour her heart out to someone who never loved her and endlessly hurt her.
Hamish carried Elisa back to the car, taking the tissues handed by the driver and gently wiping the blood from Elisa’s cheeks.
Elisa felt cold, as if made of ice. Fortunately, they were on a crowded street, so the car wasn’t moving fast. While her external injuries seemed severe, they appeared treatable, unlike the wounds in her heart that seemed incurable.
The car’s heater was turned up, yet Elisa’s body continued to tremble, feeling both cold and painful.
Hamish dared not hold her too tightly, fearing he might cause her more pain. The driver went to retrieve the coat left by the roadside, which Hamish draped gently over Elisa. With her body covered in injuries, all he could do was delicately hold her ice-cold hand and gently rub it, hoping to provide some comfort.
“To the hospital.”
Almost without prompting from Hamish, the driver instinctively opened the navigation and headed in the direction of the hospital. One of them had injured his hand, the other had fallen out of the car, and they didn’t know which injuries were causing the blood.
Elisa didn’t faint. The most painful parts of her body were her two legs. If she guessed correctly, they were probably broken. She found it ironic. Why wasn’t she able to die even after all this? Fate seemed to have given her an indestructible body with a wretched life.
She closed her eyes, silently enduring the pain, not wanting to see Hamish’s disgusted face.
This time, Hamish no longer dared to let her go. In the moment before Elisa fell, her eyes held not fear or panic, but a profound sense of resignation and release. That lifeless gaze sent shivers down Hamish’s spine whenever he recalled it.
Using a damp tissue, he wiped the blood from Elisa’s forehead, murmuring to himself, “I lied to you because I love you too much. I was afraid of losing you.”
“I thoughtthat after you lost your memory, we could start anew. I know I’ve made mistakes, I’m guilty, but I truly don’t want to lose you. I love you… I love you… Elisa, please don’t leave me, I only have you…” By the end, Hamish was choking up.
It was as if he had just obtained a precious treasure, only to have it shatter before he could even hold it securely. He had hoped to piece it back together as it was, but no matter how hard he tried, it remained fragmented.
“I’m foolish, so foolish to make the same mistake twice…” Elisa’s pale lips trembled as she spoke, her voice so soft that it seemed a gentle breeze could scatter it.
“The Elisa after losing her memory fell in love with you again, but you ended up killing her with your own hands…”
She didn’t refer to herself as “I,” as if she were narrating someone else’s story.
Hamish closed his eyes, his mind swirling with a myriad of thoughts. If she didn’t want to stay by his side, he would have to find his own way, regardless of whether it was right or wrong. He had already begun to conceive various ideas, some of which would ensure that Elisa couldn’t leave him.
Elisa was taken to the hospital for examination, and indeed, both of her legs were broken.
Upon hearing the diagnosis, Hamish’s temple twitched slightly.
The doctor said, “Left leg broken, right foot injured at the ankle. Both legs will need to be put in casts. They should heal in 3 to 4 months. During this time, she needs to rest well and remember to massage and undergo rehabilitation…”
Hamish’s eyelid twitched. “What will happen if she doesn’t receive treatment?” he asked.
The doctor was taken aback by the question. After a moment’s pause, he replied, “If left untreated, the legs will be disabled in the long term. She would spend the rest of her life in a wheelchair.”
To Hamish, this meant Elisa would never be able to leave him. “Then we won’t treat them,” he declared.
The doctor’s expression changed. “We can’t do that. These injuries can be treated. Why would you choose not to?”
Hamish responded, “I want her legs to be disabled and unable to move.”
The doctor felt a chill run down his spine, realizing that the man before him was a lunatic. He felt a knot in his stomach and a sense of fear creeping over him.
Hamish didn’t want Elisa to leave, but he had never intended to cause her pain. Consequently, he agreed to administer various treatments to alleviate the pain from the broken legs.
He thought to himself, “If Elisa is willing to let go of the past and start anew with me, then I will ensure her legs are treated. But if she doesn’t, she won’t ever stand up again.”
He had plenty of time to “make amends” to Elisa. Yes, all of this was just to make amends to her. Hamish was deluding himself.
Returning to the ward, Hamish looked at Elisa lying there and said, “The doctor said your legs can’t be healed, and from now on, you’ll have to sit in a wheelchair.”
Elisa’s expression shifted slightly before she sank back into her previous state.
Sitting beside her, Hamish gently touched her legs, “Look at you. If you hadn’t tried to kill yourself in the car accident, your legs wouldn’t be disabled.”
Yes, all of this was of her own making.
“It’s good even if my leg breaks, then you won’t think about leaving me,” Hamish said. “Elisa, don’t hate me. There have been new developments regarding the stomach cancer surgery. As for your legs…” Hamish hesitated. “After your stomach recovers, I’ll find a way to treat you. As long as you listen to me, I won’t harm you.”
It was ridiculous, truly laughable. The person who had driven her to despair was now telling her that everything he was doing was for her own good, and asking her not to hate him.
A substance was injected into her legs, rendering them numb. She couldn’t feel anything even if she pinched them.
Prompt treatment for broken legs wouldn’t have been a significant issue, but Hamish was determined to ensure that Elisa would spend the rest of her life in a wheelchair.
Studying Elisa’s features intently, Hamish concluded that she didn’t seem to be a fortunate person based on her appearance. Her small earlobes and thin lips pressed tightly together.
Elisa remained silent, staring at the blank ceiling as if she could discern patterns in it.
With his injured hand, it was inconvenient for Hamish to care for Elisa, so he called Mrs. Rugger to the hospital.
Upon seeing Elisa’s legs, Mrs. Rugger burst into tears, sitting at the edge of the bed, clutching tissues to wipe her eyes. She couldn’t fathom why someone as kind as Elisa had to endure so much suffering, or why good people often faced such cruel fates.
Every day, Hamish would come to wipe Elisa’s face and feed her. Despite his inconvenient hand, he took care of Elisa meticulously. Together with Mrs. Rugger, they would lift her onto the wheelchair. As they gazed at her slender, pale feet, Mrs. Rugger went to fetch a pair of socks for her.
“I’ll do it,” Hamish said without hesitation, taking the socks from Mrs. Rugger and kneeling down to help Elisa put them on.
In moments like these, he was always the most tender, capable of deceiving everyone, as if he wasn’t the one who had caused Elisa’s leg fractures, miscarriage, and disability through domestic violence.
Elisa lay with her eyes open, staring at the lamp on the wall, her dark eyes gradually consumed by the light, casting a shadow of Hamish’s silhouette.
The wheelchair had been specially custom-made by Hamish. The cushion and backrest were exceptionally soft and comfortable. It was designed so that Elisa couldn’t move it herself, ensuring she wouldn’t venture outside and risk injury.
Since the abortion, Elisa hadn’t gained back the weight she lost. With both legs broken, her days were spent eating and sleeping, causing her body to further waste away, especially her face, which appeared sunken and devoid of any vitality.
Hamish had prepared many diversions for her to pass the time, such as various books, a Rubik’s cube, a nine-link puzzle, and picture books. Yet, Elisa had not shown any interest in any of them.
She had lost not only her legs but also her ability to speak. Since the day Hamish told her about her disabled legs, she had never spoken again, her lips sealed as if stitched together.
Hamish, on the other hand, had come to terms with the situation quickly. He had only one thought in his mind: as long as Elisa didn’t leave him, everything would be fine.
Wherever the wheelchair was pushed, she would sit, gazing at the fountain in the garden, listening to the chirping of sparrows. This winter was destined to be the most arduous one she’d ever experienced.
December 20th, just five days before Hamish’s engagement, was quietly approaching, unbeknownst to Elisa.
Hamish personally selected a red cashmere coat for Elisa to wear. A call came in, and after a few words, his expression soured.
After ending the call, Hamish squatted in front of Elisa, meeting her gaze. “I have something to attend to. Later, I’ll have Mrs. Rugger accompany you out of the hospital, and I’ll arrange for someone to pick you both up.”