I didn’t know how to begin this unnecessary explanation. I didn’t want him to do anything to Kenneth. We hadn’t been doing anything wrong, so Kenneth was innocent here. I hoped Ryan would make use of his senses.
“Um…” Kenneth smiled weirdly, and sighed. “I-I guess I’ll be leaving now. Do take care, okay? And, see you at work on Monday.”
I nodded with a smile. “And you too. Goodnight.”
“Goodnight.” With that, he left.
As soon as he walked into the next street, I turned to Ryan who had a neutral expression on his face. Okay, I wasn’t going to deal with his jealousy this time around. I’d just ignore it.
“Let’s go in.” I feigned a smile. Saying it, I just walked past him. But then, for some reasons I didn’t care to know about, he held my wrist back.
“Wait,” he ordered.
I rolled my eyes, and turned to him. Pulling my hand off his, I tucked my arms around my chest.
“What now?” That stern look was on my face.
He frowned a little. “Don’t ignore my question. I asked what was going on, but I got no answer?”
I didn’t know why, but I felt a bit furious.
“Ryan, what’s your problem?” I lowered my eyebrows at him, putting my hands on my waist. “You shouldn’t keep on nagging about unnecessary things like this. It’s crazy.”
“Crazy?” He linked his arms on his chest, and scoffed.
“Yeah,” I replied. I looked away, totally pissed off. “I really can’t take it anymore.”
Again, he scoffed. “So now, it’s a crime to ask my girlfriend what’s going between a guy and her? I mean, I saw you guys hold hands and stay close. And, you expect me to—”
“You’re so insecure!” I retorted. I turned to him, feeling the need to yell the jealousy out of him. “It’s not nice. It makes me feel like you’re quite dominant. I mean, I don’t want a man who’s too possessive of me.”
“Insecure? Dominant?” He twitched his eyebrows, grimaced at me. “That’s not true. If I ask something, it doesn’t mean I’m insecure. And please, do you realize that I only asked a mere question?”
I glared even more. This dude could be annoying sometimes. “And now, you won’t accept your flaws? See, to be honest, I feel like you don’t trust me at all. If you keep doubting me, we’re never gonna progress in this relationship.”
“Oh, Serene.” He rubbed his fingers against his eyes, hard breaths eluding his mouth. “You’re misunderstanding all this. I don’t—”
“That’s how I feel.” I took a step backwards, ready to get going. I had had enough of this discussion. “And, if this continues, I’ll—Just forget it. I’ll be in your car.”
I just sighed, and walked away. I couldn’t complete my sentence. And, that was because, as far as I knew, I wasn’t letting go of him.
But he could be so annoying sometimes.
***
After the little argument between Ryan and me, we had driven straight to his place. I had to take my backpack and shoes from his place, so I couldn’t have gone home first. All through the drive, neither of us had said anything to each other. He was probably as upset as I was, and I really didn’t like that. This was our first argument since we began dating.
As soon as I zipped my backpack which was placed on the bed in his guest room, I walked to the dressing mirror, and checked if I looked fine. I didn’t want my family to be worried about me, so I had to ensure I didn’t look sad or something.
Taking a deep breath, I stepped backwards. And, that was when a knock sounded on the door. Turning to the door, I saw Ryan leaning his shoulder over the door frame, his hands folded around his chest.
He was fine. Very fine.
He was wearing shorts, a V-neck sleep shirt, and white slippers. He smiled at me, but I looked away, frowning at myself.
“Mind if I come in?” He asked.
“Do whatever you wanna do. After all, this is your house.” I stared at my reflection in the mirror, acting like I wasn’t interested in speaking with him.
He sighed out loud, and began sauntering towards me. As soon as he reached me, he held my arm, so I’d look at him. “Let’s talk. Come on.”
I rolled my eyes, and snapped my arm off his grip. “Just go ‘way. You doubt me, right? So, why do you wanna speak with me?”
He smiled. “Alright, if that makes you upset, I’m sorry. I promise to never question you when you’re with other men.”
“It’s so annoying.” I looked away, frowning at myself.
He stepped close, raised my jaw with his fingers, and pecked my cheek. “I’m sorry, sweetie. And, it’s not what you think. I really trust you. I promise. It’s just that I feel scared sometimes. I mean, it was really hard to get you. I just can’t risk losing you. That’s the reason I react that way.”
“No one’s gonna take you from me, fart.” I slapped his arm, smiling weirdly as if my lips were bent. “So, stop it now. Don’t wanna ever argue with you.”
“Me too.” He stepped even closer, held my arm, and pulled me close. Why had he done that? “We went on a date today, but we hardly even kissed each other. Mind if we do that now?”
I giggled. “Okay.”
I was expecting him to do it immediately, but he turned around, walked towards the door. For some reason that seemed creepy, he shut the door, and even locked it. Wait, what was he planning to do?
He walked back to me. For a moment, he stared at me. There was something about him I couldn’t decipher. What was going on in his mind?
He took my hand, slowly pulling me to hin. “Don’t worry,” he said. His voice was really low, filled with so much raspiness and huskiness. “It’s fine. You see, a bunch of people know my door pin. I don’t want them to walk in when we’re in the middle of this.”
Good Lord. Middle of what? Was he…? Okay, It’d be fine.
He pulled my jaw up, leaned close to my ear, and whispered. “Kiss as if you’re only meant for me. Show me you’re mine. I need an ardent kiss.”
“Okay” I murmured.
My heart slipped to my stomach. Goosebumps rose on my skin as his hot breath hit my neck. With the help of my calculating sense, I had a feeling I would give in to this. But wait, it was only a kiss he wanted.
I felt so good and glad. When he pulled back from my ear, I put my hands around his neck, and whispered, “I love you.”
He beamed. The desire in his eyes aggravated. And, I knew I had to get ready for him. Tonight, I’ll create the love; the bond. In almost two months I’d been dating him, my connection with him was stronger than the connection I had had with Ralph, though we had dated for two years. I hadn’t ever wished to give Ralph all of me. But, here I was, ready to do this with Ryan.
He smacked his lips against mine, grabbed my waist, locked the space between us, and kissed with a great thrust of desire, passion, love. I felt something run down my spine, my heart racing quite fast. I was happy to know I’d venture into this, yet I was nervous.
We kissed so hard to the extent I started to move backwards. When we slid to the bed, he pinned me to it. It felt like he wasn’t willing to go. He couldn’t contain his desire. He moved his lips all the way from my lips, to my jaw, then to my neck. A moan left my lips, which kind of made me feel embarrassed.
I let him stay in between my lap, to ensure he was being satisfied. He had to enjoy me tonight.
After a little more kiss, he pulled away. We were both breathing hard, our eyes glued to each other.
He rubbed his thumb against my lips. “I’m sorry if I’ve gone too far. I just wanted this.”
“It’s fine.” I gave him a small smile. He was about to stand up, but I held his arm back, shaking my head at him. “No. Don’t leave. I’m not satisfied. I need more of you. Show me the love.”
“Serene?” He called in disbelief.
I closed my eyes, taking in a deep breath. “I wanna feel on top of the world tonight. I’ll let you be my first. And, you’ll be my last.”
Opening my eyes, I was glad to see a smile on his lips. “I love you,” he whispered.
“Love you too.”
His lips met mine once again, and this time around, our kiss was more intense. As he kissed, his hands moved to the hem of my shirt. He ran his fingers into my singlet, caressing my skin.
Pulling back from each other, we took our time to pull off our clothes. I felt shy, but my desire was surpassing every other emotion that ran through me. What made me even more shy was the fact that his eyes were scanning my body.
What? Why? Was it ugly? Did he not like it?
He smirked, biting the corner of his lip. What a relief. Slowly, he stayed on top of me. Like a Lion who was craving for his prey, he tossed the blanket over us, yanked my body close, and brushed his lips against mine.
Within me, I was convinced that this wasn’t lust, but love. And, hopefully, it’d ever be love.
From now on, I had gotten my assurance that this man was mine, and I was his. We were creating the bond.
***