I hadn’t seen Ryan in about three days. He had been quite busy at the office, so I never bothered him in any way. But, the moment he had to visit me, Kenneth was around. I really didn’t appreciate the fact that he seemed this protective of me. He claimed that it was because of Raymond’s threats, but I didn’t believe that. That was far-fetched. There seemed to be something else going on with him. Only if I knew what it was.
I sighed. “Good to see you, Ryan. But, I don’t think you should care about him. He’s a friend from work.”
“I see…” He twitched his lips sideways, the seriousness in his voice exacerbating. Goodness knew what was going on in his head.
Well, I didn’t care about whatever he thought of me. And, for goodness’ sake, why did he care about who I spoke with? He didn’t have to be so nosy in my affairs, right?
Kenneth turned to me, smiled warmly. I knew he wasn’t comfortable in a way. His smile looked fake. “So, I guess I should leave now. Gotta catch up with something.”
“Yep. Leave. She’s gotta come with me,” Ryan sputtered.
“Excuse me?” Kenneth raised a brow at Ryan. He had spoken so quickly, as if he had been expecting Ryan to say something.
I gulped. What was with these guys?
“Yeah. You need to leave soon. I’ve gotta spend some time with her,” Ryan continued.
Kenneth scoffed. “I’m not sure I get this. You’re trying to chase me away or what?”
“Hey, I’m only—”
“Alright, Kenneth. Guess you should get going.” Ryan was about to speak, probably ready to create an argument, so I had interfered. I really couldn’t let them argue for no good reason.
Kenneth nodded. “Sure. I had a nice time walking with you. Have a good night, okay?”
I feigned a smile. “Sure. Thanks. Goodnight.”
He turned around, heading to the next street. As soon as I noticed that he was no longer in this vicinity, I turned to Ryan. I didn’t know whether or not I was supposed to be angry at him.
He smiled at me. Okay, this wasn’t the time to be angry at him. He hadn’t texted me in twenty four hours, so instead of scolding him, I would just have a nice time with him tonight. I liked being with him, I’d admit.
“Hi.” He took a step closer.
I swallowed hard. I couldn’t fathom what was going on with me. “H-Hey. Didn’t know you’ll be coming around. Mind coming in?”
“Was waiting for you, pie,” he said.
Again, I swallowed. I felt so weird, and suddenly felt queasy. I didn’t like this, yet I liked it. It felt like I was blushing. What was with me? I wasn’t a naive teenager!
***
Ryan and I settled to sit on the bench in my backyard. First, I had taken a shower. After I had slipped on a sleep shirt and shorts, I wore a flip-flop, then joined him here.
He smiled, as he faced me. “I’ve missed you,” he said.
“Oh. Good.” I laughed weirdly.
He sighed. “Tell me, are you fine? You’re not as cheerful as usual. I feel like something’s wrong.”
“It’s nothing,” I replied immediately.
Wait, how had he noticed the gloom which was swaying through me? To be honest, I wasn’t so fine tonight. After seeing Ralph, a weird emotion had been cooking up in my heart and mind. I couldn’t decipher why I felt this way.
“Wait, don’t…” He stopped speaking. Unexpectedly, he moved close, his eyebrows curling in a glare. “Did Raymond do anything to you? Is he still sending some threatening texts to you? Tell me. Don’t feel intimidated by him. I can handle him in every way.”
“He’s done nothing. He’s not sent any text since that day,” I informed him.
I didn’t know what to feel. Was I to be happy that he cared about me this much? Or, was I to be worried about the rare emotion that etched on his facial expression? What was happening to him? He seemed to be overreacting to everything.
His nostrils flared, and he sighed out loud. “That’s good. See, if anyone bothers you, don’t hesitate before stating it to me. I’ll always be here to help you out.”
“Ryan,” I called. I still didn’t know what to say or feel. “Please, what’s happening? Why are you always reacting this way, even to the tiniest things?”
“It’s because I care,” he responded. He smiled, and took my hands. For some reason, he shifted close. “I’ve never liked it when a guy bothers a woman. It’s not nice. Besides, you’re a really good friend to me. I’m obliged to care about you.”
“So, your overprotectiveness is nothing but a duty?” I pulled my hands from his, the blank expression still on my face.
He rubbed his palm through his face, and just sighed. “Serene, I’m sorry if you’re uncomfortable with my actions. But, I need you to understand that I’m only doing it because I care.”
“Really?” I almost scoffed, but I decided to just keep on staring at him.
He nodded.
For a while, we stared at each other. There was something about him that got me thinking. Not everything required spoken words, in order for it to be understood. His body language, actions, and the emotions I could see in his eyes, were proof that he wanted something.
Was he planning to do something bad to me?
As usual, the rare emotion jerked into his eyes. He leaned close, his face close to mine.
“What’re you doing?” I whispered.
There was a thrust of desire in his eyes. This man definitely wasn’t fine. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
“What do you want?” Gripped in a little bit of fear, puzzled and bitter as well, I let the tears form in my eyes.
He leaned even closer, his lips almost touching mine. I was leaning my back over the armrest of this bench, so there was possibly no way I could move backwards.
“Serene,” he called in a low, husky and shaky voice. Before I could say something, I felt his lips soothing mine.
No. I wouldn’t let this happen. I wouldn’t let him kiss me again. Plainly, tonight, I had seen something different. Something was going on with him. And, I need to know what it was. My heart was pounding hard against my chest. I was feeling tense. I was feeling something within me. I was sensing an attraction between us. His closeness was having an effect on me, in the smallest way.
So, to wrap it all, at all costs, tonight, I was going to find out what was wrong with him.
I blinked so much, then snapped my neck sideways. Turning back to him, I swallowed my tears. He leaned backwards, seeming quite embarrassed.
“I-I’m sorry,” he stuttered.
“You don’t have to.” I put on a stern look, ready to question him until I got my answers. “Please, I need you to be as sincere as possible. Tell me what’s going on. I’m really tired of this.”
He clenched his jaw, and swallowed hard. “You know what? We should just end our discussion here. It’s late. I need to get going.”
“You won’t leave until I get an answer,” I ordered. Taking a deep breath, I stared intently at him. “Were you really gonna kiss me again? And then, you’ll say it was just a friendly kiss? Seriously?”
“I—”
“Don’t defend yourself,” I cut him off. Uncontrollably, I glared. I was so upset. “You can’t keep on doing this. Lately, I’ve been noticing that you’ve been so protective of me. In fact, it’s been going on for so long. Whenever Raymond or any other male workers used to call me into their offices, you become so uneasy. What’re you trying to get from me, huh? Did y’all bet on me or what?”
He slammed his back against the backrest of the bench, rolled his eyes. “Please, stop now. Why would I bet and—”
“That’s what I can think of. Do you really want something from me? Huh?!” I snarled.
He gave me a neutral expression, not saying one word. He was getting on my nerves.
I blinked away my tears, and just sniffled. It seemed like I had gotten my answer. He had probably been planning to woo me, then dump me after. His silence was evidence that that was his aim.
“Please, let’s not talk about it,” he beseeched.
“Fine.” I stood up with so much force, frowning really, really hard. I inhaled. “Till further notice, we shouldn’t see each other. I’ll admit, your closeness has been having an effect on me. And, before I get trapped for a second time, I’ll rather save myself from another emotional breakdown.”
He furrowed his eyebrows at me, standing up as well. “What do you mean?”
“You can leave now. Thanks for visiting. I appreciate it. Goodnight.”
With that, I turned around, jogging out of the backyard. I stepped into the house immediately, heading straight to my room. As soon as I walked into my room, I shut the door behind me, then threw my body into my bed like an angry toddler.
I shut my eyes tight, trying to hide the pain I felt. To be frank, my life was a total mess. I didn’t know what to do with myself.
For some days, Raymond had been texting me, claiming that he really wanted me. On another hand, Ralph was yearning to have me back. Kenneth, who I had only known in a few weeks, had been getting really close to me, and was making me admire him so much. And, Ryan was there as well. I was feeling so attracted to him lately, I missed him when he wasn’t around, his presence was a total excitement for me.
Wait, four guys were on my mind? What was this? A Pentagon?
Upset, I threw my face into my pillow, and wept a little. I was so frustrated. And, being honest, Ryan was the main reason I felt this bad. I’d really expected him to say something different. I had expected him to explain why those emotions and desires kept running in his eyes, anytime we were together.
What an idiot I was.
***