Elsa
I take a taxi to Rita’s because I left my car there. I find her drowsy from sleep.
“You are back home soon,” she says sarcastically. I storm past her and throw myself in one of the chairs.
“What happened, Elsa? What has he done?” she asks, following me after closing the door. She looks sincerely concerned about me this time.
“He’s such a possessive asshole and I hate it,” I mutter, and shut up immediately before I spill out more than I intended to.
“They all are sweetheart. Born of the same womb it’s just standards that differentiate them. What has he done?”
I suck in a deep breath and for an insane moment, I admire Rita’s life; her independence, her courage, and the fact that I have never seen her weeping for a dick.
“He wants to take me back,” I respond.
“Why, isn’t that a good thing? You want to be with him, right?” she looks at me with utter perplexity.
“I know I do, but it’s not just being with him. He is a possessive kind of man, Rita. He wants me to obey his every order like I have no brain of my own. He wants me to always be at his beck and call. He said that if he took me back to his place, he was never going to let me leave, ever and he was so serious when he said it. I know very well that he is very much capable of doing it. He kept me for the last three months without any kind of freedom or even talking to my family. I don’t want to go back into that kind of situation,” I tell her.
“You were kidnapped that time. Of course, you couldn’t talk to anyone. Maybe it is going to be different this time,” she shrugs.
“I know how he is. He can’t change anything. That is the way he does his things. He doesn’t expect any kind of disobedience. That is the kind of life he was brought up in. Everyone runs at the sound of his voice. I can’t manage that,” I say, feeling really frustrated and tired at the same time.
“I am sure he knows how you feel about this. You spent the last three months together. He must know that you don’t want this. How about you meet him and try n err negotiating about your own terms, what would make you feel comfortable about your relationship,” she suggests. I throw my head back on the sofa hopelessly.
“The problem is that there might not even be a relationship,” I murmur.
“What are you talking about? ”
“We are not dating. It’s not like he is my boyfriend or something of the sort. We haven’t set any boundaries to define our relationship. We have had sex together that’s all. I am thinking he just wants me back so that he can easily get me if he wants to fuck,” I say, sounding even more hopeless than I thought was. Shit! This is so sad.
“You are just being paranoid. He wants you back because he loves you,” she tells me.
“Love?” I scoff. “He can’t love me. He is a heartless monster. He said that himself; that he doesn’t have a heart. Sometimes he actually tries to show me he loves me and it’s too much I feel like I am drowning it but he always manages to spoil it himself in a few seconds. His evil side just can’t stand being hidden,” I say.
Rita sighs loudly.
“I am not going to lie to you that I can understand everything you are saying. You are conflicting with yourself. It is obvious that you love this guy and you want to be with him but you have your ego that you want to protect. ”
“I never said that I love him, ” I cut it. I am too mad at him.
“You can’t lie to me, Elsa. I have known you for too long to judge from the way you talk about him that you love him. You were scared to lose him when you heard the news that he had been killed but you still had hope that you would see him again. Now that you have finally seen him again, you want to convince yourself that you hate him.”
I roll my eyes at her for being able to see through me. I can’t admit that. At least not yet.
“Whose side are you on, you bitch?” I sit up and shoot her the glare.
“Of course, I am on your happiness side. And your happiness is on Marcello’s side. So, I guess the answer is clear,” she responds with a shrug. I jump onto her and pull at her hair. I push her to the couch and we both land on the sofa.
“You traitor! ” I shout out, making her giggle.
“At least I am not a liar. You would have said the same if you were in my shoes,” she says, holding me by my shoulder and turning us over so that she is above me. She pins me not the chair with a huge grin.
I know she is right.
“You should talk to him and let him know how you feel about this and maybe be able to suggest how you can make this convenient for the both of you,” she says, her face serious.
I sigh.
“Come on, bitch! This is your lifetime opportunity to true happiness and you are fucking shutting it. If I were in your place right now, I would grab this opportunity and let my heart have whatever it wants. Life is too short for regrets, girlfriend.”
I close my eyes.
“For once in your life you have spoken a lot of sense in such a short time,” I say.
“I can speak sense if I decide to. I know a lot of relationship advice though I don’t like being with a man for long. At least I don’t deny myself something that I want when I know I can have it,” she says.
I open my eyes and sit up.
“Okay, I am going to call Marcello in the evening but for now, I just want to stay here and enjoy you before I take myself to exile,” I tell her. She bursts into a laugh.
“You make it sound so grim. But the way you described it before, it sounded like put luxury.”
“It is. Fancy mansion and all but he makes it feel like a prison, looking at me there without any freedom to move out,” I say.
“I am sure you will be able to talk about it and reach a proper conclusion.”
I hope so. Otherwise, I lose all sense of direction when I am close to him. I should ask to meet him in an open place where people will be around.
“Get your ass off the couch and let’s get our day started. It is almost midday and we have no time to waste,” Rita announces, getting off the couch and pulling me off it thereafter. I smile at her despite my reluctance. I am so blessed to have her as a friend in my life.