Arya
Logan’s eyes penetrate through mine, searching for the truth. I have never seen him so… Hurt? Or is it the wine making him look so sad?
I just look at him, speechless. My sense of speech has certainly abandoned me.
“He picks up the glass of wine and sips looking absentminded for a moment.
I stare down at his shirtless body, the muscles of his body tight and bulgy against his frame. There is a dirty trail of hair from his breasts down to his stomach up to his happy trail. My fingers itch to touch him.
He looks back at me, his eyes very dark, I can’t tell if it is because of being tired or sleepy. He looks so miserable. He looks like a sufferer.
“Logan, I…,” I mumble.
“You don’t have to explain yourself. I understand why you are like this. Now go ahead and carry on, assuming that I wasn’t here,” he cuts me off and towns on the drink, emptying the glass.
“You know, I can’t do that,” I murmur, feeling totally helpless.
“Just go away,” he whispers, struggling not to bark. His jaw flexes and clenches in fury.
No!
I remain standing there wondering what I am supposed to do because I definitely can not do that.
“Don’t talk like that,” I mutter, my voice shaking, leaning down to get the glass from his hands.
I crawl up to his lap and sit with my legs astride his. I touch his face, imploring him.
“Logan,” I murmur his name, running my hands up his hard cheeks. I keep on caressing him down to his shoulders. He is rigid and looks away from me.
“Please don’t push me away,” I whisper, tears flooding my eyes.
I hold his hands and wrap them around my waist. He still doesn’t hold me.
I put my hands around his face and make him look me in the eyes. His eyes are bloody red.
“I am sorry,” I say.
He just gazes emotionlessly at me.
“I am sorry, baby. Don’t be like this,” I say, tears running down my cheeks.
“You have hurt me, Arya,” his voice comes out hoarse.
“I know. I am sorry,” I respond, wrapping my hands around his neck, and pressing myself into him. I want him to be so close to me, but he is so distant. I feel like total shit!
I lift myself off his lap and reach for his lips. I kiss him before she gets the chance to stop me. I taste my tears. He doesn’t kiss me back. I have never felt so frustrated.
“Baby…” I whisper against his lips, caressing his chest, hoping that he will let me in. I am so insecure in front of these walls he has put around himself. I want to be inside.
His body slowly relaxed under me, and I feel his hands gripping my ass. His lips seek mine, enveloping me in a possessive kiss that gets me moaning heavily. Oh, how I missed this; him, his mouth, his tongue down my throat. His kiss is rough and relentless, and goddamn good!
When I pull away from the kiss, we are both breathless. We stare into each other’s eyes, trying to suck in some air.
“I have missed you,” he says, his hands going up in my dress, palming my ass through the lingerie.
“I have missed you, too, Logan,” I respond, leaning down to kiss him again.
His hands leave my ass and he gets up, holding me by his waist and like this, he takes us to the bedroom. He places me on the bed. I expect him to continue but he quickly stands and walks to the closet. I watch, in disappointment as he walks in. I had no idea I was this horny.
He comes back, dressed in drawstring pants and a t-shirt. My hopes pop like a balloon.
“I have brought this shirt, in case you might find it uncomfortable to sleep in that dress,” he says, handing me a black t-shirt of his. I hold it, feeling embarrassed all of a sudden.
He has never done this before; turn me on and just leave me… I just don’t know how to act because I want him.
Maybe this is my punishment.
He walks to the window to lock it. I remain sitter awkwardly on the bed, debating between changing into the t-shirt or waiting to convince him otherwise.
He hardly ever denies himself his desires. Maybe he just doesn’t want me.
I pull off the dress and put on the shirt. It is big enough to cover me halfway down my thighs.
After drawing the curtains, Logan comes back to me. I just look at him, hoping he will understand what I want. He always does. He knows when I am tuned on. He can scent my arousal.
He just doesn’t want to give it to me. Switching the lights off, he switches on the nightlight. It is dim but I can see him. He walks to the other side of the bed and pulls the bedding aside. I remain sitting awkwardly on the spot he placed me. He gets into bed and pulls a pillow under his head.
Taking this as a sign, I pull the bedding aside and get in. I can’t sleep like, so far from him. It feels like we are in two different worlds.
Slowly, I push myself to him. I crawl into his chest, placing his hand around my waist. He just looks grimly at me. I touch his face.
“Are you still angry with me?” I ask.
“Yes,” he replies bluntly.
“Please don’t be. I already apologized,” I tell him. He does not respond.
“Touch me,” I beg, finding it so hard to ignore the fact that he won’t cuddle me like he does when we go to sleep. I touch his hand, pressing it against my body. I have never been so desperate for affection in all my years of living. He just keeps his low gaze on my face. Tears suddenly spring into my eyes.
I wrap my hands around his neck.
“I need you, Logan. Make love to me,” I finally say it. My heart starts pounding like crazy in fear of the rejection that is about to come my way.
“No, go to sleep,” he responds bluntly.
Fuck!
There is a sharp pang of hurt that goes through my body, not because I badly want sex but because he has rejected me. I don’t stop the tears that start to roll down my cheeks.
Shit! I can survive one fucking night without sex! I scold myself hoping to calm myself down.
Surely this is not going to work.
Getting up, I walk out of bed. Logan doesn’t stop me nor does he ask me where I am going. That hurts me even more. I head for the door and Logan remains calm in his bed.
Fuck you! I scream in my head but I can’t even say it out loud.
I head out of the room and walk through the corridor, praying that I don’t meet anyone on the way.
Luckily, I make it to the door of the room in which Penny is sleeping.
I know the door violently, in case she is already asleep. After a few seconds, I bang it. It creeks open. Penny stands there with her hair in a disheveled state looking very sleepy.
“Arya?” she frowns as if she is just imagining me.
I just fall onto her, shaking with tears, and wrap my hands around her neck soaking her shoulders.
“Whoa! Arya, what happened?” she asks.
“Can I sleep with you?” I ask between hiccups.
“Sure, just tell me why you are crying. What has he done to you?” she inquires, scrutinizing me with her eyes.
“He hasn’t done anything. It is all my fault. He is so angry at me, he is being so rude to me,” I respond, trying to rub off the tears from my face with the back of my hand.
“Did he shout at you?” she asks.
“No, he doesn’t even want to talk to me. He refused to even touch me. It is just too much for me. I can’t sleep with him when he is like that. It is like he is not there… I think he really loathes me right now. He didn’t try to stop me when I left. It is like he wanted me gone,” I try to explain to her.
“Calm down, Arya. Come to bed. Let’s talk there,” she says, rubbing my tears with her hands. I know how much I am being a burden to her right now but she is my best friend. That is what best friends are for right?
She leads me to the bed and tucks me in. After getting in, she faces me.
“I think you are overreacting, Arya. Logan cares so much about you. He wouldn’t do that,” she says.
“I know. I know he does, but I doubted that. That was the biggest mistake I made,” I tell her.
“What did you do?” Penny inquires, her face deadly serious. I don’t hesitate to tell her the truth because she is the only one in this world I can confide in without any hesitation. She pays attention without making me feel as stupid as I feel while I tell her.
“You have made a very big mistake, babe. You have hurt his feelings. I would feel even worse if I was him because he has managed to handle it well,” she says.
“I know. He told that I had hurt his feelings. He is not the kind that lets his feelings show but he has confessed it to me. I feel so horrible,” I say, burying my face in my hands.
“You should. He has gone through a lot for you and our entire pack. Jex was there to witness it all. He told me of how much alpha Logan sacrificed to fight off the vampires who had attacked our pack. He let our pack members refuge in the pack house while the pack settlement is still being put in order. He lost many of his pack warriors in that battle. He even asked for fighters from other packs to help fight off the vampires. They were very many and vicious. They destroyed a lot of things at home,” she says, and then shakes her head.
“Saying that he was working with the vampires was like a mockery. A total show of u gratefulness after all he has done for you. He saved the alpha and all of us. We owe him our lives,” she adds.
This is only making me feel even worse, but I deserve it.
“I apologized but he is still furious,” I shrug.
“You need to give him time. You can’t expect him to just put all of that aside and fuck you as you wanted,” she snaps at me. I never told her about the begging for the sex part but she figured it out.
“Maybe you can try tomorrow. He will probably be in a better mood. You should also show him how sorry you are. You shouldn’t expect him to guess. Tell him you are sorry. It is up to you to solve this chaos you have brought between the two of you.”
After a few minutes, I start to feel better. I am resolved to make it up to him tomorrow. I pray he doesn’t wake up with a dismissive attitude toward me. I wouldn’t be able to handle it.
“I am the unmated and single one but I am the one expected to solve up with the best solutions. Life is a joke,” she says later when we are both calm.
“You have handled more men than I definitely have. You have more experience, that’s why,” I respond. She chuckles.
“Are you being sarcastic about my one-night stands?” she raises an eyebrow at me. I chuckle lightly.
“Wait till you meet your mate. You will be the one asking me for advice,” I tell her, making her laugh.
“I doubt that though. If I were in your situation, we would have probably fucked through the whole issue,” she says.
“Oh, please! Sex is not a solution for every problem.”
“It sure is if you believe,” she shrugs. Penny and her wired beliefs.
We manage to fall asleep late in the night, but it is peaceful. I dream of Logan making love to me the whole night.