Arya
After touring the headquarters of the Blacktooth Guardians pack, we head back to the Alpha’s residence. Kate speaks of Logan with a lot of respect, not calling him by his name. There is adoration in her eyes when she speaks of him. That is the love every loyal pack member should have for the alpha
“Are you planning to settle with him soon? The womenfolk of the pack really needs a luna. I know you are aware of how a luna is important in the running of a pack,” she says as we stroll alongside each other. “I have noticed that he hasn’t marked you yet. I hope things are going on well between the two of you. I don’t mean to sound like I am interfering. I am just concerned about my Alpha, just like the rest of the pack.”
“I can understand your concern, but I don’t want to keep your hopes up. There is much going on between us. Settling in with him isn’t going to be as easy as it might sound. There are a lot of issues on my family’s side. Things happened between our fathers that we can not easily ignore,” I tell her, not wanting to be details about what exactly happened. She told me she is not from this pack, so she probably doesn’t know what happened.
“Whatever happened, I hope it doesn’t become a block in your relationship. You know, an alpha without a mate gets weaker with time. The Alpha has worked hard all these years to reach where he is. He doesn’t deserve that,” she says. I remain silent.
I can not infer Logan was weakened by my denial. I had not imagined that from the very beginning. I just wanted to reject him because I really hated him. I can not feel the same now. He asked for time to prove himself worthy and he has been doing well so far, though he can be so aggravating when he decides to. I can’t deny that he has gotten under my skin, thinking about him more than anything else in the world, forgetting all that surrounds us; the hatred my pack has for him and the worry about how my family will react when they realize the truth. It all seems insignificant when I am with him.
Reaching the alpha’s house, am reminded of the situation when I bumped into Kate.
I blush, feeling completely ridiculous compared to the way everyone here treats me with the respect that I don’t deserve. I need to keep aware of my position in this place before I put on an embarrassing act.
Jordan comes to meet us, as if he were on standby, waiting for us to arrive.
“Where is Logan?” I ask instinctively.
“He is in his office upstairs with an important guest. This might take some time,” he responds. Oh, I had forgotten how busy that man is. What the hell am I supposed to do with myself while he is occupied with someone other than me?
Whoa! Get a hold of yourself, bitch!
I can hear Penny’s voice scolding me in my head for being a selfish bitch. Well, she was the one who insisted that I don’t leave without his marks on my body. How am I supposed to archive that when he isn’t going to be giving me attention for “some time”? He didn’t even want to kiss me when I dared him to at the breakfast table.
Now I am starting to feel more than stupid for overreacting like this. I should get a hang of myself before I totally lose it.
“I can stay and keep you company while you wait,” Kate offers. She is now in Jordan’s arms. How the hell did she get there? She was just here- Oh, forget it! I am the one who is being absent-minded. Jordan lowers his head and nuzzles her neck. He gives her a chaste kiss on the neck.
Ouch!
I feel totally unsettled with jealousy. I shift uncomfortably on my feet and bite my lip. Why does it feel like they are doing it on purpose just to hurt my lonely feelings?
She gives out a low moan and then giggles. He seems to have whispered something in her ear.
Shit! This is too much for me!
Can’t they just get a room? They can not do this in front of me, I am their god-damned luna! They should show some ounce of respect.
For a moment, I wonder if Logan would do that to me while someone is watching but I immediately conclude that he would not. He cares too much about his pride.
These two are officially mated and they have every right to do whatever they want to do to each other regardless of who is watching. In a werewolf society, there are some things we are not ashamed of.
Kate’s eyes land on mine. She raises an eyebrow at me.
“Can I?” she asks.
“No, It’s okay. I am going to be alright,” I respond. There is someone who probably needs your attention more than I do. I glance at Jordan who is now looking down at his mate with googly adoring eyes.
“Okay,” she shrugs and then turns to face him. Their lips meet in a kiss. Okay, I think now is the time I stopped existing in this space.
I head back up the stairs in such of my belongings, though my mind is not clear whether it is my purse or my mate.
I find my purse in his room and put it across my shoulder. I was planning to leave some time ago, but I hadn’t raised I had left it behind. My head doesn’t function properly when he is around me. I can not blame myself for that.
Outside the room, I feel like seeing him one more time before leaving. Seeing Kate and Jordan make out downstairs has left my body yearning for attention. I would be lying if I said I just want to see him. I want his hands, his lips, and his entire body on me. I feel like there is a deep void in me that only he can fill right now. I want him. Now.
I don’t know where his office is. I can find my way to the Library, but they might not be there unless the Library is his office. If it had been the case, Jordan would have said they were in the library.
I take in a deep breath, deciding if I want to do this or not. I can just walk out of here without risking getting lost in this humongous house. I am infallibly sure that Logan won’t be pleased by my interfering. Jordan made it clear that it was an important guest.
Damn it! Who is it that is more important than his mate?
Making up my mind, I choose to concentrate and follow his scent to wherever it leads me.
I stop in front of a door, on the floor below his bedroom. His scent is mixed up with a strange nauseating scent. It must be for the guest. It is definitely not human or werewolf. It smells like- Vampire? It is a vampire? Vampires, really? It smells like more than one.
What do they want? They hardly ever travel in daylight. It must be so important. Is it about me? Those voracious bloody creatures! I hate them! I have heard that Logan does business with them. I can’t think of any clean business the combination can do.
Deciding between retreating and going in, and I stay at the door. They have probably caught my scent already, or even detected my presence. It would look suspicious if I just left like that.
Opening the door without bothering to knock, I get in. There are five pairs of eyes on me. I can’t tell if Logan’s eyes are full of surprise or irritation. He is definitely not delighted to see me. Not that I expected him to be.
Logan is setting at the head of the table. A white-haired hot-as-hell vampire is standing in front of him. Logan looks like he is undergoing interrogation. There are three other vampires on the table. Two males and one female. It looks like something crucial was going on here. I gather my confidence before guilt takes over.
“Arya?” he sounds like he is struggling not to growl. The white-haired vampire regards me with amusement. The smirk on his face is like a charm. He looks so young yet the aura around him is very powerful and commanding. God knows he might be thousands of years old.
“I, umm… Sorry for interrupting,” I start to stammer up. Logan’s face is impassive. All the horniness I was feeling minutes ago has disappeared, leaving with my confidence.
“As you can see, I am in the middle of something important. What’s the matter?” the chill in his voice makes me curse my guts for being so insensitive. My throat is dry and I just can’t find what to say. Why is he being so dismissive? I am his damn mate for fuck’s sake, why can’t he at least so some affection.
“Arya?” I nearly shake with nerves. I feel like a three-year-old who just spilled flour.
“I was just living so I thought I should say goodbye. Goodbye,” I precipitously state. He raises an eyebrow at me. Anger overtakes my nerves and I nearly add; forever. I am not coming back, you egotistic bastard! My cheeks heat up with mortification. I quickly turn on my heels and walk out, trying hard not to break into a run.
How dare he? That bastard! I hate him! I hate him! I hate him so much! My eyes well up with tears. By the time I reach downstairs, they are on the verge of spilling.
I can’t cry.
I won’t cry.
I repeat this mantra in my head hoping it works. I pray not to meet Kate or Jordan on my way, and, luckily, I don’t. I only meet security guards at the door and the gate. They just look curiously at me but otherwise, they don’t bother me.
I walk through the driveway, surprisingly not breaking into a run. Looking into the woods, I get the urge to shift and run through the woods but I don’t want to ditch these new clothes and my bag. I decide to walk until I find a taxi.