Roman thought about her words only when he surfaced on Sunday morning. Last night had been intense, even for them. Like she had a lot of anger she needed to work out.
He looked down at the woman still asleep in his arms and kissed her forehead. They couldn’t put off the conversation any longer, not if she was still thinking of leaving him.
He’d done too much and sacrificed a lot, even his integrity, to have her right where she was now. He had to tell her how he felt if he was to have a chance.
And he was still terrified at the thought of it.
He hadn’t expected to get that angry when she had mentioned Brendan’s name. He knew they hadn’t had any contact at all since she had left London, and that had gone a long way to taming his jealousy. But that boy was still a sore spot. He’d had just as many dreams of Evelyn being back in his arms as he had had of her and Brendan getting together and taunting him with their happiness. There were so many things that played on his mind that he didn’t want to ask.
Like what she had done when she’d slept over at Brendan’s house. And why she had been outside the Cartwright residence the day she had seen him with Vivian.
It should be enough that she was here, and they could start afresh on a clean slate if he just got the guts to tell her how he felt. But he knew those questions would continue to eat him up, just as Evelyn’s anger would remain if he didn’t set the record straight.
Evelyn’s arms tightened around him and her legs tangled with his as she started to wake. A small smile played on her lips as it always did when they spent time in the playroom. After she had tortured him some more, he had turned the tables and returned the favour. He’d done everything he had been dreaming of since the night she left.
“Morning,” he whispered.
Her beautiful eyes opened and her smile widened. He would have let her sleep longer but they had already spent all morning in bed so he knew she was hungry. She had only picked at her dinner while she had been worrying about her parents.
“Morning,” she answered.
“I would have made you breakfast in bed but I don’t have the strength to move,” he smiled as he brought his lips down to hers.
Evelyn didn’t resist him at all, and he had to wonder if that was because she had decided to be with him while she was stuck here or she was a step closer to being his for good.
“I think we need a soak first before we think about lunch,” he said when he lifted his lips from hers, but he didn’t move.
“That sounds amazing,” Evelyn said with her voice full of sleep. But she pressed herself against him and didn’t get out of bed, either.
“If you’d let me hire a proper housekeeper here we wouldn’t have to leave the bed at all,” he teased.
“I don’t want anyone here hearing all of that,” she mumbled into his chest.
He chuckled and kissed the top of her head. No, he didn’t want anyone hearing any of that, either, no matter how discreet they were. He had only ever allowed himself to be that vulnerable with Evelyn and having someone else witness it was never going to happen.
He held her a little longer as he tried to put his thoughts in order so he could at least address what happened last night before he went any further.
“You were very angry with me last night,” he started.
He felt Evelyn tense and knew she was going to pull away from him but he tightened his hold on her.
“Talk to me, Evelyn,” he pleaded. “I know we didn’t do that before, and that was my fault. But I don’t want you holding anything back from me. I give you my word that the cameras around the house are not invasive, and I don’t even have access to the feeds.”
“Then who does?” she asked quietly.
He chose his words carefully.
“There’s a security team that keeps an eye on the gates and all the walls around the property. There are no cameras pointed at the house and there’s no audio because I don’t want them to see you or hear you when we’re outside,” he admitted.
Evelyn pulled away but he rolled over on top of her, trapping her with his body.
“What type of man would I be if I’d left you out here by yourself with no protection?” he insisted. “I’m sorry I didn’t mention it but I swear there was no malice in my actions. You were and still are the most important person in my life, I will always protect you.”
Instead of pacifying her, he felt her tense even more.
“Stop saying things like that,” she said.
“Like what? That you’re important to me? It’s the truth, Evelyn.”
It was on the tip of his tongue to just blurt it out. Tell her she owned his heart and he would move Heaven and earth for her. That he wanted to grow old with her and face all the disappointments that life threw at them together. Hold her up when she needed him to and have her do the same. He wanted to be her person, the one she turned to with all her highs and lows.
“It can’t be. I think a lot is going on right now for both of us, it’s messing with our heads,” she said as she pushed at his arm. “Don’t start complicating things. It was hard enough for me to accept that I’m back in this position.”
He sighed and rolled onto his back. Evelyn got up from the bed and rushed out of the playroom as if something was chasing her.
He hadn’t expected it to be so hard to clear the air and rebuild the trust they’d had before. And he knew his questions about Brendan would come up sooner or later, but he wanted to be more secure in their relationship when that came up so he didn’t mess things up. And he needed that to happen before the things he had done blew up in his face and Evelyn left for good.
Maybe he needed to do more. Evelyn didn’t know much about him. Maybe if she did, she would know how significant it had been for him to follow her to Birmingham and get rid of the contract. To get rid of the rules and structures that he’d needed to keep himself free of any emotional entanglements and in control.
But there was something he could do to show her he wasn’t here to play games.
He got out of bed and followed her out of the room to the master bedroom, where he heard the bath running. He knocked and waited for her to say he could go in, and when she finally did, he took a deep breath to steady himself.
Steam was rising from the huge tub as it filled, and the scent of the bath salts filled the room. Evelyn put her toothbrush away but didn’t turn to look at him. He walked over to stand behind her, and then gently pulled her back against him as he met her gaze in the mirror. Evelyn looked well-loved. Her hair was a tangled mess, her lips were swollen from his kisses and she had several lovebites all over her body. He wanted her to look like this every morning.
“I’m sorry I made you angry,” he said, kissing the top of her head. “You’re right, there is a lot of shit going on. Let’s soak our aching bodies for a little while and then get dressed. We’re going out for lunch.”