It fucking killed him to walk out of that restaurant and leave the one thing he wanted with every fibre of his being.
Especially knowing that she still believed every word that she had said on their last weekend together. He could tell. She’d walked around the restaurant like a jumpy, terrified little rabbit the whole time he’d been there that he was starting to doubt that he could pull this off.
Evelyn didn’t want to be in the same room as him, she wouldn’t welcome his touch either.
Did the thought of him touching her still make her skin crawl? Had she not missed him? Didn’t she see him in her dreams as he did?
Did she still think he had women tucked away all over the world waiting for him in their beds? Her words still hit him pretty hard even after all these months. Trust had been very important in their arrangement, it had been the biggest reason they had been able to respond to each other so explosively.
But that trust was gone now. That was what he needed to fix first. Then maybe she would start to look at him the way she used to. Not like he was some fucking monster who would do unimaginable things to her.
He just needed a chance, just one chance.
“She didn’t try to poison your food?”
“The longer you work for me the more I wonder if I made a mistake when I hired you,” he said with a scowl when he got into the car.
Phillip just laughed and started the car. The bastard knew that, out of everyone he employed, he was the only indispensable one.
“What’s the situation with her parents?” he asked.
“Still waiting to be housed in suitable accommodation,” Phillip answered.
“See what you can do there. Just in case.”
Just in case all his plans failed and Evelyn didn’t come back to him. Fuck. That hurt to even think about.
“While I’m doing that, maybe you can call your PA. Penny’s been calling me on the hour every hour to make sure you’re not dead.”
He shook his head and looked out of the window. It was the first vacation he’d ever taken but that didn’t mean the whole place had to turn upside down. He’d mentally checked out months ago, even if he had been physically present, but they had managed just fine. They should have been able to manage without him now that he was off the grid. He had more important things to do right now.
His father had probably thought that with all his wives. They had been more important than his business, than his children. Esther was more important to him now than he ever was. Would Charles be the same with his new child? Would the innocent baby feel just as he had?
But it didn’t matter anymore. He would make sure he wasn’t like his father. Evelyn would be everything. She would be the only thing.
And if she gave him children, they would never feel like his work was more important than their well-being.
It was a choice. His dad had chosen his path, but he would choose differently.
If Evelyn came back to him.
“Tomorrow night…”
“It’s all set, sir. Don’t worry,” Phillip said.
And for once he wasn’t grinning or making fun of his misery.
He sat back and watched the traffic until they drove up the driveway. The workmen had cleared everything away, so the cleaners would come the next day before the interior decorators started. This house would be ready to be fully occupied soon.
“I’ll call you tomorrow when I’m ready to go,” he said as he got out of the car.
And then as he had done the following night, he went to pour himself a drink before he headed upstairs. Then he pulled his phone out.
What he wanted to do was call Evelyn just to hear her voice, and then beg her to come to him. But she wasn’t ready to hear any of that.
Instead, he got her number on the screen and clicked to send a message.
‘I’m sorry I made you uncomfortable at work. I’ll come at the end of your shift tomorrow.’
He just had to hold out until nine. He felt the rush in his body as anticipation made him hard. He knew the chances of sleeping with her again were very slim but it didn’t stop him from imagining it.
Taking those lips in his and feeling her melt against him…
Touching her and feeling how wet she would be for him…
Finally sinking into her flesh with her screaming his name…
The phone vibrated in his hand, pulling him out of his fantasies. Her name was on the screen and he swiped it open.
‘Should I get a lawyer?’
He would have much rather preferred a different message, like asking if she could come over and fuck his brains out. He was painfully hard just imagining a future that might never happen. But his imagination was all he had now.
‘Not necessary.’
He put the phone on the nightstand so he wouldn’t be tempted to say anything else.
When he finished his drink, he put the glass down and took all of his clothes off. He’d made the ensuite bigger with Evelyn in mind. The deep bathtub in the corner was perfect to fit two, and the shower had enough room for all sorts of debauchery. He walked into it and put it on, not caring that the cold spray stung as it hit his skin.
Cold showers were still part of his routine but they never worked. He tried for a minute before he changed the temperature and lowered his hand. Even with how cold the water had been, his flesh felt hot to the touch. He groaned and leaned against the wall. The routine was quick and only mildly satisfying as his load hit his stomach in strong bursts.
By the time he’d showered, dried and put his boxers on he was already worked up again. It was his body’s default setting since he’d met Evelyn. Sometimes sleep was the only escape, on the rare occasions that it came, but even there the memories plagued him.
Other times it was a bottle of whiskey that did it. Then at least he could just pass out without thinking.
But he needed to be clear-headed when he met Evelyn, so he resisted the urge to drown in a bottle and picked his phone up again, found Evelyn’s name and typed a message.
‘I’m a mess. My chest feels like it’s caving in and I can’t breathe. I don’t deserve you but I’m begging you to come back to me, anyway. I am completely lost in you, Evelyn Bright.’
He looked at the message for a while. And then as he had done to countless others, he deleted it.