“And that’s it. Now you promised—”
“Sweets, don’t make me drag it out of you. There had to be something about him that attracted you.”
“He has a hot bod, okay?” And I was the first to fuck it, the first to make him moan. Who had he moaned for while he’d been away? I wasn’t born yesterday. He’d had someone during that time; the amount of come he’d shot over the wall and into my hand made that clear to me.
Tim raised an eyebrow, and I realized he was waiting for me to say more. Reluctantly, I continued.
“You’d never know how hot he is just to look at him. He wears the…the most ordinary suits I’ve ever seen. It almost took an act of God to persuade him to buy a Hugo Boss.”
“But he did?”
“Yeah. He wore it on Valentine’s Day, and he looked so good…” I picked at the label on the beer bottle. “He has this pair of button fly jeans, so old they’re almost worn white, but I nearly came the first time I saw him in them.” I looked away and swallowed. “He laughs at my jokes, he’s smart—he’s got a shit-load of bonuses and commendations at work, he loves his family and is deeply loyal to them, even the ones who don’t deserve it, and…” And I thought he loved me too.
Tim glanced at Miss Su as she sauntered to the alcove to use the litter pan. “And he gave you a kitten.”
“Yes.” Johns had given me jewelry, stock tips, even a first edition of Tom Jones, which I’d never read, but no one had ever given me a pet.
He studied me thoughtfully. “It sounds like he means a lot to you.”
“Maybe once, but not anymore.” He looked as if he was about to say something, but I spoke before he could. “Please, Tim. Please…”…don’t tell me I was a fool to fall in love with him. I know that. I cleared my throat. “What you said earlier about meeting guys…”
“Yeah?”
“Don’t you think it’s too soon? I mean, it hasn’t even been a whole day.”
“Gotta get back on the horse, babe.” He shrugged. “If you’re not gonna give Wills—”
“I don’t want to hear that name.”
“All right. If you’re not gonna give he-who-must-not-be-named a second chance—Not that I blame you at all for not wanting to, Sweets. A man cheats on his lover, he deserves to get kicked to the curb. Out with the old, in with the new. No point in letting grass grow under your feet.” He raised his hand to forestall any objections. “I’m not saying you have to go to bed with the first guy who buys you a drink. Just don’t limit your possibilities.”
“Possibilities. Right.” I set the half-finished beer down on the table and stood. “How about Chinese? Does Chinese sound good, Tim?”
He sighed. “Sure, babe. I’ll call in the order now. Do you still like the boneless ribs?”
“Yeah. Thanks, Tim. Thank you…”
He rose and hugged me. “It’s okay, Sweets. It will be okay.”
“It’s okay already.” I gave him my most brilliant smile. “You know, if he was here and he heard you call me ‘Sweets,’ he’d get all bent out of shape. Why did he—No.” I wouldn’t let myself go there. “I’m fine. I’m fine. I…uh…I think I’m gonna lie down for a while, okay?” I put a couple of twenties on the table. “My treat, please, Tim? Call me when dinner gets here.”
If he noticed how watery my smile had become, he didn’t let on. He nodded and left the money on the table, and I went back to the bedroom that would be mine for as long as I was here.
* * * *
The next morning Tim and Cris were already in the kitchen having coffee and reading the newspaper when I rushed in.
“Sleep well, Sweets?” Cris looked at me closely. “No, I reckon you didn’t.”
“Must have been the Chinese food.”
“Yeah, must have been,” Tim said dryly. “You look like hell.”
I always enjoyed hearing that. “You should’ve woke me up. I’ll get started on breakfast.”
“I figured you needed the sleep. You don’t need to fix breakfast, y’know.”
“Tim, I promised you blueberry pancakes, and I’m gonna make you goddamn blueberry pancakes!”
He held his hands up in a placating gesture. “Don’t get your shorts in a twist.”
“Sorry.”
“Here. I think you could use a cup of coffee.”
“Thanks.” What I could use was something to do to take my mind off the dream I’d had—Wills moving further and further away from me and me being unable to run after him because my feet were frozen to the ground. I’d wakened to a thudding heart, wet cheeks, and Miss Su lying across my feet.
“Don’t mention it.”
“Timboy tells me you helped him pick out some really cool stuff for the kitchen.”