I smiled and stroked the envelope—delaying the gratification—pressed it to my lips, then slid my thumbnail under the flap to unseal it, and took out the card.
Once, twice, three times I read the words, growing colder and more numb each time.
The other shoe had just dropped with a vengeance. He’d cheated on me.
I’m sorry. Forgive me. I was a fool.
No, Matheson, I was the fool, a blind fool.
Pain tore through me, worse than anything I’d felt in my life—worse than when Poppa threw me out, worse than when I realized Franky didn’t care for me, only wanted me to trick for him. It ripped me apart, drove me doubled over to my knees. I covered my face with my hands as scalding tears poured down my cheeks.
He’d told me and told me he loved me, that he didn’t want anyone else, until I’d finally come to believe him. How could the son of a bitch lie to me like that? He was probably laughing himself silly at my stupidity—I’d wanted to be loved by him so badly.
Well, it didn’t matter what I wanted. Whether he’d let someone fuck him or he fucked someone, he’d promised, and he’d broken his fucking promise.
And he thought a dozen fat roses would make it up to me?
“Goddamn you, Matheson!” I howled. “I wish to God I’d never met you!”
“Mrrow?” Miss Su nudged my arm, trying to get my attention.
I had to pull myself together. He’d promised to come home early, although now I could see his promises meant nothing. I didn’t want him to see how his betrayal had affected me.
No. Not. Fucking. Likely! I’d never let him see me like this.
I rose to my feet and dried my cheeks on my sleeves, determined to hurt my ex-lover as much as he’d hurt me.
I grabbed the vase and took it into the bedroom with me, cursing him under my breath. Miss Su followed me.
“This is gonna get ugly, puss.” I yanked out the first flower, the vase tipping a little and spilling some water. “You might not want to stay.”
“Mrrow.” Her ears pricked forward.
“Okay. Suit yourself. But don’t say I didn’t warn you.” One by one, faster and faster, I shredded each blossom, my grip on the stems driving the thorns into my palms, but those small pricks were nothing to the torment that big prick had caused in my heart.
Sobbing for breath, I spotted the chain and charm I had given him. Apparently the fucker had stopped wearing it altogether. What I’d had engraved on the back didn’t matter, probably meant nothing to him, not a goddamned fucking thing.
I picked it up and flung it across the room with all my might, then threw the vase after it, uncaring that the rest of the water spilled out, soaking the carpet, and that the vase put a hole in the wall.
The miserable cheater would be home any time now, and I didn’t want to be here. I pulled out my cell phone and speed-dialed Tim. It rang a couple of times, and then he picked up.
“Hello?”
“Tim, it’s…it’s Sweets. I…” My voice cracked. “I need to see you. It’s important.”
“Sure thing, babe. When’s a good time?”
“Now.”
He was quiet for a beat, and my heart lurched. Was he abandoning me too? But then, “Come on down to me. I’ll pick you up at the airport.”
“Thanks, Tim. I’ll order my ticket…” I swallowed. “…and e-mail you the airline and my arrival time.”
“I’ll wait to hear from you. Are you all right, Sweets?”
No. “I don’t want to talk about it right now, okay, Tim?” What could I say? I thought I was going to be one of the lucky ones, but I was dead wrong?
“Okay then, babe. Take it easy, and don’t get yourself killed getting down here.”
“I won’t. Thanks, Tim. Bye.” I went into my office and turned on my computer, then logged onto the United Airline site and found a flight leaving out of National in a little more than an hour. I booked a seat for me.
“Mrrow?”
I wasn’t going to leave my kitty with a man like my ex-lover. I made arrangements for her too before I e-mailed my itinerary to Tim.
While I was waiting for a response from him, my eyes fell on the answering machine. I’d changed the greeting because Wills—oh, God, because he had asked me to. Jesus, I’d been so easy, so stupid.
I stabbed the button, putting the machine into record mode.
“Hi. You’ve got me.” I made my voice throaty, filled the words with intimacy and innuendo. “Now tell me what you want to do with me!”
That would show him.
Or maybe it wouldn’t. Maybe he didn’t even care.
Well, maybe I didn’t care either. I’d go down to the basement and get a couple of cardboard boxes, and start packing his things. I didn’t…didn’t want him here anymore.
I paused in the foyer and stared at the wall. Now that I thought of it, there hadn’t been very much come to clean off it. Jesus. He must have been fucking his way through whatever building he’d worked in. Men, women, he was bi, it wouldn’t matter. How long had he been screwing them all? Had he even waited a week? A day?