Up we climbed, slowly, which was the only way we could, really. When we reached the top of the first tier, I stopped and turned around, the covered Lola doing the same. By then, several of the Libetians had witnessed our ascent. After all, a zombie and a blanket-swathed person weren’t something easily missed, especially not atop their sacred shrine.
“Gather the others!” I bellowed, my voice echoing outwards. And when Saint Creature bellows, people listen.
After that, we stood there and waited. Thankfully, we didn’t have to wait long. Word, it seemed, travelled fast that I had returned and with a surprise no less.
“What’s happening?” asked Lola from beneath the blanket.
“The islanders are amassing in, um, masses,” I replied. In fact, we could hear them soon enough, hundreds upon hundreds of voices reaching, within minutes, our long-dead ears, the sound like a rock concert, the excitement contagious. Even I was trembling with it, and I knew what was to come. “Are you ready?” I asked, talking above the din so that she could hear me.
“As I’ll ever be,” she yelled back.
I grinned. “Time for that third Tony?”
The blanket bobbed and shook. “From your lips to God’s ears.”
“Yeah, I hope he’s listening. We could use any help we can get right about now.” And then I lifted my hands up into the air, wide, before shouting at the top of my lungs, “Silence!”
The hush started from the first row of islanders and quickly spread to the back, the crowd so large now that I could only see where it started and not even close to where it ended. They were packed in beneath the gilded statue, extending far onto the platoons.
I had been brought there to save them, I told myself. I’d done just that, miracle of miracles. Now it was their turn to return the favor.
“Friends,” I said. “I bring you good news.” I patted the standing, still-covered present. “And so much more than that.”
“Show us!” the crowd chanted, the sound making my very bones tremble, my knees quake.
Again I held up my hands. “I will, but first the news.” I paused for effect, every eye on me now, every mouth hushed. The crowd, the great beast, pushed even closer, not wanting to miss a word of what I had to say. I smiled. Ah, stardom. “Firstly, you are all safe now. There will be no more zombie attacks, not now, not ever!”
The collective roar was very nearly deafening, the crowd undulating as their hands went up high in waves and thunderous applause. “The blanket!” I heard, the words swirling like a serpent through the crowd before striking me. “The blanket, the blanket, the blanket!”
Again I lifted my hands, the crowd almost instantly growing silent, watching, waiting. “Friends!” I shouted. “I bring you . . . your savior!” And with this, I yanked the blanket up and over and down. “I give you . . . Blondella Bombshell!”
It was not a sound I’d ever heard before, a multitude of mouths instantly sucking in their breaths, an incalculable number of simultaneous gasps as the person in the mural came to life for them before their very eyes.
Lola stood there, regally, taking it all in. She then flung her arms up—no easy feat, mind you—and shouted so that even the back row could hear. “Your goddess has returned!”
We were nearly knocked over with the adulation that rocketed from the crowd. It was Blondella, it had to be, especially if I, their saint, had said so. And with that in mind, they fell to their knees, shouted in praise, beat their chests and cried in revelry.
I turned to Lola as she turned to me. “Well, that went well.”
She nodded. “Ready for the rest of it?”
I lifted my index finger in the air. “Give it a minute. Let them get it out of their systems. After all, it’s not everyday that a goddess makes an unannounced appearance.”
“Good point,” she allowed, turning back their way. “Besides, since I’m never going to get to play Madison Square Garden, this will have to do.”
Minutes into this, with the crowd still at a fevered pitch, we started hearing the calls, coming in from all sides. “Why have you returned?” And, “Where have you been all this time?” And, of course, seeing as who and what they were, “Who are you wearing?”
Again Lola lifted her arms up high and again the crowd grew silent. “My people,” she shouted. “I have come to reveal the traitors in your midst! They are the cause of the recent zombie attacks!”
The gasps returned, louder this time. After all, this was a small community, not to mention a mostly idyllic one, and what Lola was saying went well beyond shocking.
“Who are they?” shouted the crowd? “Bring them to us!” we heard. “Kill the traitors!” it was even hollered. Plus, of course, “Who are you wearing?” Because once a drag queen, always a drag queen.
“Silence!” Lola wailed. The crowd again hushed. “These traitors have captured two of my subjects, two zombies, yes, but two who are friends, two who wish you no harm. Find these two zombies and you will find the turncoats!”
“Where should we look?” we heard next, the crowd one thing now, anger and shock blanketing all the faces at once.
And now it was my turn. I flung around and pointed to the statue itself. “Inside you will find your traitor!” I shouted. “Find the priestess and you will find our zombie friends!”