Chapter 19 – His desires
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” My lady please open the door” Annalise knocked again for the umpteenth time but I refused to open the door. Ever since we returned to her house, I looked myself in the guest room and refused to utter a word to anybody. I didn’t say anything in the carriage on our way back too. I was too distraught to even open my mouth. I had gone right from hell to the personal Chambers of Hades himself and it was not colourful.
I left my home and my everything to marry a man that doesn’t even want me. He spoke as if I was his mortal enemy from his past life. He even mocked my infertility unintentionally, I shouldn’t have believed the fairytale Annalise weaved to me, I could have just stayed in Ruqgu at least I would have Eria’s comforting spirit around me now I don’t know what to do, I’m stuck in the middle of an ocean while standing in a thin iceberg, if I stay too long, the ice will break and I will drown but there is no way to place my legs except the thin ice. I can see myself drowning even thou I am yet to make the decision.
My muscles had become stiff from sitting down for too long and even if I wanted to reply to Annalise and open that door, I was too tired to do so. I sighed trying not to wonder what my life would become after all this.
” There will be no going back anywhere. If Natalí says you are mine then you don’t belong to another!” that was his last words to me when I suggested going back to my husband’s house. I was jesting, Even if the king were to refuse to marry me, I would just settle in one of those small villages or probably cross the sea and on the Holcomb island. I heard the people there were great and nice and they accept and welcome strangers with open arms.
I stared at the corner where a wooden box lay, the same box Annalise had put all my jewelry and treasures into. That should actually provide me a safe transportation to the island and probably get me a proper house, maybe I will settle down alone and start up a business with the rest of my money, I have always been good with handling finances, it’s just that I stopped caring about everything in general years ago and I had resigned to my fate.
The dream of settling down on my own with a husband or children was a deep contrast to the one I had ten years ago when I met Patrick for the first time, but if that dream was to be my fate, I would be with four children now not in a strange country about to marry the king after faking my death to my husband.
The sun was about to set when Annalise knocked on my door again, my mind had calmed a little and I had had enough of drowning myself in pity so I decided to tell her that I was leaving Nayak for Holcomb, I had no desire to be the queen to a king who finds my presence annoying or the one who calls me ugly and old.
My skirt has ruffled from sitting for a long time and I straightened them out with my hands before standing up to open the door for Annalise. She knelt immediately, her eyes were kind of puffy like she had been crying for a long time like I had been too. She must have felt sorry for me but I don’t want her to be sorry at least she was the reason I’m kind of free from Patrick’s clutches.
” My lady, please forgive me. I’m so sorry, the king is not always like that. He just ..” She apologized while bowing her head profusely. It was kind of funny that she treated me like her queen even when I was not the queen yet.
” You don’t need to say anything I know what he is like” I breathed out and her eyes widened as she stared at me in confusion.
” I’m sorry, have you met him before? How will you know what he is like?” She asked.
” I met him on my way to Nayak. He was the most annoying and the most obnoxious person I have met in my life” I said taking a seat on the mattress again, my limbs protested as I could feel an ache in my lower body.
” Are you sure he was the one?” Annalise blinked trying to contain the piece of information I just gave her.
“How could I forget the first person I used the tears to heal? The very ungrateful one at that” I hissed trying to contain my annoyance at the man who was my supposed soulmate.
” You used the tears on him? Sweet Natalí! How?” Annalise exclaimed, she stood up from her kneeling position and took a seat in from of me on the floor. I explained to her how I met him at the inn how he stumbled on my room after being poisoned with Belladonna and how I saved him.
“Your case is a special one my lady” She blurted out after listening to my story.
” What do you mean?” I asked getting impatient, I just wanted to tell her of my plans and leave as quickly as possible.
” You are the first one to heal someone with the tears with the proper rites. Most Nayak Queens would only stir the tears awake before marriage, nothing more than that, they only heal people after completing the marriage rites. You are a special case” She explained and I nodded my head in understanding, I have just become a sort of powerful sorceress or something. I can heal people now even without being married to him, can I heal myself then? And be free from barrenness? If there is a way to do that, then I need to find out.
” That means I can leave?” I asked, fidgeting and hitting my knuckles together nervously.
” Leave? To where?” Annalise gasped.
” I have decided to leave Nayak. I don’t want to become queen” I breathed out and she looked at me as if I had just told her I have another head secretly hidden in my body.
” Why? No, I shouldn’t ask, I understand. You don’t want to marry someone who will mistreat you again. But ..” she sighed probably unsure of what to say next. It was like she could read me, sometimes she acted like my mother, she had this motherly aura around her probably the reason why the king listened to her.
” It’s already hard, knowing that I would share him with three other women but living with the fact that he wouldn’t want me or desire me is hard. If he doesn’t desire me, how am I supposed to get pregnant?” I muttered under my breath but she suddenly smiled.
” No, my lady. He will want you, more than anything in this life. I can see the bond has been established between the both of you already. Nayaki kings only fall for their Queens, you are the only one that matters” she assured me, she moved closer to me and held my hands.
“Those three consorts? They don’t matter. Even if you were to be a woman of the night or looked like a troll, he wouldn’t have a choice but to fall in love with you anyway. Because the bond is there and you will be the only one he ever desires” She added and I felt something warm in my stomach, intense almost greater than what I felt for Patrick, I loved Patrick at the beginning of our marriage but what I felt for him then pales in comparison to this one.
It was cold as if it had been lying dormant inside me but suddenly got ignited and erupted like a volcano, threatening to engulf me whole, all the thoughts of settling down at Holcomb flew out of my head and went through the window instantly. All I focused on was the fact that he would only desire me always.
” You need to get dressed my Lady, we are moving to the palace. The King has ordered that the marriage rites begin in three days”
I was taken aback by Annalise’s words. The idea of being the sole focus of the king’s desire sent shivers down my spine. Could it be true? Could I find love and happiness in Nayak, despite the rocky start?
With newfound hope and determination, I nodded at Annalise.
“Alright, I will go to the palace.”