I chuckled. “As if you had much of that to begin with.”
“Bitch,” came the reply.
“And amen to that.”
I heard her laugh inside my head. “Are you dead, my love? This some sort of spirit world trick?”
“I was already dead to begin with, Dara. So, no, no trick. Radiation leak is more like it,” I replied. “I’m a Superqueen now.”
The harmonious laughter returned. “And you’re using your powers for good instead of evil? Now there’s a switch. Did hell freeze over, oh wifely husband of mine?”
“Nope, just my heart,” I retorted. “In any case, this thing you’re hearing is sort of like a radio wave. Short distance.”
“How short?”
“Hmm, maybe fifteen feet. Directly, give or take, below you.”
She sucked in her breath, if only in her head. “Won’t you be spotted?”
“And in boy drag,” I amended with.
Again she laughed. “Will I even recognize you then?”
“To hear it told, I’m quite handsome this way.”
“Says who?” she was all too quick to reply with.
“The wife of the man you’re tethered to. One Miss Lola Fontaine.”
“The Lola Fontaine? That’s Ricky’s wife? No fucking way.” He paused, if only momentarily. “Wait, how did you know we’re tethered together?”
“Long story, sweetie. In any case, we’re here, we’re queer, or at least one of us is, and we’re coming for the both of you. Just try and keep the zombie inside of you at bay as long as possible.”
She sighed, again if only in her head. “Easier said than done, hon,” she replied. “I can feel it already. It’s not too far off. It’s like the sands in my hourglass are running out, just a handful of grains remaining. Ricky said it’s the same for him, too. In other words—”
“Hurry, I know,” I transmitted, quite literally finishing her train of thought.
Sadly, as to the hurry part, we had a limiting factor to contend with, and when it came to her, namely Blondella, hurrying was out of our control. In fact, we didn’t even know if we could get her alone, let alone kill and/or unkill her once we did. Plus, I had no say in the matter. Heck, I truly had no say, period. Far as Blondella was concerned, I was nothing but an unthinking, unfeeling minion. Still, Lola had a plan, and between the star and the bitch, I was putting my money on the former.
In any case, the star herself reappeared an hour or so later. She found me where she’d left me, inside the booth, dancing alone in a dark corner. Yes, our loved ones were in peril, but if I was going to die and/or undie and/or redie, then at least I was going to get one last twerk in. Though, yes, my twerk needed some work.
“You okay?” she asked, upon seeing me. “Do zombies have seizures?”
I threw her a smirk as I worked on my twerk. “That was dancing.”
“If you say so,” she replied. “Any luck with the hubbies?”
I nodded. “They’re in on the plan. Any luck with Blondzilla?”
She tilted her head. “Nes.”
I tilted mine. “That a showbiz word?”
“Nes,” she repeated. “No and yes.”
“Which is it?”
Her head untilted, though it took a considerable amount of effort. “Yes, we practiced sleeping, out back, outside the disco—”
“Terrific!” I yipped, thereby interrupting her.
“But surrounded by armed guards.”
“Oh,” I ohed, clearly now deflated.
“Yeah, oh,” she also ohed. “Bitch is none too trusting. Go figure.”
“And the bigger problem?” I hazarded to ask.
“I thought that was the bigger problem.”
“No,” I said. “The sleep problem. How did you train someone to sleep when they can’t, when you can’t, when none of us can?”
Her oh turned ah. “Ah,” she ahed. “The only thing bigger than that bitch’s hair is that bitch’s ego. So if I told her that I could sleep, then she was certain that she could as well. Heck, she even said that she drifted off for a minute or so.”
“That sounds like her,” I murmured. “So now what?”
“Now we wait, I suppose,” she replied. “Try again and again, as long as it takes to get her alone.”
“Before the husbands turn, which is going to happen way sooner than way later, according to Dara,” I informed. “Plus, even if you can get her alone, I’ll need to be there, right? To do the bitch in once and for all, if that’s even possible. Unless you think you can do it, to kill what’s already so very much dead.”
“I did play the lead in Sweeney Todd, you know.”
I grinned. As much as I liked Ricky, Lola was fast becoming my all-time favorite zombie. Albeit, the list to choose from was a rather short one. “No, no I didn’t. But, be that as it may, killing someone, even a dead someone, even a dead bitch, isn’t as easy as killing with a prop barber’s razor. Trust me, I know.” And all too well, in fact. “No, we need to lay a trap next time.” I grinned as I stared out into the disco. Or better yet, above it. “And I think I know just the thing that should help.”