Lying on his back as he stared up at the starless night sky, Jordan heaved a sigh for the umpteenth time tonight, feeling as though the weight of the entire universe rested on his shoulders.
He was currently seated in his car, parked outside Emerald’s resident as he rested in the driver seat, which was positioned in an inclined angle so he could settle in comfortably as the sunroof of his cabriolet was left open to let in the cool night breeze in order to drive away the foreboding quietude that wound tightly like a serpent around his neck, suffocating him.
He didn’t know how he was going to face her tonight after spending almost two weeks avoiding her existence. His earlier conversation with Keelan in the office flitted across his mind as he heaved a sigh. His friend might be dumb most times, probably for the majority of his life, but Jordan couldn’t deny the fact that there had actually been gruesomely bitter truth in what Keelan had spouted and that was what nipped unyieldingly at the back of Jordan’s mind.
When he had begun his explanation at first, Keelan had been dumbstruck and stunned into silence at the unbelievable words that had left Jordan’s mouth in a tumble. “I kissed a woman,” he had voiced out.
With his eyebrows drawn tautly together in perplexity, Keelan had said, “so?” asking him what was the problem about kissing a woman as a full grown man.
Jordan had groaned in annoyance before begrudgingly mumbling out the words, “You should know I never do kisses, Keel. She was my first kiss,” Keelan’s jaw had fallen right to the floor at his words. “And I actually. . . enjoyed it,” he had whispered, leaving Keelan to collapse in his seat.
Sighing against the freezing night air, Jordan shut his eyes as his mind immediately wandered off to the kiss in the garden. The kiss had been the epitome of the term, ‘out of this world’, as cliche as that sounded.
Maybe because it had been his first kiss? It had been so amazing that if he had gotten his way, he would’ve remained glued to her lips for the rest of the day, but sadly, duty had to call.
Jordan opened his eyes and looked towards the quiet house. Through the upper windows, he could see that no lights were on; the entire house was completely enshrouded by darkness, making Jordan sigh again. She seemed to have already fallen asleep.
His fists clenched in anger as he thought of how he had been avoiding her like she was a plague when all he wanted to do was have a taste of those pink thin lips of hers every time he set his eyes on her frame.
Keelan had really opened his eyes to his mistakes, unbelievably so. He had made him understand his feelings better. He felt something for the beautiful and pneumatic shrink – that fact was undoubtedly established, but most importantly, Keelan had helped him to truly appreciate and accept these strange feelings of his.
A particular question which his friend had voiced had been so powerful enough to drive away all the insecurity that had been drowning him since the day of the kiss. He had asked him, “whenever you see her, how do you feel?”
Not having to think too much about it, Jordan had immediately answered, “happy. A strange sense of happiness always fills me every time I see her. This may sound really cheesy but somehow, I don’t know how, my heart starts beating faster at the sight of her. Really fast, it’s like it wants to leap out of the impoundment of my chest,” he had chuckled, “I know it’s weird, right?”
After that moment of confession, Jordan had looked up to meet Keelan’s gaze and the look of surprise that had been on his friend’s face would have been Guinness book of records worthy. It was until he had fully digested the astronomical amount of sentimental words Jordan had thrown at him before he had spoken.
“J! You’re falling in love!” Keelan had exclaimed with eyes wide as he had flailed his arms about the air, startling Jordan.
“No, that can’t be possible. I don’t do feelings, Keel, especially love and you know that.”
In confusion yet with slight panic, Jordan had vehemently denied that assumption. The word, ‘Love’ was never destined to exist in Jordan’s dictionary. He was a ruthless Don of a Mafia empire, happiness and love weren’t entitled to someone as broken and desensitized as him.
Therefore, he had immediately shunned Keelan’s thesis but somehow, Keelan had managed to make Jordan see through his own eyes. He had ultimately manoeuvred his way through the cold maze of apathy and obstinateness with which Jordan had surrounded his heart.
He had come to discover the nature of his true feelings for the green eyed goddess. He had also finally come to terms with them, embracing them and letting them fuel his actions. They had come to terms that although, it may not be love, these feelings were still very evident and existent and they were undeniable.
Keelan had made him rethink his decision of choosing to stay away from her because of the constant insecurity and fear that ate deep into his soul. He had made him regret neglecting her all this while, even more than he had regretted it before.
With eyes filled with compunction and a heart as heavy as a rock, Jordan stepped out of his car, not forgetting to close the sunroof before heading for the front door. With his hand placed on the doorknob, he inhaled deep breaths, mentally preparing himself for the encounter he was about to have with Emerald, which could either end well or badly.
Finally turning the knob and pushing the door open, even after being given a century, Jordan could’ve never been prepared for what awaited him on the other side of the door.
“Emerald,” he whispered in shock as he stood frozen at the threshold of the entrance.