“Mar, have you had dinner tonight?” Her mother, Maggie’s silken voice came through the phone as Emerald grabbed the milk carton from the refrigerator.
Almost as if the guilt ate into her, she blinked rapidly a couple times before clearing her throat, unsure of whether to tell her mother that she was just about to eat dinner at past 10p. m at night or that she would only be consuming a few of her famous baked goods accompanied by a glass of cold milk.
Her mother had a strict rule against eating late at night, eating measly or insubstantial amount of meals and most importantly, not eating anything at all.
Emerald knew that this rule was made the utmost prioritized law in her mother’s constitution all because of her. She remembered how she had made herself suffer from the bottomless contrition that had devoured her soul at such a young age.
She remembered all the pain and agony she had inflicted on herself with the desperate need to relieve herself of the regret that had filled her heart and entire being.
She had hated herself, despised her very existence and she had made sure to leave an indelible mark on herself. Everytime she looked at the scar, she would remember how she didn’t deserve to still be given the chance to breathe such free and fresh air offered by mother nature. And just like that, she relived the guilt all over again.
Before the rue could fill her whole heart, her mother called out to her. “Maree! Are you even listening to me?”
“Yes mom. I am.” Her voice came out hoarsely as she looked down to see her right hand wrapped around her left wrist, her mobile device was held between her ear and shoulder.
Hurriedly, she unclasped her hands from each other. She hadn’t even been cognizant of when she had moved her hands exactly.
“Are you sure? You don’t sound as cheerful as you did some seconds ago.” Her mother’s voice came again with a concerned tone laced stubbornly around her words.
A sad smile graced Emerald’s lips as she wondered what she had done to deserve such a loving and tenderhearted mother. She had done nothing good to deserve such painstaking love from her. All those years and even now, the only thing she had given her mother was pain and worry.
Despite her disturbing and tormenting thoughts, Emerald forced a laugh in attempts to ease her mother’s worries.
“I’m really fine, mom. I was just worried about the punishment you might want to give me for. . . uhm, not intentionally. . .” she deliberately stressed the word. “. . . breaking your utmost rule,” she whispered.
She heard her mother heave a sigh on the other side followed by a very familiar chuckle in the background.
“Lulu? Is that you?” Emerald called out with a wide grin on her face.
“Piccolo!” Luca’s baritone voice exclaimed through the phone, his thick Italian accent accentuating his every word.
Everytime Emerald heard his voice, it reminded her of how her mother had fallen in love at first sight-or rather, at first hearing-of his sexy and deeply husky voice. Her mother’s words, not hers.
Maggie had fangirled over him for days, ranting endlessly about how his first-rate husky voice coupled with his thick Italian accent had sounded much more dulcet than the melodies from a symphony orchestra.
As a young adult, Emerald had watched her mother fall into multiple daydreams and trances for almost two weeks before finally meeting him again at her restaurant when he had brought his, at the time, adolescent daughter, Armani for their father-daughter dinner.
Since then, they had hit it off and had gone on multiple dates before finally deciding to date. It had taken them almost half a year before they had eventually agreed to date each other.
Both parties had been really worried about their daughters’ well-being that they had been willing to jeopardize the happiness they gained from spending time with each other just for their children.
For Emerald, Maggie had been reluctant to get too close to Luca due to what had happened with Emerald’s own biological father and for Armani, Luca had been particularly cautious about going far with Maggie because of what he and his daughter had had to suffer from the hands of his ex-wife.
Both of them had fallen abysmally in love with each other yet they had been hurting themselves just for the sake of their daughters. When Emerald had discovered, she had blamed herself once again for making her mother suffer but instead of drowning in her bottomless ocean of depression, she had played Cupid and had helped both parties get together. But of course, she had done it with Armani’s help.
Emerald had to admit that notwithstanding her age, Armani had been a really intelligent and helpful kid. And in no time at all, they had created an unbreakable bond betwixt themselves.
Having seen the fulgent grin that had gained control of her mother’s face when Luca had asked her to be his girlfriend, Emerald had known that she couldn’t have asked for anything more than to always see her mother happy and she knew that Luca was just the right person to give her such warm fuzzies.
Her mother deserved a fresh start; a second chance at love that was sure to end happily ever after, this time around.
“Come stai, amore?” He asked, his signature Italian accentuation shining vividly through the phone’s speakers.
“I’m doing good, Lulu. Thanks for asking. How ’bout you? How are you doing?” She settled on the kitchen stool as she proceeded to begin consuming her dinner after placing the milk carton back in its rightful position in the refrigerator.
After meeting Luca, Emerald had further educated herself on the language of the Italians other than the basics that she had learned in high school while Maggie, her mother, also knew bits of Italian since Luca had volunteered to teach her, although, she wasn’t as fluent as the others.
“I’m perfectly fine, amore. Il mio amore here. . .” his voice gained an affectionate timbre and Emerald could tell that he was talking about her mother. “. . . is taking excellent care of me. I feel just like a neonate,” he chuckled amusedly before a yelp followed after.
Emerald laughed, knowing that her mother had probably hit the poor man and her suspicions were confirmed when she heard him trying to coax her with sweetly amorous words.
She rolled her eyes before clearing her throat in hopes of regaining their attention. “I’m still here, you know?”
“Oh, I’m so sorry, piccolo. I totally forgot about you.”
“Hahaha. Funny, Lulu,” she watched as drops of water trailed down the side of the glass cup containing the cold milk. “Tell me, how is my Armi doing? I’ve missed her so much. Even much more than I miss you guys,” she smirked.
“Hahaha. Funny, mimma,” Emerald laughed, aware that her teasing had worked. “Well, Armi has been missing you a lot as well but lately, she’s been really busy with school. Running helterskelter, trying to finish up some projects and whatnots. You know how she is. Studious and exceptional, just like you.”
Emerald smiled. Although she missed her. . . younger sister and was worried about her well-being, she knew very well how intelligent and willing Armani was to learn. The formerly thirteen year old girl had been so intrigued and proud of the nineteen year old Emerald that she had aspired to be just like her soon-to-be older sister.
Emerald had believed greatly in the little girl because even at such young age, she had shown immeasurable determination and great potential. So, everyone had been more than elated when Armani had gotten into the same Harvard University at the age of seventeen-a year older than Emerald when she had gotten in-to study architecture.
The atmosphere couldn’t have been more exultant for the whole family and Emerald couldn’t have been happier that even with her accursed life, she had been able to make a positive impact on someone’s life.
“I’ll try calling her sometime soon then. She shouldn’t overwork herself.”
“Mhmm, that’ll be good. Now, how are you, Emerald?” His tone was serious and Emerald knew that as he had called her by her full name, he meant business.
“I’m fi-”
“Ah. Ah. Ah,” he interrupted. “Think well before answering me. You know how much I hate lies,” he warned earnestly.
She sighed. “I’m not lying to you, Lulu. I really am fine. Not a single thing has been out of place here. Although I miss you guys very much, but other than that, I’m good.”
There was really nothing wrong with her, at least for now. But even if there was, the last thing Emerald wanted was to dump her problems on their shoulders like she was that dependent little girl years ago. A little girl who had been scared of even the slightest pin drop.
Yet, that was what scared Maggie and Luca, the fact that Emerald was too independent. They were afraid she would end up hurting herself by trying to solve all of her problems herself. She really wasn’t living up to the saying, ‘A problem shared is a problem half solved.’
But they couldn’t afford to push her or pester her any further. That was something else about her; if she was being pestered or pressured to do something or to voice out, she would only recede and shut everyone out even more. The best thing was to let her know that they would always be there for her whenever she needed someone to talk to. And that was what they did.
“Fine. Prendersi cura di voi stessi, piccolo.”
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