Would be nice to wake up to the tickling effect of a beautifully patterned butterfly perching on the tip of your nose as the first rays of sunlight kissed your skin.
Would be nice to hear beautiful blue birds singing as they glided across the clear blue morning firmament. Such a taradiddle it would be if one could pad barefooted across the room towards the window to behold the beauties mother nature had to offer to mankind.
The rows and rows of endless, clean-cut green grass, the ethereal colours that splashed the morning skies as the rise of the round orange-yellow ball made the Manhattan welkin blush with different shades. The mountains in the distance that seemed to have endless peaks which projected towards the heavens.
These scenarios seemed to only appear in fairy tales, maybe Cinderella or probably in the countryside of London because unfortunately, this was no fairy-tale story. This was Manhattan – an industrial city right in the hearts of New York City, one of the busiest places in the entire U. S.
Although, Emerald and Oriana’s apartment was situated in the less busy parts of the city, that didn’t hinder the hubbub that currently made its way into Emerald’s ear canal as she laid still in her bed, her eyebrows furrowing as the hullabaloo seemed to escalate even more.
She opened her eyes and groggily sat up, carefully resting her back against the headboard in order not to hit her head against the long and single board shelf placed over her bed.
Her green pupils which seemed to be dusted with golden speckles of dust dilated as her dull eyes swept round the room, trying to adjust to the darkness.
As always, her red velvet curtains were pulled together to block the sunlight that threatened to peek into her room, revealing and chasing the darkness out of every nook and cranny. The light from her bedside lamp had also been switched off.
The dark room which shielded Emerald from every sunlight and the rising uproar that was beginning to proliferate outside her room were a total contrast to the golden kisses of the sun rays and the bird tweets; the closed curtains gave no room for neither some makeshift beautifully patterned butterfly nor some disdainfully mismatched cricket or grasshopper.
The unremitting argument was starting to piss Emerald off and with the thought of chasing out whatever could be making such ruckus, she got up from her bed and stormed out of the dark room, her soft, black plush, cat slippers sliding across genteelly polished tiles.
‘I need to get my room double soundproofed,’ she thought as she climbed down the stairs, the voices becoming more audible.
“What the fuck. . . is your problem?!” she could hear a gravelly hoarse voice shout before a pained groan accompanied the voice.
“You see?! You’re making me shout again!” the voice bellowed again but this time around, a manly chuckle followed the frustrated moan.
“You. . . You little. . . pussy vibrator!” Emerald walked right into the kitchen just in time to see a mouse chasing a cat; a rather furious looking mouse that seemed to have gone pink with rage and a half naked, amused cat.
The cat was the first to notice Emerald’s presence and he hurriedly ran to hide behind her, the wide grin never leaving his face despite the deadly look the little red mouse shot at him.
“What the heck is going on here?” Emerald inquired as Oriana attempted to push her aside to get to Logan who was still gaining his entertainment from feeding off of her anger.
“Move aside, Mera. I’m going to murder this dingbat with a lanky dick today,” she seethed as she waited for Emerald to move but the green-eyed woman who had been awakened by their inane banter was rooted to her spot with her arms crossed across her chest, a deadpanned expression on her face.
“Hey! You know that’s not true. My dick is anything but-” he was interrupted by Emerald who raised her index finger in a command to ‘shut the hell up.’
Her lips turned up in a sneer that scared even Oriana as she shook her body, successfully shrugging off Logan’s hands. Letting her eyes scan her crazy looking friend standing before her, she took in her mien before her gaze zeroed in at the sight of the weapon she intended to use in murdering Logan.
“With what? A carrot?” She raised a mocking brow as she pushed past Oriana, grabbing the orange vegetable from her hands before walking towards the bin.
“Mera. . .” Oriana whined, annoyingly dragging out the ‘a’ in her name.
“. . . He deserves to die for his sins,” she whinged again.
“So what. Are you sinless?” Emerald retorted as she opened the bin and tossed the carrot into the metallic can before lifting her foot off the lever, letting it close again.
Logan chuckled before speaking, “Eme, why did you toss the carrot into the trashcan? It could have still been put to good use,” he mumbled the last part.
Emerald raised a skeptical eyebrow. “Ori touched it without washing her hands and from the looks of things. . .” she eyed Oriana’s appearance again. “It seems she hasn’t showered yet. I can’t take the risk of having to use an infected vegetable to make an edible meal.”
She moved towards the kitchen sink and doused her hands with the lemongrass scented wash before turning on the faucet to rinse the lather off.
“Besides, if you intend to use a carrot, cucumber, eggplant or any other sensuous fruit or vegetable to please yourself, I’d suggest you don’t do that in my house and most definitely not with my own crops,” Logan grimaced at the thought of pleasing himself as Emerald wiped her hands off with a napkin before turning to face them.
“Now, do you both mind telling me what the hell made you think it was appropriate to make such noise this early in the morning,” she gritted out.
Oriana’s downcast head immediately snapped up as she shot Logan a murderous glare, the young, half naked man returning her glare with another amused grin as he raised his hands in mock surrender.
“Why don’t you ask captain double flush over here,” and just like that, the tables seemed to have turned when a triumphant smirk spread across Ori’s face and the amused grin that had previously grown roots on Logan’s face were uprooted and combusted.
“Hey! Stop calling me that!” Logan retorted in embarrassment as his cheeks were painted in light pink.
“Make. Me. Double flush.” Her mischievous smirk spread even wider.
Immediately, Logan let out a rather overexaggerated growl as he advanced towards Oriana while she in return, puffed her cheeks and pushed her chest out, attempting to look bigger as she let out a battle cry. But before both seemingly animated characters could advance further towards each other, they felt sharp stings on their heads as two consecutive whack sounds resonated round the now quiet apartment.
On instinct, both Logan and Oriana froze and put their hands to rub their aching heads before they turned to the only figure in the room who was capable of doing such a thing to them. With wide eyes, they gaped at her in disbelief, their only movements being the way they simultaneously rubbed their heads.
Satisfied with successfully gaining their uninterrupted attention, Emerald gave a single nod before placing the rubber spatula on the countertop.
“Now that I have both your attention, I’ll ask again; Why. The. Hell. Did. You. Guys. Wake. Me. Up?” She gritted out again, her expression turning even deadlier.
Logan and Oriana cautiously looked at each other before looking back at the angry woman, who was dressed in a black camisole which had little red strings at the sides and red pyjama shorts with the same strings at the sides but this time, in the colour black.
Somehow, her cute red and black PJs made her appear like the female Lucifer sent from hell to punish those that had awakened her from her deep slumber; she looked anything but cute.
They gave out sighs of defeat as their heads fell and hung low. “Mera. . .” Oriana mumbled softly.
“We’re sorry we woke you up. It wasn’t our intention to,” Logan continued. Their voices only a smidgen away from being whispers.
“Then what was the noise about?” She scrutinized their every move like a hawk, her lips pursed in a firm thin line as her arms were crossed across her chest. She wasn’t going to make it easy for them.
“I was here on my own when McStuffins here decided to grace me with her almighty hung up presence,” Logan explained innocently as he pouted and bashfully batted his eyelashes at Emerald, totally ignoring Ori’s glare.
“And I wouldn’t have had to wake up if it weren’t for the noises you were intentionally making with the pots and pans,” Oriana bit out in brewing annoyance.
“It isn’t my fault you decided to drink to stupor and ended up getting a fucking hangover. I wasn’t even doing anything wrong. I was just making breakfast for us,” he explained as he pointed towards the fully stuffed dining table, which neither Oriana nor Emerald had taken notice of earlier.
“Maybe I was wrong to make a ‘good morning, I love you guys’ breakfast seeing as this is how I’m treated in return,” he grumbled as he glared pointedly at Oriana, who released a defeated sigh as she looked down, trying to avoid his accusing gaze.
“Ori? Do you have something to say?” Emerald called out as she walked towards the dining table filled with various mouthwatering delicacies; perks of having Logan visiting.
“I’m really sorry, Lolo. You know I’m not usually like this. I blame the fucked up hangover. Forgive me?” She asked as she inched closer to him with her amber eyes wide open in pretend innocence.
Logan bit his lips hard to stifle the laughter that threatened to escape the crack between his lips as he continued to look at Oriana’s makeshift puppy dog eyes which was looking more like the view of a constipated Chihuahua.
His eyes momentarily darted towards Emerald and he saw her shooting him a warning glance before moving her gaze back to the dishes in front of her.
“Fine, I forgive you. . .” he cleared his throat as he straightened up. “With that face, I don’t think I could stay mad at you for long,” he snickered and Oriana didn’t seem to have caught the double meaning to his words as she smiled widely before wrapping her hands around his naked torso.
“I love you, my little Capitan double flush,” she teased again as she let go of him while giggling.
“I told you it wasn’t me,” he groaned as his hand swam through the blonde storm seated on his head.
“But I clearly saw you coming out of there,” Oriana smirked.
“Yeah, but I also met it there and if you had turned your head, it had looked like a flamingo without wings,” he chuckled at the memory.
“Do you mind? I’m trying to eat here and I can’t do that if you keep talking about someone else’s faeces, now can I?” Emerald complained as she stared pointedly at the two of them, her hand which held the fork of pancakes stuck in mid air.
“Sorry,” they mumbled bashfully as they both let out quiet giggles at the amusing yet disgusting memory.
“Thank you.”
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“For the last time, young woman, this isn’t some pizza place. This is a therapy centre and we most definitely do not make pizzas with extra cheese and anchovies. Am I clear. . .?”
Emerald groaned in annoyance as the persistent lady on the receiving end of the phone call wouldn’t budge one bit.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?! I keep telling you gently that this is not a pizzeria. If you’re motherfucking blind, then get someone else to do the reading for you, seeing as you can’t even differentiate between the call line of a pizzeria and that of a therapy centre.
I swear to God, if you ever call this number ever again, you’ll be missing one of your titties before daybreak. Now fuck off?!” she shouted in anger before slamming the receiver back on the intercom phone.
Taking deep breaths, she massaged her throbbing temples as she let out a pained moan. She was acting weird today and somehow, she knew what was coming. She could feel it in her bones and she dreaded its existence.
As her breathing started to even out, a cellphone ringtone echoed round her quiet office once again and thinking it was the same dumb pizza woman, she was about to answer it and cuss at her when she realised it was from her own personal phone this time.
Furrowing her eyebrows, she looked at the unknown number on the screen before swiping the green icon, successfully receiving the call.
“Eme!” the voice came through, making Emerald’s frown go deeper.
“Carol?”