Jennie’s folks’ place was a couple of towns south. It did not take long to get there. Her father had the door open before I reached the porch.
“Is something wrong?”
“Nothing is wrong. Don’t worry. I just need a minute with Jamie.”
He hesitated a moment, before telling me to come in and make myself at home while he got my brother.
“There’s fresh coffee in the kitchen,” he said, but I had enough even were my insides up to any more.
It was about eight-fifty. Showtime in just over two hours. Jamie entered the living room. In his jeans and a T-shirt and with wet hair. Barefoot. He looked very concerned.
“What’s wrong?”
I rushed to him and hugged him. We are not a hugging family. I hugged him.
I told myself on the drive down that I would not, but I could not withhold the tears.
“It is about mom,” I said as I pushed away.
“What about mom?”
“I miss her so much. And I thought about her last night and I talked to Kerry and Suzanne about her when we got back to the inn and I had more wine than I should have—we all did—and I told them how much I miss her and that she was my best friend and I never told anyone that and I realized that I never spoke to you about that and it wasn’t right or fair that I hadn’t so I had to come here to tell you so you would know and so I would know that you missed her too.”
At some point in this stream, his hands gripped my arms lightly and when I was done I realized that I had not told him how much I love him but I could not tell him because I used up all of my words and could only sob as he pulled me closer and then his arms encircled me.
He kissed my hair.
“Is that all?”
He pushed me away to look at my face. I sniffled as I got control of my tears.
“‘Is that all?’ I bare my soul to you and that is all you can say? ‘Is that all?”
He quickly understood that I was teasing. He sat me down and was next to me on the couch.
“I miss her all the time. But I know it’s not like for you. That’s the nature of parents. Boys and their fathers. Girls and their mothers. I know how important she was to you and I have always known how much you miss her. We all do.”
“I am sorry I’ve ruined your wedding.”
He put his fingers below my chin and lifted my head.
“You would only ruin my wedding if you didn’t come.”
“You are so full of shit.”
“Hey. You burst in a couple of hours before I am to get married like Dustin Hoffman, and I’m full of shit. And you need to watch your language.”
And he was right about that last thing and he was right about my mother and us as a family and I hugged him one final time before getting up and reminding him that he, yes, was to be married in a few hours so he had better get his ass in motion so he was not late.
I left as abruptly as I had come, shouting, “See you later” to the house as I went and hurried to the girls’ Subaru so I could be sure not to be late for my own brother’s wedding. And I was not.