When Carol told Kerry that Jordan had tried to hit on me when I was at the firm, Kerry said she did not know that and, after the penny dropped, said, “Fuck.” Learning from Carol that I was probably in the master bedroom, she rushed to me, now saying, “You think I have doubts about you? About us? About who I am?”
“I know what I saw.”
My all-consuming thought: We are over. I had been wrong to push myself on Kerry, desperately wanting her to be what I now realized she wasn’t.
“I’m sorry Kerry. It’s not your fault. I never should have done what I did to you…I just wanted you so much, I loved you so much, that I tried to make you into something you weren’t. Aren’t. Please don’t hate me for taking advantage of you…Please say you’ll at least be a friend. Please. I shouldn’t have tried to ‘convert’ you. I understand now.”
“Suze, you really are deaf, dumb, and blind sometimes.” She gave her love a shake. “First, you didn’t ‘convert’ me. I found you. I’ve not had a moment of doubt since I visited you in your apartment about who I am and who I want to be with. Second, tonight you didn’t see anything. Until Carol mentioned it, I didn’t realize how touchy-feely he is. I don’t think it’s intentional, that he’s harassing or anything, I just think that he’s one of those people who when they get excited about something naturally lean into the person they’re talking to. I mean that. He is oblivious to it.”
“So why did it matter that Carol told you about his moves on me—I don’t know how she found out about that by the way—that you came running?”
“Because I was afraid you’d get the wrong idea. You’re the best, baby. I don’t care about the rest.”
“Did you just say that?” I had to grin.
“Well, you have told me I have a silver tongue.”
“Eww,” and I grabbed a pillow and hit her with it. “Promise me that you don’t have doubts about ‘us,’ about you being with another woman.”
“Suze, baby, no doubts about any of this. No doubts about you leaving school and getting a job, moving in together, getting engaged. No doubts. And no doubts about setting a date.”
“I thought we were waiting until Mom and Tom got married.”
“You know how clueless the two of them can be.”
“Mary and Betty got married on the first Saturday of Summer. What do you say we do it on the first Saturday of Fall,” and pulling out my calendar I announced, “September 22, which happens to be the first day of Fall.”
Having my head spin, like, 900 degrees in the last three minutes, I was a bit of a wreck, until Kerry poked me and I saw that we had disturbed the bed, and we were trying to smooth it out when we heard a light tapping on the door. “Come in,” and Carol entered and surveying her no-longer-made bed said, “Sorry we don’t have a lock on the door, but I can call AAA Locksmith for an emergency visit if you want.”
When Kerry and I stopped blushing, and I’d brushed the tears from my face, Carol closed the door and told us both to sit. We sat. She stood.
“Kids. You are such babes in the woods. I trust you talked about the ‘mini-crisis’ you believe you just had. Listen. You’ve probably heard this a million times but relationships are all about your hearts. I spoke to Jordan, and he’s apoplectic. You should both know that he can get enthusiastic about things and he does stuff he probably shouldn’t. I nearly had to talk him off the ledge when he realized how you, Suzanne, might have viewed what was happening between him and Kerry. I didn’t ask him to, but I’m sure he’s out there waiting to apologize to both of you.
“I’ve asked him to be more aware of how other people might view things that he does, and I think he gets it now. A learning experience for him.
“And let’s hope one for the two of you as well. Now can we please get you out mingling again?”
And I looked at Kerry and she at me and to her “should we?” I said, “Go ahead,” and that’s how Carol became the first person to know the date.
And with that our first crisis passed. Jordan rushed to us when we got back into the living room, tripping over his apologies. He is a sweet guy and he is a bit clueless about some things even though as a lawyer he was smart as a whip. And I realized that when he tried to “hit on” me it was nothing but an awkward attempt to see if I might-at-some-time-in-the-future-be-interested-in-going-to-lunch-or-maybe-just-coffee-with-him.
I could now enjoy myself at the party. There were several spouses and significant others who were not lawyers and some of the lawyers in the room were not boring when they spoke about other aspects of their lives.