GRACE.
My phone’s alarm went off reminding me it was time to go pick Laurel up from school. I had lost track of time, sobbing and sinking in gloom since I got back from Dior’s Diner.
I was relieved to see that Jody had left, so I had enough space to cry my eyes out without anyone asking me what was wrong. I had no idea if she kept to her promise but I couldn’t care less at that point.
I was going to tell my friends, but not now. I still couldn’t believe this was happening after all I had gone through to get my life back on track. Working like a mull these past seven years, trading sleep and convenience for a life of comfort for my daughter.
What do I tell her now? That some stranger who was about slipping into my life after six years was her father? After telling her she had no dad the first time she asked me with watery eyes at age three.
Damn you, Connor Shelby, I thought.
The time- to- pick- up- Laurie- from- school- alarm chimed again. I had set it for twenty minutes before the school’s closing time, just so I could get there before she got out of her class room.
I uprooted myself from the single love seat couch I had been sitting on since I got back home from that horrible meeting.
I brushed my hair again to look neater, checked to see if I had black eye bags from all that sobbing. Thankfully, my eyes looked pretty normal, just slightly swollen to at least the point that Laurel wouldn’t notice. Then I threw on the grey jacket I wore this morning and headed out of the house.
My hundred-year-old black sedan was sitting at the driveway, looking worn out and battered. I didn’t mind anyway, it was far better than dragging my kid along the subway or tube. It was my father’s car and Laurie and I had named it Precious, even though it no longer looked it, yet she would always be precious to us.
I hopped in, dropping my handbag at the passenger’s seat before beginning the rigorousness of starting the engine. After five fruitless attempts, Precious coughed and came to life.
“Thanks girl,” I muttered under my breath before veering out of the drive way. I could have given Precious a sibling if I could afford one but that was not an option at the moment. Maybe later, I thought as I drove into the high way.
Half way to Laurel’s Mayfair school, a thought occured to me that made me drive faster, pushing Precious in a way that I knew was more than she could handle.
How did those men find me anyway? I didn’t even tell him my name or anything about myself when I helped him. Okay, I know he would have known my house after the accident but that didn’t guarantee much except he was someone who could access any information, right?
And if he knew that much about me, there was a bigger chance he would know about my child as well. What if he….
I couldn’t get myself to think about it.
Why hadn’t I thought about this? I cursed myself over and over again. I could have gone straight to Laurie and stay close to her class till she was done.
Oh God…
I stepped on the accelerator, pounding on the horn to get the snail drivers out of my way. Precious corporated and seven minutes later I was pulled over and raced to Laurie’s class room.
Instant ease flooded through me as I stood outside the entrance watching her run out with a wide smile on her adorable face.
Then I realized with utter disbelief how much she took after Alpha Connor. The thick brown hair, the defined edges of her face, her naturally tanned skin and loose limbs. It was a relief she took my mother’s sea-blue eyes.
The thought struck me with renewed urge to cocoon my child and guard her fiercely. She looked happy right now. I couldn’t imagine throwing a stranger into her life at this point all in the name of having a father. A father who was never there for her in the first place.
A stranger who didn’t even know when she said her first words or when she took her first wobbly steps or the day she opened her eyes to the world.
They were connected by blood, yes. Denying that was turning a blind eye to reality, however, it took more than being connected by blood to share a part in a person’s life.
I love my child more than anything in the world, and allowing someone like that into her life, someone like Connor Shelby whose life is totally open to the public would cause a damage I may never be able to repair in her life.
“Mummy!” she shrieked and ran towards me as fast as her tiny legs could carry her.
I wanted to tell her to stop running, scared that she might fall and hurt herself. But it was of no use because she was now racing into my arms. I squatted so I could hug her properly.
My heart swelled with love as threatening tears stung my eyes. I blinked them back rapidly, so my baby wouldn’t be worried.
I scooped her up, while she launched into her daily report chattering about what happened in school as we strolled towards the car park. I hoped with all of me that her enthusiasm at life would never grow dim. She’s my brightest ember and I’ll continue fanning her glow. It scared the hell out of me that a whole fraction of that depended on me.
At first I was confused as to if I was doing the right thing in keeping the pregnancy with the issue of being a single parent and raising her alone.
But hearing her continuous cheerful chatter, with the beautiful smile on her face convinced me that I did the right thing. I had stayed away from men ever since, vowing never to have anything to do with a man again and focus on raising my child.
She was worth the sacrifice and I wouldn’t mind taking that same decision I took seven years ago over and over again.
“Mummy you know what Ms. Anna said?” she asked, dragging me out from my sea of thoughts as I drove along the street that fed me into the main road, heading home.
“No baby, what did she say?”
“She said it takes a strong person to forgive. And that many adults don’t like to forgive people who hurt them, and that we kids shouldn’t be like that when we grow up.”
“It’s true, Laurie,” I beamed at her, wondering if that teacher was some sort of a Seer or Shaman. Not that I believed in the potency of any of that anyway. “But adult lives are a lot more complicated than that, okay?”
“How mummy?” she stared at me wide eyed.
Urrgh, I forgot I was in the car with a curious cat, I groaned in my mind.
“When you grow up, you’ll understand.” I answered cautiously. “But for now, let’s keep that energy. Okay baby?”
“I knew you weren’t going to explain.” My smarty pants kid giggled and fished out a book from her bag, leaving me alone once again.
We drove onto the driveway of our building quietly, with her still drawing sketches only she could understand. An unfamiliar car was parked in the space where I was meant to keep Precious, so I parked behind it, got out went around to open the door for Laurie who had already alighted as well and was giving me a smug look.
I stared at the flashy red sports car, which was looking like either a Lamborghini or a Ferrari. Pardon me, I’m not into cars. But I knew it would be extremely expensive and no one living in this neighborhood could afford it.
Laurie was gawking at it as well, so I grabbed her tiny hands and made for the flight of stairs that led to our own apartment at the second floor.
She ran up ahead of me happily to show me how strong she was, oblivious of how much that increases my anxiety and doesn’t make me feel good as she thought.
“Laurie, stop!” I screeched.
And as she turned to look at me with a chuckle, she missed her step and was about to fall unto some steps ahead when a big firm hand caught her.
My heart literally snapped.
“Laurel!” I screamed and raced to where she stood, wide eyed with shock and guilt.
I dragged her from the firm hands and raised my eyes to say thank you, only to meet the steel-grey eyes of Connor Shelby.
The heart that recently snapped did a summersault into my stomach and stayed there. How dare he lay his hands on my child!
“Are you hurt baby?” I turned to face my daughter with a gentler voice.
“Yes, mummy,” she said, coming out of her daze.
“Let’s go.”
I held her hands firmly and brushed past the intruder. But she didn’t budge. She grinned innocently at the man that stopped her from falling. “Thanks,” she said before facing me. “Let’s go mummy.”
I didn’t want her to suspect anything, but she had expected me to thank the person who helped her which I didn’t. She watched me go against what I had always thought her.
I increased my pace and without looking back, opened the door and standing behind for her to go in first.
“Grace.” he said my name from behind causing heat to rise from my body’s core. “Please, listen to me, please.”
“I’ll join you soon baby.” I called from outside, then closed the door firmly and twirled to meet the cause of my anxiety standing few meters in front of me, looking sinfully handsome with his X-ray eyes fixated on me.