I sat in the bedroom and waited for him, listening to the sound of water from the bathroom.
I left all the clothes he would take on at the door of the bathroom.
The sound of water stopped but he didn’t come out after a long time.
I was worried and went in.
He was naked and I turned back hurriedly, “Put your clothes on.”
He didn’t reply and I said again, “Dennis.”
He hugged me from the back suddenly and my body stiffened, ‘What are you…”
“Call me darling.” He put his chin on my shoulders and I could feel his warm breath.
“You put on the pajama.” I had sex but seldom with him.
He just hugged me tightly and said nothing in reply.
I was wearing my pajama, thin and comfortable.
I could feel his cock hardened.
He was a man in his prime time.
I said, “Dennis, it’s late.”
He turned me around to look at him and pressed his lips upon mine.
I was almost breathless and wanted to resist but he stopped me.
“Clara, did he have sex with you?”
I was petrified, “What?” who was he talking about?
He didn’t speak and kissed me violently as if he wanted to swallow me.
He seemed angry.
I found that when I was in the hotel but why?
I had thought about his work but I was wrong.
The hot steams penetrated the bathroom.
He picked me up with his arms suddenly.
“Are you angry?” I asked gingerly.
“You don’t want me?” he looked at me.
I shook my head, “I do but not here.”
“Okay.”
He carried me to the bedroom and put me on the bed.
I had had sex with him before but this time was different.
I stayed awake for a long time after we had sex.
And when I finally fell into sleep, I heard moans Dennis.
I turned on the bed light and found him sweating and frowning.
He was having a nightmare.
I woke him up, “Dennis.”
He woke up and looked at me for a second before he hugged me tightly, “Clara, stay with me!”
I didn’t know what he was talking about but I hugged him, “I will.”
He nodded, “Clara, you are what I have only.”
It suddenly occurred to me that I had not been the only one that suffered in the past four years. He had suffered too. And while I had Clarrie, he had been alone.
We two were like two puppets, which drowned ourselves in the depth of the ocean far from any other human being. And what we had were each other only and that made the darkness at night tolerable.
He said, “You see how vacuous the room is. Each time I woke up and you were not around, I would doubt whether you never showed up and I just made up all those things about you. I was so lonely after all.”
“And the villa in City J, every time I went into it, I felt quite lonely. Then I went to the cemetery to pay tribute to my grandparents, the letters on their graves were so clear that I felt I was in a dream again. Then on my way back, I somehow wanted to drive to the cliff so that I might wake up from the dream.”
I clutched his hands and felt pain for him, “I am sorry.”
He continued, “Clara, grandfather taught me how to do business and how to deal with adversaries in the business but he never taught me how to love. When I met you, I mistook harm for love foolishly. I am so sorry.”
I shook my head, with tears running down my cheek, “I was too obstinate.”
No one was perfect.
In the last seven years, I seemed submissive and I never really put myself in his shoes.
I loved him but the manner was wrong.
If I had told him about the child and about what I was thinking of instead of cheating him with a fabricated abortion and trying to leave him, he wouldn’t have been worried that I would leave him if I went back to the Lewis family and our child wouldn’t have died, and Diana would have been alive too. And the relationship between me and my parents would not have been so poisonous.
This night, we hugged each other and confessed our sins.
Love was an ability to give rather than take. Forgiveness and support would be good conservatives.
He said, “I wouldn’t want another lonely four years.”
I promised, “that won’t happen, honey. We will be together for the rest of our life.”
He hugged me, “Clara, please say you love me.”