“You are right. I have a clear estimation of myself!” Then I got in the car.
Toby was confused, but he couldn’t stop me forcefully, so he had to drive after me.
Leo had bought me a house in City P, but I thought it was unnecessary, so I never went there. Today, I finally remembered that house, so I took a taxi there.
It was not far from here. The house was big and well decorated. No one had lived there for years, so it was inevitable to have dust on the floor.
I didn’t expect that the first person to visit here would be Hank. When I saw him, I felt a little uneasy.
Feeling unhappy, I said unfriendly, “What are you doing here?”
He looked at the house with a smile on his face and felt a little happy. He seemed to be satisfied with it. “Are you living happily here?”
I bit my lips and asked, “What do you want?”
He didn’t get angry because of my impoliteness. Instead, he was in a good mood and said, “Can I go in and have a seat?”
I stepped aside, and he went into the living room. He sat on the sofa. I didn’t bring him a cup of water, nor did I intend to do it.
My eyes were a little cold. After we met last time, our previous friendship had somewhat changed a lot.
He looked at me and went straight to the point. “Four years ago, after we parted in Country M, I came back soon. After I knew that you left the George family, I looked for you everywhere and often thought about where you were and how your life was. I wandered in different cities every year, trying to find you, but I was afraid to find you…”
He told her in a calm voice. Instead of being cold, his tone was a little gentle. “Clara, you don’t know how much I miss you.”
If our friendship were as good as four years ago, I would have asked him worriedly what the car accident was at that time, why he went to Country M, and why he didn’t come back since he was still alive.
But now, I didn’t want to know the answers. I just wanted him to leave.
I said calmly, “I don’t know why you pester me. If you plan to join hands with the Lewis family with my help, then I think you’ve thought too much. Four years ago, I didn’t admit that I was one of the Lewis family, and now I won’t go back to the Lewis family either. As for the Kennedy family, I think that Leo hates you more than Dennis, so he won’t cooperate with you. Therefore, it’s useless for you to pester me.”
Since he was a businessman, I had to explain these to him.
There was a short silence in the living room. He reached his hand, grabbed my wrist, and pressed my palm on his abdomen.
It was a scar.
“Four years ago, I took you back to the Ny Villas from the hospital. You were often sitting on the balcony alone in a daze because you lost your child. If there was no one around you, you would jump down through the window. Because I was afraid that you would hurt yourself, I nailed all the windows in the villa. Later, you would get up at midnight to look for a knife and cut your wrist. You cried so hard and pulled my clothes, asking for your child. At that time, you almost hurt yourself. I snatched the knife from your hand and let you stab it into my body. You saw the blood and passed out for several days. ”
He said this and looked calm, but my heart really ached. Too long had passed, and I almost forgot those days.
He smiled, “When you woke up, I asked the servants to take away all the knives and sharp things in the house. I thought you wouldn’t hurt yourself without these things, but you still hit the wall with your head to hurt yourself. To save you, I didn’t sleep well every day to protect you, fearing that you would kill yourself when I was sleeping.”
Those days were too miserable. People would always choose to forget the most painful days in their lives.
When he mentioned it in detail, my heart ached, but I couldn’t say a word.
I withdrew my hand and wanted to say thanks. But I thought words couldn’t express my gratitude, so I chose to be silent.
He smiled faintly, showing no emotion, but a faint sense of cruelty. “You were getting better and better day by day. I thought that Dennis had hurt you so deeply that you wouldn’t have any love for him anymore. I know that you don’t love me, but so what? Like is so long that we can create love and happiness step by step, but I didn’t expect that you finally left with him.”
He laughed at himself and said sarcastically, “Clara, you really forget the pain after you recovered!”
I didn’t know what to say.
He sneered, “I didn’t mean to hurt you. But Clara, do you know how I made it through those nights after my parents passed away? In my midnight dreams, my mother always told me she felt cold. My father said that he was lonely. In such a big house, I couldn’t fall asleep again when I woke up at night. At that time, I always thought that if you could stay with me as I did to you, then I would not have been so miserable. But every time I woke up in the middle of the night, It was so quiet. I didn’t find anyone around me. ”
He looked at me with his gloomy eyes. “Do you know how it feels to suffer alone in the darkness?”
I pursed my lips. I couldn’t say sorry to him.
“Clara, you don’t know how much I loved you before, and how much I hate you now.”
These words were so shocking. I was stunned on the sofa and couldn’t come to my sense for a long time.
Everything had its price, and we had to pay for it whenever we got something.
In this world, no love or care would appear out of nowhere. It was just an equal exchange of something else. If we enjoyed the love for no reason and did not respond to it, then the uneasiness and guilt would follow us for the rest of our lives.
I knew I wouldn’t be able to face Hank without guilt for the rest of my life.
He was right. He pulled me out of hell. Why didn’t I stay with him and pull him out when he was in hell?
After he left, I sat in the living room and didn’t sleep for the whole night. I didn’t have the right to judge Hank. Every step he took now was just to calm down his resentment.
It was not cold in September in City P, but the cold wind at night was chilly enough to make people difficult to fall asleep.
That night.
I couldn’t sleep well.
I knew Dennis would come to me soon, so I was not surprised when he came.
The nanny would take care of Clarie. I didn’t need to worry about her.
After a short night, Dennis came at seven o’clock the next morning. I was still sitting on the sofa. A few hours had passed, and my body had become stiff and numb.