“But that’s a lie! I love her even before I married her! I love her since we were young and I keep on falling deeper with her everyday.” I said defensively.
“Yes. But did she know that?” She said and smirked.
I was left dumbfounded.
Manang Biding tap my shoulder and went back to the kitchen to prepare our dinner.
While I chose to go to the garden to give myself some time to think.
Am I that insensitive?
I was not able to consider the things that Manang told me because from me past is past, what’s important is now.
Now she loves me and I love her. That’s the only important thing right now.
But now I realize that I should clear the past first to be able to be at peace.
Because with what’s happening now, I feel like there is something missing.
It is not enough for me to know that Mara loves me. Because now, even if she already told me that she did love me, I still feel scared.
I’m scared by the possibility that Mara’s love for my brother will come back and the feelings that she have for me now will not be enough for her to stay.
I didn’t considered that before because we were too young at that time. We were just 10 and 11 years old at that time!
It will be considered as a puppy love.
I heave a heavy sighed. But didn’t my love for Mara started as puppy love?
I was back to reality when I felt Manang Biding’s tap on my shoulder.
“You should call your wife, the dinner is ready.”
I just nodded at her and went straight to our room to call my wife.
When I entered our room I saw my wife sleeping peacefully.
I went to the side of the bed and I sat down quietly.
I look at my wife’s beautiful and peaceful face.
My wife. I love you so so much.
I fix her hair and touch her face.
I gently caresses her face.
I love you wife so much.
I slowly brought my face closer to her.
I moved my lips closer to her. I closed my eyes while I let my lips touch her lips.
I miss you so much wife.
Exactly when I removed my lips from hers and her eyes opened.
“Dinner is ready my wife.” I said in a sweet tone.
She just stares at me with no emotion.
I just let a sighed. She is still cold towards me.
I miss you wife. When can we go back to how we used to be?
We went down quietly.
She went straight to the dining area. She gave Manang a sweet smile and greeted her. She even invited her to join us for dinner.
The dinner was quiet. Occasionally, I glance at Mara but I do not receive a single glance at it.
She just kept on staring at the food. And answers Manang Biding’s questions.
I slightly smile when I saw my wife and Manang Biding is getting along well.
After dinner, my wife said goodbye and went straight to the bedroom to rest.
I went to the garden to think again.
The beautiful and peaceful garden helps me to clear my mind.
Gradually it calms my mood.
I’m just curious.
If Mara will found out that I haven’t been Jana’s boyfriend for a long time, will anything change?
Is the love that I shown her is not enough for her to think that I am just forcing myself to love her?
Now that James is here, can she still say that she loves me?
When we are with the baby, will she stop being cold at me?
Will anything change in our situation, if I will admit to her that my relationship with Jana only lasted for a month or even less?
What do I need to do?
“What are you doing there?”
I was a little surprised when I hear my wife.
I still do not see emotion in her face.
There was a smile on my lips.
“Is my wife worried about me?” Teasingly said.
His forehead furrowed. “Why should I worry about you? You’re just here at home?” She said sarcastically
My shoulder dropped at the answer I heard from her.
“Just thinking.” I answered.
She raised her brow.
“Who are you thinking?” She said frowning.
“Why do you want to know? Are you jealous wife?” I said teasingly.
I felt a little relieved because she started to talk to me now.
“Why will I be jealous?” She ask.
“Because you love me?”
“Love is not jealous.” She just said.
“Maybe you are right, I’m jealous.” She said then smirked.
I frowned.
She was about to leave but I held her hand.
“What did you say?” I asked her.
“Love is not jealous. Maybe you are right, I am jealous.” She repeated what she just said.
I felt pain in my left chest.
“You don’t love me?” I want to clear it with her.
“With the things that happened to me and my daughter, do you think I will still love you?” She said coldly and left me dumbfounded.