He got up to sit beside her. He turned her body to face him and took her hand. “I am… I am in love with you.” He was having a hard time, but he was determined to have it out. He tried to compose himself first. “The thing is, seven years ago I was in a relationship. I loved her, she was my life. We were happy for a while until something happened.” His voice was as low as a whisper now. “She was Solara’s sister. They were inseparable at the time. That’s why he attacked me at the garage the first time we met.”
“So he attacked you because you broke up with his sister seven years ago. Am I getting this right?”
He took her hands in one of his and used the other to tuck her hair behind her ear. “We didn’t break up. She died.” He could say anything after that. She was silent. What could one say at this point? She slid closer to him and laid her head on his shoulder.
“Sorry about that, Solara must have been devastated about it. What was her name?” Talking about it always helped, though she wasn’t sure if he would see it as concern or her prying. She pulled her hand from his hold and placed it on his cheek. He leaned into it.
“Sotera Gomez, she was beautiful in every single way. She was precious.” His head snapped up to look into her eyes, he was afraid that he could have hurt her feelings. How could he not have, here he was going on about his past love, while she sat next to him, genuinely concerned. Her expression didn’t show any hurt feelings or jealousy. He was impressed by her now more than ever.
“That’s why you are holding back because you are in love with her.” She couldn’t compete with the dead it wasn’t a fair fight. Part of her felt ashamed, she had Stephan and the time to be with him, she didn’t.
“What are you thinking about?” He could tell by her far away look, that she had something on her mind. He was nervous; he had to find a way around it. He had to give up the dead and stay with the living. Scarlet was alive; the loud thumping in her chest and the rushing sound in her veins was proof of that.
He got on his knees so that they would be able to be on the same eye level. “Look at me, I’m not perfect, but I keep falling for perfection itself. You and she … are the only good things that have ever come my way in a long time.” For a very long time, He used her chin to raise her head. Her eyes glistened with tears.
“I love her, I won’t lie to you. I do love her, but I love you too, differently. The two of you are different, although at times when I look at you I see her.”
“Gee, thanks.” She was on her feet. She was walking away from him when he caught her arm. She didn’t understand how dark his life was before both of them. Now he just lived in a different kind of darkness.
“I didn’t mean it the way it sounded. I just mean that it is easier for me to love you now than it would have been if I didn’t meet her. Before I met her, I was a different person. I was in a dark place and she pulled me out. I owe her that and I will forever love her for that.” She had her back to him. He wrapped his arms around her waist and leaned her into him.
“Because, of you, I was able to love again. You pulled me out of the hole I existed in for the past seven years. It will take me more than eternity to forget her, especially now that Solara and I are talking again.” He spun her around to face him and kissed the top of her head before he continued.
In a low whisper, he said, “It will take me more than eternity to love you enough.”
He spun her towards the door. He grabbed the car keys from the coffee table and opened the door for them to leave.
“Where are we going? I am not in the mood to go out. So if you don’t mind I would rather stay here.” Her request fell on deaf ears because now she was buckled in on the passenger’s seat. She stared after him as he walked round to the driver’s side.
“I need to show you something, you need to see why you are important to me.” He looked at her, his face twisted as if in pain.
He drove down the lane, heading towards the garage and his apartment. He parked in front of the garage door; he paused for a while before he got out of the car. She got out the same time he did. He walked towards her and stretched his hand out to her. He had a different expression on his face, that Scarlet concluded to be anxiety. She followed him silently. They went to the back and up the stairs to his apartment.
“I want you to see the place I called home before I met you.” He hesitated but it was too late to turn back now.
He unlocked the door and swung it open. He dropped her hand and waited for her to enter. He wanted her to go in first, to get the full effect of the loneliness and misery that existed in that place.
***
She walked in and gasped in shock, it was unbelievable. Both her palms clasped over her mouth, she tried not to cry. The place was a wreck; she couldn’t imagine that anyone who had an ounce of happiness would subject themselves to such misery. There were blankets of dirt on everything. Spiders had taken residence in the four corners of the room. Roaches ran across the room. She couldn’t believe that he would let himself live like this.
“Why…” She cleared her throat trying to control her emotions. “Why would you let yourself live like this?”
***
He finally entered the apartment, he stood behind her, and he left a large distance between them. “This is how I was before you, I will admit that I was much worse when I met Sotera, but that’s what I mean when I say the two of you are alike. You both saved me, from darkness and misery. I spend less and less time here every time am with you. The void in my life, you fill it every single day with each new gift you give me. Your friendship, your concern, and the attention you give me…”
He was next to her now, she didn’t notice him approaching her slowly; she was captured by the sorrow in his eyes and couldn’t drop his gaze. When he was next to her, he took both her hands, and now there was a light in his eyes.
“…the love you have given me, and continue to show me every single second I spend with you. You are my life, and I am happy now. I don’t want to come back to this.”
Tears rolled down her cheeks and over her wide smile. “Let’s get out of here before something jumps out and bites us.” She could feel his chest vibrate as he laughed. As he closed the door she hoped that was the last she had seen of it.
When they got home, Scarlet walked to the kitchen and started fiddling around with the dishes. A part of her was mad and disappointed with herself. The ride back was silent; they were both engrossed in their thoughts. He was here with her, and nothing else mattered, but something else was gnawing at her.
“What were you before… before she saved you, as you put it? I can’t imagine you being anything bad. I always thought you seemed withdrawn and alone. You look like someone who has been dealing with a lot of demons and right now I don’t think your past love is one of them.” She was about to lift herself onto the counter, when Stephan did it, so easily like she didn’t weigh a thing.
“I don’t want to go into specifics, not now anyway, but let’s just say it wasn’t something that you would approve of.” He tried to avoid her gaze.
“That dodgy? I have a lot to thank her for, don’t I.” she had an amused look on her face. She circled her arms around his neck, she didn’t want any more bad news, and it was enough for the night. Anything else would have to wait.
Her light mood put him at ease. “Uh-huh! You could say that.”
“That’s fine with me; I’m more interested in who you are now and not before. The person you are now is what I care about. When you are ready you’ll tell me about it until then, let’s not think about it.”
It was difficult not to consider the news he had received earlier on in the day. He would have to warn her of the impending danger before anything happened that would catch him off guard. He would tell her but not tonight, he was happy and he would hold onto that feeling for as long as he could. She snuggled onto his chest and he tightened his arms around her. He stood there for a while running his fingers up and down her spine. This soothed her to the point of sleep. She was drifting in and out of sleep. In an attempt to stay awake she pulled herself out of his arms and sat upright.
Stephan could see that she was battling against sleep. He pulled her legs to wrap around his waist, flung her arms around his neck, and lifted her off the counter.
“Where are you taking me?” She didn’t want to waste the rest of the night sleeping; she wanted to stay up a bit longer.
“I’m taking you to bed.” He almost lost his grip when she pushed against his chest to look up to his face. Reading the look on her face he decided to rephrase his words, “You are half asleep. I am taking you upstairs to your bed so that you can get some sleep. Why? What did you think I meant.” He chuckled once as he went up the stairs.
Part of her was relieved, the other a bit disappointed. What did she expect they weren’t emotionally ready to take that step? He left her alone, to change into her nightdress. Scarlet went through her draw determined to find something that wouldn’t look like her grandmother wore. She grabbed a lace strap top and shorts, she thought that was suitable enough. She opened the door for him, when he walked in she was pleased with his expression.
“Maybe I should crush on the couch tonight. You look pretty tired and I don’t want to disturb you.”
She wasn’t about to let him chicken out, she turned down the bed before she got in between the sheets. She ignored his earlier statement and invitingly patted on the bed. He cleared his throat before he approached the bed.
“Hold me as I sleep. Please.” How could he deny her such a simple request? He sat on the bed to take off his shoes and lay back on the bed.
She cuddled into his arms and he could help but pull her closer to him. She dozed off with a smile on her face; she pleased with her little victory. This would be a night to remember. He watched her sleep, and at that time he was more hopeful than ever that everything would turn out fine.