PHOENIX
I’m grinning like an idiot even if she left me here astonished. I just confessed my feelings for her, and it took me all the encouragement in the world.
It’s not that easy, especially for a guy who has an ego larger than the universe but for her; forget that fucking ego and it’s time to man up!
It didn’t bother me even if she didn’t say it back-she doesn’t have to because based on her reaction I know she cares about me or at least she feels something for me somehow and that pays so much for my effort.
“What are you doing here, Phoenix?” I crawl down her bed after stripping off my clothes.
She’s already curled up in bed with a blanket tucked up under her chin. She’s still looked sick though, but she’s not puking anymore. I want to strangle Abby for letting her eat that food with mushrooms, but I want to hug her and thank her at the same time.
If not because of that, I wasn’t able to tell Samantha about my feelings, and she’s not back here in my arms right now.
And Jesus, she kissed me.
“Sleeping beside you. What does it look like to you, Samantha?” I ask, slipping myself inside her blanket.
“I know, smart-ass, that’s why I’m asking. There are twenty-three rooms in this house, and you have your own. Why not go back to your room and plug in your headset,” she says, pulling her blanket away from me.
I tighten the grip. “Hush. Just sleep.” I try covering myself, but she doesn’t let go of the blanket
“Not until you are out.” She faces me and glares.
“Are you kicking me out?”
“Yes, Einstein!”
I chuckle. “Not a chance, smurf!” She abruptly sits up straight on the bed
“Why smurf? Do I look blue to you?” She looks amused.
I’m still lying down and run my palm on her smooth expose leg.
“Just lie back down, my love. It’s almost morning. We are leaving early.”
She doesn’t move.
Samantha is back! Thank God because I missed her sassiness.
“I’m not coming to your apartment. What’s in there, anyway?” She tries to remove my hand on her leg.
I grab her hand and plant it on my lips, then kiss her knuckles one by one. I look up at her and give her a smile.
“Fine, I will move into your apartment building.”
She pulls her hand quickly then scowls.
“What? Am I not allowed to move in there too? FYI, Princess, trust me we will end up together on one roof, in one bed for the rest of our lives. So, I’m moving in there.” I tell her with confidence, then I smirk.
If she only knew.
“I hate you!” she exclaims and lies back beside me silently.
“I don’t believe you,” I whisper in her ear that makes her shiver. Wrapping my arm around her waist, I tangled my legs with hers. “Night, princess.” She takes my hand and kisses it.
She doesn’t have to say anything. That’s enough for me. For the first time in forever, I might sleep soundly tonight.
***
“I have laundry to wash, apartment to clean, and manuscripts to read. So, no!” she says while securing her seat belt in my passenger seat. We are still fighting about her coming to my apartment since we woke up this morning.
She even refused for me to send her back to her apartment, but Mom interrupted us and she had to agree with Mom because I knew she was ashamed to say no to my mother.
This time, I win.
“Fine. You are so stubborn now, Samantha. And just so you know, it won’t scare me away.” I pull out from the King’s mansion.
I feel desperate and disappointed. I sigh deeply in defeat.
“Good,” she replies.
“Is that it? You want me to chase you, beautiful?”
“I didn’t say that!” she snaps.
“Aren’t you and him getting back together, Samantha?”
She stiffens. Her face and her ears turn red. Is she embarrassed?
“It feels like I am cheating on you rather than I am cheating on Tyler. He is nothing but treated well since we were back together, then suddenly, you came along and everything turned upside down.”
My nose flares. I don’t know why I feel bad and guilty at the same time.
“Why did you take him back?” I ask grouchily.
“He proved himself, Phoenix!” she exclaims.
I sigh deeply. “But you still have feelings for me. Isn’t it unfair for him?”
She faces me, and I can’t help but glance at her. “I am trying hard to get rid of you, you, asshole! You broke my heart!” Samantha is shaking with anger. I can’t say another, I have to focus back on the road. It’s killing me. I thought when I confessed, everything between us was going to be okay, but it was wrong.
“Every day I prayed for you to show up at my door, at least explained to me why. I never stopped believing that you will come back to me before I took back Tyler, but that day never came.” She pauses. “I always thought of you every time I went to sleep and every time I woke up. You may be broke up with me, but there was still a piece of you that I couldn’t hate. Your heart, Phoenix.”
It’s fucking killing me.
She wipes her face. I grab her hand and squeeze it. I press it against my lips and kiss it. I wish I can turn back the time, but it’s impossible. Maybe this is just a test of how far I can go with our relationship.
“I’m so sorry, Samantha. Take me back, and let me prove to you that I regret letting you go once, and I’m not letting you go again. I never stop thinking of you too, and I never stop loving you. Give me a chance, please?” I say it sincerely while looking at her.
“Where is the I will chase you to the end of this fucking earth?” she asks and bursts into a laugh.
I laugh with her too. Jesus, this woman is certainly the death of me. For the first time since I see her again, and I’m back to normal.
It feels so good to laugh with her again.
“Uh-huh! So, you want a chase, Princess?” I say, smirking.
“It would be fun, Phoenix!” she replies cheerfully.
“Fine! Let me chase you, but-”
She snaps her head at me.
“If… If I will catch you, I will never let you go, and this time, you will be mine. Mine. Forever.”
She enlarges her eyes as if with surprise, then grins at me.
We arrive back at her apartment.
The last time I am here was when I was drunk, and I almost beat Tyler into pulp. Now it feels like normal, but I can’t help to feel jealous about what they shared together in this apartment.
“I can help you clean and wash your laundry, princess. Does your ex still have things in here?” I ask while wandering around her pad.
My apartment is almost three times bigger than this and almost as big as Seb’s penthouse.
“You can go home. I am sure you have works to do. Thanks for driving me back, though.” She carries a hamper bag full of dirty laundry.
“Why not just send that to the laundromat?” I ask, pointing to her dirty clothes.
“Why don’t you go home?” she banters back.
My lips curve to smile. “You’re having fun kicking me out?”
She chuckles, “Because you can’t get what I’m trying to tell you, Phoenix.”
“What are you trying to tell me, Samantha?”
She sighs, “I’m not comfortable with you here in this apartment until I clear everything of what I shared with Tyler.”
I take a deep breath.
She is doing it for my own good, and I am so stupid not to get it. I bite my lip then I nod.
“Stay in my apartment and let me handle this. I will ask somebody to clean your apartment.”
She looks surprised. “No! I will do it on my own. There’s nothing much here anyway.”
I groan in frustration. “My love, please, stay with me just for a day. I promise to keep my hands off of you. You will stay in another room. I work most of the time in my office anyway, and you will go to work too, so we don’t see much.”
She slumps herself down to her couch dramatically. “You won’t stop till I agree, will you?”
I grin, shaking my head.
“Let me take my things, but I’m not gonna have sex with you,” she says, biting her lip with her mischievous smile.
“Not yet, princess, but you can always change your mind!” I yell.
She laughs from her room.
Fuck yeah!
I take the duffel bag from her hand as soon as she emerges from her bedroom door.
“Let’s go. Anything else, princess?”
She shakes her head with a cunning smile on her face.
“Why do I feel like there’s something behind that smile, Samantha? Are you playing with me now?” I ask with furrowed brows.
She laughs her ass out loud and slaps my ass playfully.
“Kinky!”
She laughs again. “I am just teasing you, Phoenix.”
She’s so beautiful. Her eyes glimmer with happiness, and that’s my plan to see her smiling like this again every day.
“Whatever.”
***
After our tour in my apartment, I walk her to her room-the fourth room. I never let anyone use this room even I have guests. I don’t know why, but I felt to keep it that way or maybe I am just waiting for someone who is worthy to have this room. It is a little bit bigger than my master bedroom.
It has a small balcony that shows the perfect view of the city lights. Perfect for Samantha when she gets bored-I can imagine her sitting there and read a good book or sipping the finest wine.
“This is huge, Phoenix. Can’t I just have that room on the left?” She wanders around the room.
It has king size bed with walk-in closets with a closet island, an adjacent bathroom all in the same cream, and dark red color that matches with the curtains that cover the wall to ceiling glasses windows. It has a set of couches and a small coffee table closer to the door that leads to the balcony and she has not seen it yet.
“You can’t complain, sweetheart. You are my guest, and it’s rude to resist an offer.” I say playfully.
She laughs. “As if you’ll listen to me. You are just very kind and I bothered you too much already.”
I take her hand to follow me and press the button on the remote on her nightstand. The curtains slide open. She gasps and covers her mouth with her free hand.
“I want you to have this room because I know you will love it. I want you to enjoy your stay as much as I want you to stay here for myself. I can see you sitting on that balcony with a book in your hand,” I tell her and point at the door.
She releases my hand and opens the door. “Wow! Okay, I change my mind!” She shrieks with excitement.
My heart flutters. God! Woman, you’re sure the death of me. I want to shout her name on that balcony to let the people know how much I love her. I know I am pussy-whipped! That’s official.
I can have plaque and statue as number one pussy-whipped or have a wall of pussy-fame in this damn country, and I don’t fucking care. I love her with all my fucking heart and my fucking senses.
“You are not listening!” She shakes me.
I blink. “What?”
She groans, “I said I should have brought my book. I bought a psychological thriller, and I wasn’t able to start reading it.”
I kiss the top of her head and hug her. “I love you so much, Samantha.”
She looks up at me and smiles, then hugs me back.
“I will give you books,” I say, breaking the hug.
“Nope. You don’t have to buy for me.”
I grin sheepishly, “Guilty. But I already bought them for you.”
Her eyes grow big.
I kiss her forehead and I walk away. I carry her box of books that I placed in my office.
“What is that?” she asks when she notices me placing the box on the small coffee table.
“Books?” I answer.
She opens the box and stops. Her brows furrow, then she stands straight from her bending posture.
“Will you please explain why all these have my home mailing address?” she asks, pointing her finger to the box.
I shrug and feel I’m running out of words. How am I going to explain this to her? I wasn’t thinking about it when I took the box from my office.
“Phoenix?” she asks in a low voice and swallows hard. “Did you send all these to my home?”
I nod slowly and bite my lip. I look down at the box and for the first time, I don’t know what to say.
“But why?”
I clear my throat and take a deep breath. “I want you to know that I’ve never been gone that you’re always in my heart no matter what happened between us. I sent a book every day to your home as a message that I have reasons, that I never hurt you intentionally, that I care about you, that I love you every day.”
Her tears fall from her eyes, but she remains silent.
“The first book I sent I know it didn’t reach you. I have a message written on it. After three days, it was returned to me. I didn’t stop though, I’m still sending a book every day. The post office called me after a month and they all returned the books to me. Your mom sent them all back to the post office.”
She shakes to cry. I get closer to hug her, and she hugs me back instantly.
“I was busy hating you when all you did is loving me. If I only know I-”
I hush her. “You don’t have to say anything. It’s all my fault, princess. It’s all mine.”
She picks up one book and opens it from the package. She flips open the paperback and begins reading.
Day 24
My princess,
You are always in my thought every day.
In my eyes.
In my ears.
In my nose.
In my heart.
In my skin.
And in my dreams.
Hot tease,
P