I leave the room after listening to her and giving her the attention I should give her a month ago. I put Teresa to bed. I will never stop blaming myself for not noticing the small details, those crossed glances, those involuntary movements, the suspicion and hatred my sister had for my ex-boyfriend. Now I know.
I want hell itself to swallow me up and take me for a sinner since I can’t imagine what that man could have done if I hadn’t arrived at the lake that day if I hadn’t arrived on time.
Teresa told me that that evening, after six o’clock, she threw stones in the lake while she was thinking about getting out of town. She felt that this place was not for her. She told me how Lucian tried to kiss her several times. Then, she calmly asked him to stop, as he was with me and, more than anything else, she would never have this kind of interest in him. I arrived soon after, just as she got him off her. Lucian claimed she provoked him. The rage in me grows by the second.
According to him, because of the alcohol, he pounced on Teresa and tried to take advantage.
It breaks my soul to imagine my sister’s face, grieving and in pain, together with the recurring thought of Lucian’s hands on her body. An image that can never be erased from her mind.
She’s not to blame for me picking on a degenerate.
My little sister wouldn’t lie to me. If she said he tried before, that’s because he did.
I leave the house. I need fresh air.
I walk unnoticed through the dark streets of the town. I put on nothing, but my dress and the cold make me bristle all over.
I kneel on the shores of Lake Tenno. I don’t care if I get my feet or my clothes wet. Tonight, I want to disappear. Tomorrow I will marry an obscure and unknown man, one who carries a burden, and it is not his son; it is his dead wife and the pain this must cause him.
I hear a noise in one of the bushes and get up quickly. I can hardly see anything. Only the moonlight illuminates the surroundings with small flashes. I hear the rustling again, but this time accompanied by footsteps.
“Who is there?” I immediately ask.
I know everyone in Canale di Tenno, even beyond the town. I can say that I will be able to recognize a face or two.
“Hello?” I repeat when I see that no one answers me.
I fold my arms, hug my chest and try to calm my rapidly beating heart.
I don’t like games.
I feel someone is watching me.
I’m terrified at the thought of him being Lucian. I can’t help but think that he may lash out at me for the blow I gave him. It’s just that the rage was unbearable.
“Whoever you are, come out immediately. Let me see you.” My confidence begins to fizzle, and it comes through in my voice.
I know my sister would run from the place. That would be smarter. Instead, my feet don’t seem to want to obey the command my brain sends them.
A man comes out from behind the bushes and strolls towards me.
He is barefoot. I know this because I appraise him warily. He’s wearing a shirt, which, because of the darkness, I can’t tell if it’s dark or not. He is tall, much taller than I am, even taller than Lucian is.
He approaches me like a gazelle, and I don’t even move my nostrils to breathe.
I seriously want to vanish from the place.
This man seems dangerous, dark, tempting.
His scent of forest and cinnamon fills my nostrils.
Something throbs inside me and makes me want to touch him. Not only that, but I also want to taste him.
What’s wrong with me? A stranger whose face I can’t even make out makes me want to kiss him without even speaking? I think my night is worse than I imagined.
“It’s late for a young woman to be at the lake.” His voice… Oh, what a voice!
The seductive tone of a sexy night broadcaster. I have no idea where that thought came from, but it’s the truth.
I instantly wish I had him in my ear, whispering words full of pleasure and desire.
“I’m not that young,” I justify myself to take the weight off his words, “I know how to defend myself, so don’t even think about coming any closer.”
“I didn’t mean to scare you.” I can feel how my knees are trying to knock me off my feet.
But who is this man? Why does he have such a dangerous vis?
“You didn’t scare me.”
“I saw you stand up like there were a hundred crabs up your ass.”
My mouth starts to go dry.
Is it my imagination, or did he talk about my ass? That’s the only part I managed to understand.
“Do you come here often?” he inquires as he takes another step towards me.
I remain static on the edge of the lake with my arms crossed and my heart rampaging about to burst out of my chest. I have a steady ringing in my ears. Still, I don’t run. I can’t take my eyes off him.
“I come to this lake almost every day. It’s helpful for me to forget.”
“What do you want to forget?”
I don’t know why I said such a thing. It’s a fallacy. Or maybe not.
Why do I come to the lake? It’s the only place where no one bothers me, or judges me, or controls me. Space, where I can be me and no one decides for me. I have been coming here two nights in a row, two nights in a row where I sit and wait for the sunrise to see the sun reflected on the mountains; it rests its rays on the fine, delicate water. I stay here until the cold makes me come back.
I came earlier this particular night.
“I don’t know how I ended up here today,” I admit. “I come almost every night. But, today… today I found out something, and it seems like I ended up here unintentionally anyway.”
The man takes a step closer. The moon illuminates his features, not enough to see him clearly, but enough to notice that he wears a beard and that his eyes are clear.
“And you come here a lot? Are you from around here? I don’t think I know you.” Not that I’m the most observant, but there isn’t a single inhabitant in this town I don’t recognize, even without light.
“I’m from somewhere nearby, but my heart belongs to this lake.”
“I don’t think I’ve seen you, and I come almost every day,” I whisper. My voice is captivated by his nearness. We are divided by only two steps; I can almost touch his chest and feel his warmth.
I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but this man awakened something in me that I’ve never felt before.
“It seems we weren’t meant to be… until now.”