Gunnar wrapped his other arm around me, pulling me flush to his chest and holding me close. The tears continued to fall, now soaking his shirt, as Gunnar consoled me. I didn’t want to believe this was true, that anything of this had happened. Within the short span of a few days, I had lost family, friends, an enemy, my wolf and now, my mate. I couldn’t deal with this; I didn’t want to deal with this; I just wanted the pain to go away.
I reared back from Gunnar, sniffling and wiping the tears away. “I’d like to be alone for a while, please,” I said quietly.
Gunnar sighed. “I don’t think that’s a good idea; you shouldn’t be alone right now.” He told me, worry in his tone.
I closed my eyes. “Please, Gunnar, I need to try and deal with everything on my own. I also need to have a shower.” I told him, hoping he would just give me some time to myself.
I looked up at him, and he was sitting there silently, fighting with himself to give me what I was asking for, but he reluctantly agreed, “Fine, I’ll leave you be for a while, but I’ll be back later on, to check on you.” Gunnar said, his tone holding promise.
I nodded my head. “Thank you,” I replied, glad that he was respecting my wishes, just as he always did.
Gunnar stood up from the bed and stared down at me intently. “If you need me or anything at all, just holler; I’ll be just down the hallway. So, don’t hesitate to call for me; I don’t care what it’s for, understood?” At the moment, he reminded me of our father, and I chuckled inwardly at the resemblance.
I nodded my head. “Yes, thank you,” I told him, giving him a reassuring smile.
He turned on his heel and walked to the door, hesitantly opening it. Gunnar shot me one more glance before leaving the room and closing the door behind him. Once he was gone, I laid down on the bed, letting more tears stream down my face again. I screamed internally at the anger and grief that was consuming my mind and body.
I sucked in a deep breath, trying to calm myself and decided to have a shower. I got up from the bed and started walking to the bathroom but stopped, my eyes drifting towards the balcony doors. I walked over to the doors, whipping them open and stepped outside. There was a storm brewing in the sky, and it was now raining. I stood there, the rain soaking my body, and I fell to my knees. As I rubbed my hands down my face, feeling more overwhelmed and distraught by the second, I looked to the sky and asked why?
Just as I expected, I got no response, no answers, and I felt more lost than I ever have in my life. I closed my eyes and slowly stood to my feet, wrapping my arms around myself. I walked back into the bedroom, kicked the doors closed, then went into the bathroom, took my clothes off, and turned the shower on, allowing the water to flow.
As I stepped under the stream, the water was warm, easing some of my anxiety. I sat on the cold tile floor, bent my legs up before wrapping my arms around them, and then rested my head on my knees—the warm water cascading down my body and wrapping me in its warmth. I stayed like that for a while, just letting the dark emotions wash away, even for this short bit of time.
After what felt like an hour, I decided to get out of the shower. I wrapped myself in a towel and reached for a bathrobe, drying myself off first before putting it on. I walked out of the bathroom and over to the bed, staring down at it apprehensively, not liking the emptiness. I took off the towel and put on a shirt, as well as some underwear.
I laid down on the bed, covering myself with the blanket and facing his side of the bed. I stared at the empty space, missing his big ass, hogging the bed. I attempted to shut off my thoughts as I closed my eyes, but that was pointless. My mind continued to race as I thought about everything that had happened recently, and it was all too much.
Suddenly, I heard the bedroom door open, and I sighed, knowing Gunnar was checking up on me again. I didn’t move, not having the energy to do so. “Gunnar, I told you I wanted to be alone for a while,” I said, but no response, only the sound of soft footsteps approaching the bed. I groaned internally at his shitty listening skills, then the bed dipped down, and I could feel him sitting next to me now. Growing irritated with him, I went to roll over, only to be caged between two strong, muscular arms and shivers coursed through my body as I stared into those familiar alluring, green eyes.
He stared into my eyes, and a smirk spread across his face. “Did you really think you would get rid of me that easy, love?” Cain said, and I didn’t know if I wanted to slap him or kiss him. Instead, I reached my hand up, caressing his cheek softly, and Cain closed his eyes, leaning into my touch before a low growl rumbled from his chest.
Numerous emotions started to rise within me, sadness, happiness, anger, love and lust, all of them consuming me. Then, without thinking, I pulled my hand back and slapped him across the face. “I thought I lost you. Don’t ever fucking do that to me again.” I shouted, angry at him for sacrificing himself as he did.
The impact of my slap had caused his head to turn to the side slightly. He turned his head back in my direction, grinning mischievously, and I rolled my eyes at him. Cain then gripped my wrists tightly and pinned them above my head.
He bent down, his lips brushing against my ear. “Now, now love, don’t be so feisty or do I need to teach you a lesson so soon?” Cain whispered, his voice deep yet soft.