Dale
It was not after I tucked Mable in for her bedtime, I suddenly felt the need to check my phone again. The whole day, I couldn’t shake my feelings for her. I didn’t even read the text that I got from Natalie until this afternoon when I was waiting for Amanda’s text.
God! that woman was a mistake, I shouldn’t even fuck her. But I was upset with myself that day, my family was such a mess. It was clear why I distanced myself from them, and I was so full of alcohol that night when I finally went to Natalie’s room and fucked her.
“You and I are going to be the best couple Dale, our families are meant to be together. You should go back and take over the business, your brothers needed you. You are the true leader of the family.” She was stroking my ego, and because of that I fucked her, I fucked her good. But when I came back to my room I was reminded of Ava, it was because of her social status that my family rejected her. Until the day she died, she was never accepted by my parents, and because of that I never did forgive them.
Dale, I can’t wait to see you this weekend. I’ll be waiting anxiously for our alone time. Miss you so much. Natalie.
Shit! this is why I shouldn’t have fucked her.
I decided to text her back, I need to cool her down and cut her off for good.
Natalie, what happened between us was a mistake. I will be there with Mable, there wouldn’t be any alone time between us. Ever again. I’m sorry. Dale.
I hit send and browse for any text message from Amanda. None. That was when I decided to go to her apartment.
“Hey Tom, would you mind chilling at my place and babysit Mable for a couple of hours? she’s already tucked in, I need to go to Amanda’s.” I gave him my keys, knowing he would say yes since this wasn’t his first time babysitting Mable.
“Yeah sure boss, just take your time…”
“Mm hhm… no boys while I’m gone,” I said casually making him gasped, but then regained his composure back seconds later.
“hahaha… cute boss, like I’m one of those teenage girls that babysit and invite boys over pizzas” he laughed nervously.
“Mm.. hm… whatever you think suits you Tom, I won’t judge.” I waved at him and said goodbye. He still thinks I didn’t notice all his lingering stares to Doug and their long cigarette breaks that they took.
I finally reached her apartment, but then stop as I get out of the elevator and saw a man in front of her door.
What the…
He looked at me and smile, then he walks away after he slipped on a piece of paper under her door.
“My wife…” he showed me his wedding ring.
“…. we’re having a fight and she refuses to go home.” He shrugged and walked passed me straight into the elevator. I tried to remain calm and nodded to him, and act like I was one of her neighbors. My heart was beating faster, and I was boiling inside with a need to punch someone in the face.
Was this why she’s so fucking busy?
Why did Angelica set me up with her? knowing that she’s married already?
I waited until he gets into the elevator and took the exit to the stairs. I was feeling used like I was one of her cheap thrills, her one of many one night stands.
Get a grip dude, this is why you need to slow down. You just met the woman.
You need to talk to Angelica.
But I was clouded by anger, my better judgment seemed far from my grasps as I took the stairs down and headed to the bar two blocks away from her place. It was not until a couple of hours later when I was numbed that I decided to walk back to my place.
At least the alcohol will help me sleep better.
“Hey, boss…” Tom greeted me playfully, but then went silent when he saw my face. He had worked with me for the longest time and knew not to ask me questions when I look like crap and smell like alcohol.
“Okay then… I’ll go back downstairs and close up for you.” He got up from the sofa and walk out the door, he looked at me one more time waiting for me to spill, but I just shook my head at him.
I peeked at Mable’s room, my heart softens as I saw her sweet face. I kissed her temple and pulled up her blanket. “I love you kiddo, always.”
That night I picked up an old photo album, it had been years since I opened it. I looked at her beautiful face, I try to remember the warmth of her smile, her laughter, her hugs even her silliness. But it had slowly faded away from my memories.
“Oh, Ava… I wish you could see our little Mable.” I missed her being with me, but truthfully I was feeling the guilt cause I couldn’t even remember her anymore. I tried to shuffle my memories of her, but all came back as shards. I could remember bits and pieces of how she smiles, but I couldn’t feel her warmth anymore.
Back then, the first few months were the worst for me. Every day I wished that I could stop feeling the hurt of losing her. Every night I would remember her caresses, her kisses and it all made me die inside little by little.
Until it slowly fades away years later, and then the agony came back. The guilt as I feel that she might be disappointed, cause I had forgotten every little thing about her. I sighed and close the photo album, then retreated back to my bedroom.
I stripped to my pants and finally drifted off to sleep. That night for the first time in years, I dreamed of her.
“Dale my love, please be happy for Mable, I will always love you, my darling husband. But you need to be happy…”
I woke up with a headache, it was still dawn outside. I decided to make myself a cup of coffee.
I wanted to be happy Ava, but I don’t think I can.
But I do know the one thing that I could do, I could make Mable happy. I wiped the tear that slips from my eyes. Sometimes I feel like I needed to scream my heart out, I was feeling the burden like I was about to break. And that was usually the time when I would be a gym freak for the next couple of months.
That morning I went straight to the gym after I drop off Mable to school. I exhausted myself, and let all my worries go and built up my inner wall higher.
I’m a man, I will be tough, I will be strong for Mable.
I didn’t wait nor check my phone for Amanda’s messages again. I decided to let her matter go, at least until I see Angelica again. She would probably ask me about Amanda, then I would tell her about the husband.
I was done with Amanda, though there was some uneasiness about it, I forced myself to put the matter to the back of my mind.