Yeah yeah… I’m almost 30 and still acts like a bitchy teenager, but at least I’m open minded. He doesn’t like pda and he gets nervous anytime we are alone.
I mean, when we kiss- it seems like he wants to rip my clothes off and give it to me there and then, but he holds back and that frustrating for me. His self-control is both fascinating and disappointing at times.
“Is that all you want?… but I want to have a relationship with you that have little or nothing to do with sex, at least until we are married. I don’t want sex to be all that defines this relationship. I want companionship, partnership and I want a soulmate. I want you to be able to let you heal me and I’ll heal you too. I want a connection stronger and deeper than sex… I want to be able to make love to you without taking your clothes off. I want to have your heart and hold it. So, if you think taking the lead can help me actualize all these, then I give you all the control.” He confessed with a little bit of brokenness, as he looked straight in my eyes.
I felt tears roll down my cheek as I hugged him and held him tightly. The relationship he describes is like none I’ve ever had before. What he wants is pure, true and genuine, and he wants it with me.
Why me?
I’m a mess when it comes to matters of the heart, I don’t understand it at all. That’s why I care little or less about what my dream of a perfect relationship should be.
And I love being in control and the heart loses control to others, that’s why I’ve never truly entered a relationship with my heart before.
But Jeffery chose me. He could’ve chosen any other mellow, cool-headed girl out there- but he chose me.
So, for his sake I want to try the kind of relationship he described, even if it means I have to lose control to him.
I released him from my embrace and he wiped away my wet cheeks with a smile. I handed him the laptop from the side stool and he placed it on his laps as I climbed down.
I sat beside him and laid my head on his shoulder while he gave me a peck on my forehead gently and sweetly.
I may not know what story he had in his past, but it must have had a lot to do with decision about what kind of relationship he wanted.
“Have you spoken to your brother yet?” He asked casually.
Why would I want to speak with Daniel? It’s been almost a week since he went back to Shanghai and the last words he said to me were, ‘you have to let Markian make decisions about his marriage’.
That ungrateful son-of-a-gun always defends Livy- so if he’ll keep doing that, then I don’t want to speak to him.
“No, not since Markian’s accident, why?” I requested.
Why does Jeffery bring up Daniel time and again in our little space. He’s been asking me about Livy lately too and it’s starting to become annoying.
“You should call him and talk with him. It’s not proper for siblings to fight. I mean- if they are not there to pick you up when you fall, who then can you relay on?” He stated candidly.
“Is that all? What about Livy? Don’t you have a little speech drafted out to me about her too? Obviously their feelings seem to matter to you than mine does” I ranted out in anger and frustration.
Why should I be the one to call first? Daniel was the one who betrayed my trust first. He was the one who went on to fight for my impeachment, so why isn’t he the one calling to apologize.
Obviously, I don’t matter to him at all.
“I’m just trying to help, babe… I’m not your enemy, neither is Daniel nor Livy. Your enemy is your fear of loss, and we all have one.” He clarified, easing my already tensed nerves.
Jeffery really wasn’t my enemy, so he really doesn’t deserve to be yelled at by me.
“I’m sorry I got angry at you. It’s just that everyone seems to think that I was in the wrong with how I handled the situation with Livy. It’s like everybody is trying to ignore the fact that Livy is mentally unstable and tried to kill Markian.” I confessed sadly.
I’m not a monster or a home-wrecker. I’m just trying my best to keep those kids out of trouble, especially that of the heart- for as long as I can.
Being a Winfrey, it wasn’t so easy for me to find people I could trust let alone fall in love with. I really did believe Livy was the one for Markian until she poisoned him to gain control of Castlehill.
“But she didn’t…” he replied, surprising me a little.
But she didn’t?- What is that suppose to mean?
Would it have made more sense to everyone if she had succeeded?
“What?” I asked, unsure of what he really meant.
“I’m just saying… if Livy really wanted to hurt Markian and take over Castlehill, do you honestly think that she would fail? She is Judy Luthel’s daughter after all, and she have ties with the Verc. So, if she wanted Markian dead, he would have been dead.” he stated confidently.
“Who knows? Maybe she made a mistake and was unsuccessful in her plan. She is crazy after all and missing one or 2 details in a plan is inevitable” I answered, pretty convinced that Livy’s failure to kill Markian was a miracle.
“Maybe you are wrong about that, just as you are wrong about Daniel. Just because she has DID doesn’t mean she is some kind of psycho. 3weeks ago your brother whom you seem to hate these days saved your shares at S. Group from being hassled by sharks on the board. He protected you even though it meant you’ll be able to use those shares to get your position back at the company, anytime you want it.” He testified casually.
What? This is news to me.
Daniel did that?
Oh no! And the stupid kid have been calling me but I’ve been ignoring his calls.
“Daniel really did that?… Why would he do such a thing for me after I hassled him so much and even tried to sabotage him at the company?” I asked almost in tears.
Could it really be that I was wrong about everything?
“Markian told me… Your shares are safe and you didn’t even need to marry me to protect them because, you’ve got a wonderful brother who would go through hell for you. That’s what family do” he stated vehemently, and I quickly grabbed my phone to call Daniel- but he didn’t pick up.
I was disappointed and my pride had deflated at this point. I can’t go around making these kind of mistakes, I’m Heather Winfrey.