MINNESOTA
Markian (2weeks ago)
I just sat there on the bench at the dog park watching as people passed to and fro, some walking their dog while others were either playing fetch or running with their dogs.
It was a fascinating scenery and I kind of understood why this place was Livy’s favorite place. It’s truly a peaceful, calm and happy place, good for relaxing and finding inspiration.
Earlier today, I had left Livy a note to meet me at this dog park before 11am, and since it was a Saturday, i figures we would both free from the office.
It’s not been easy taking to Livy ever since she found out our marriage had to be at least a year old before we can file for a divorce.
And even though we both work at Castlehill now, I hardly ever get to see her or even have lunch with her.
At home, the moment Jeffery left Minnesota, Livy started staying in the guest room far down the east wing of the mansion.
She never comes down for breakfast or dinner and always insist we use different cars to work. Things are worse than they were now, so no matter how much I try to make up for all I’ve done wrong, my efforts comes out futile.
We are married but we are no less than strangers in one big mansion. Rumors are already spreading among the maids that our marriage was one of convenience, and the longer Livy puts on her act, the more convincing these rumors become.
How much did I hurt her for her to turn so dark and full of secrets. It pains me to think that I did this to her, and lately I’d lost all hope in trying to get her back, until I heard her few nights ago.
Few Nights ago
I had just finished some office work I took home with me. I heading back to my room from my study which was just few steps away from the guest room Livy now stays in.
I have been bringing work back home lately because, it gives me the slightest satisfaction to know that in the next room from my study is where my wife sleeps.
Sleep these days keep eluding me as I just space-out all night till dawn, but tonight, I was pretty exhausted and was determined to rest when I heard soft whimpers coming out of Livy’s room.
I wondered what she was doing awake and why she was whimpering like a lost puppy.
Without much thinking of invasion of privacy, which she had warned me severally not to invade, I swiftly opened the door to her room and rushed inside.
I was loud- enough to wake anyone from their sleep, but when I got to her on the bed, her eyes were still shut.
She was covered in beads of sweat and her lips were trembling as she kept muttering words I couldn’t hear quite clearly nor understand.
The blanket covering her was almost half way on the floor with the other half barely covering her bare legs and thighs.
She was shaking her head like she was convulsing, flipping it from side to side and I didn’t know what to do.
My brain and body froze for a brief moment, letting the most frightening image in front of me sink in.
My heart raced ferociously as my mind keep repeating the worst words that it could recall from my painful childhood, ‘I’m sorry- we’ve lost her’.
But I was soon snapped back to reality, so I quickly rushed to her side and held her bare shoulders in an attempt to keep her steady.
I felt her skin- she was running a fever and only God knew just how high it was.
“Livy? Livy, can you hear me?!” I called out, but she didn’t open her eyes.
The words she was muttering were becoming more audible but, they didn’t make much sense. So I put a call to the family doctor asking him to come over immediately.
It was already 2:34am I think, and the doctor wouldn’t take long to arrive but, he told me to first relieve her of any heavy clothing she had on, place a cool wet towel on her forehead and keep her hydrated until he gets here.
The maids were not live-in maids, so there was no one around to get me a cool towel, but there was a jug of water by the side of her bed.
Since, she wasn’t wearing any heavy clothes, I went and got a cool wet towel from her bathroom, drew a chair closer to her bed and sat by her side as I placed the towel on her shaky forehead.
Slowly, her mutters started making sense so I tried to listen in.
“Help me… somebody. Please…” she whispered slowly, as she grabbed my hand tightly like a scared little child.
“It’s… so dark and cold here. Mommy- please come save me. I… don’t like it here. He is… hurting… me…” she cried in pain.
“Livy? Please, Wake up! It’s just a dream.” I yelled in horror.
What the hell was she dreaming about? Who is hurting her? My chest was aching as I felt my heart start to constrict at the thought of someone causing her any harm.
I shook her shoulder with my other hand to try and wake her up, but she wouldn’t wake up.
“It… smells horrible in here… wet burning… wood… I can’t… breath” she muttered weakly, as though she was choking.
My God- no way.
No way, it can be.
Livy?!
What… what is she saying right now?
My head suddenly started pounding heavily as those words crashed into my soul, crushing every bit of it.
I stood up from the chair with shaking legs, and involuntarily moved backwards almost knocking the chair down.
My head was spinning and my throat was burning- dry and crusty. I took deep breaths but with every draw and release exercise, came an even more excruciating pain than the last.
“Wh… what do you perceive, Livy?” I asked stuttering, as my eyes fixed on her lips.
“Tobacco… gasoline and tar… please… help me” she pleaded unconsciously.
This can’t be real. This is not happening.
There is no way… it couldn’t have been Livy.
The past that bounded me with Sophia was a lie?
16years ago, my ‘little rose-cheek’, the wrapper ring, the traumas- it’s been Livy all along?
It felt like my mind was playing tricks with me at the moment, and any time now I’ll wake up from this dream.
But her grip became tighter on my hand, causing pain and realization course through my body- I wasn’t dreaming.
“Markian?!” she called out, as she slowly regained her consciousness.
“Hmm? I’m here.” I managed to answer, as I sat back down on the chair and drew closer to her.
“What… happened?” She asked weakly, trying to raise her head up from the pillow.
“You have a fever. I’ve called the doctor, he’s on his way.” I replied.
I helped her sit up on the bed while creating a cushion with the pillows so she can rest her back against it.
“I had… the worst dream ever. There was a boy… and a little girl, they were trapped in an abandoned old house. She was tortured… the little girl. (sobs) Oh God Markian- it was terrible. A man tried to drown her…. and he hurt her, Markian… (sniffles) And she couldn’t see because he blindfolded her. Markian it was so horrible and the room were he kept her smelt so bad, and… and the little boy saved her. He took her away- into the woods. Markian, I… I think that little girl was me.” she explained hysterically, weeping and sobbing.
It broke my heart to see her relive that terrible past, it broke me.
“It was just a bad dream, Livy. You’re going to be fine, I promise. No one will hurt you, ever” I encouraged.
I sat on the bed and pulled her to my chest were she laid and soon drifted off to sleep again.
Seeing her in that state, with the magnitude of emotions that just flooded me, I couldn’t let her suffer through that pain and agony again. So, even if it meant I had to lie to her by calling her memory a bad dream, I won’t let her relive it again.
I can’t believe I searched for her all these years with confidence that I would be able to recognize her, but when she finally appeared before me, I couldn’t.
The first time I saw her again was at her university 4years ago. I remembered seeing her under the scourging sun, unable to find shade anywhere.