Zanaya’s POV
“Arghhh” I twisted my body a little after I felt the sudden pain on my stomach.
We were currently walking along the hallway of the building where the music show is and I am so glad there wasn’t any human being present to see how stupid I look right now.
“Zaya, are you sure you’re still fine?” Tokyo asked worriedly.
I clung my hand on her arm for support.
This is basically my fault. I can hardly able to eat these past few days and it has taken a toll on my body.
Tokyo and I decided to go out because I need to buy some medicine for my upset stomach.
“Hello, Zanaya! Tokyo!”
After hearing my name being called from afar, I quickly fixed my posture trying to hide the discomfort that I’m currently feeling. My hand was shaking so I hide them behind my back.
“Hello!” Tokyo and I bowed after Charlie greeted us. He’s walking along with Ren who just bowed to us.
Our manager was alone and she can’t handle all of us so I didn’t want to bother her. Instead, I pulled Tokyo out to accompany me.
I smiled at Ren after remembering how he brought me back to our dorm the last time and he just returned my smile.
“How are you feeling? I heard that you fainted the last time.” Charlie asked me worriedly, I had to do a double-take and widened my eyes at Ren.
He just looked at me apologetically.
Oh no, Tokyo and Ren are exactly the same.
A sweet smile emitted on my face as I look at Charlie. I want to applaud myself for being able to hide the physical pain that I am feeling. Not that I am emotionally stable right now anyways.
My eyes landed on his ethereal face.
If I wasn’t married and well, somehow still in love with Seth, I would openly admit that Charlie is so handsome.
And why does he have to be so kind anyway?
“Ah yes. I’m okay, thanks to Ren.” I said and I hope Ren got my message that I did not appreciate him telling people that I fainted.
Soft giggles escaped my lips as I heard Ren coughing continuously.
Good. He definitely got my message.
“What are you guys doing here by the way?”
“We were just filming something,” Tokyo answered and I gulp as I noticed how Charlie had been looking at me with intent.
Unable to stand the awkwardness, I looked down while playing with the hem of my shirt.
I bite my lip as I felt the sudden pain in my stomach. I balled my fist real hard to stop myself from screaming in pain. I’m glad I looked down so they are unable to notice my dilemma. I felt the streaks of sweat forming on my forehead.
“Are you two done filming?” Ren asked and I nudged Tokyo to answer.
I knew it. I should have stayed in the room with Max and Cali. That way, I wouldn’t be in this awkward situation.
“Not yet, Ren but we’re almost done. We just went out to grab something to drink.” Tokyo happily informed then.
This little pill.
“Oh, is that so?” Charlie asked.
“Yes.” I said trying to finish the conversation.
“Oh, how about we go with you? You wouldn’t mind right?” Charlie asked and his eyes were gleaming I don’t have the courage to say No.
However, I don’t think that’s a good idea because we were supposed to buy medicine as well.
Before I can even answer, my body froze a little after I heard what Charlie said next.
“Grey! Seth! What are you guys doing here?” he happily cheered as he looks past beyond me and Tokyo.
And I did not dare turn my back.
Seriously? Of all the times that I had to see him, it has to be today?
My mind says I can face this bastard husband of mine but my heart said I need more time.
Don’t come here, please. I silently wished.
A hand suddenly slide towards mine and I have never been so glad to have Tokyoby my side, Though I felt sorry when I squeezed her hand a little hard after I felt another surge of pain in my stomach.
“We were doing an interview. How about you guys?” Grey casually replied as I felt them stopped just behind our backs.
I was about to excuse myself and Tokyo but Charlie has other plans.
“We were just about to grab something to drink. Do you want to join us?”
Oh gosh, is this some kind of a party or what?
“It’s okay Charlie, they might need to go somewhere else,” I muttered praying that Seth would decline the offer and now I’m starting to hate all four men in front of me when Charlie once again tried to convince them.
“I’m sure Seth and Grey can spare some time for a little drink,” he said, his eyes gleaming in mischievousness.
I groan internally after I remember the last time we talked. I bumped into him in the hallway on one of the events that we attended. That’s way before what happened between Seth and me.
After remembering that Seth was with us, I just smiled at Charlie hoping this would end soon.
“Of course, we don’t have a lot of things to do anyway. I’ll just send a message to Sally to wait for me.” Seth coldly muttered and I felt a pang on my chest.
I knew this is bound to happen but I wasn’t prepared. I don’t think I can ever be prepared.
My hand automatically squeezed Tokyo’s arm when I felt another surge of pain.
Fuck. I need to drink some meds now before I pass out.
Tokyo must have realized that I’m close to losing my insanity so she decided to put everything in her hands.
“Let’s go? We need to be back with the girls in a few minutes anyway because our manager would be worried.” Tokyo hurriedly pulled me towards the direction of the convenience store just beside the entrance of the building.
It was still within the vicinity so fans are not allowed to come in. There is a cafe inside so we immediately fall in line to buy drinks.
While in line, I told Tokyo that I will just go and grab some medicine on the rack on the corner.
Though a little dizzy, I tried my best to walk normally because I can feel some eyes staring at me from behind and it gives me chills, to be honest.
Once I reached the corner for the medicine and I was sure I was out of the boys’ sight, my hands automatically clung to the wall for support.
“Oh no Zanaya, don’t pass out here please,” I told myself, my eyes closed as I try to keep myself sane.
I can already feel the streaks of sweat on my body and our make up artist will flip if she sees me.
A sigh escaped my lips before I turned around to finally grab the medicine but I was startled to see Seth behind my back staring at me seriously.
My gaze avoided his as I felt my heart beating rapidly.
After all those weeks of not seeing him, I still feel like I’m lost.
I wanted to shout at him. Ask him why he did that. But for what? For me to get hurt? For him to tell me that he just played with my heart?
A part of me wants to touch him and feel him in my arms but a part of me wants to hit him square in the face for hurting me but I know I can’t do that. At least not in this place.
But I don’t even think I could do that. I’m Zanaya Devon. I won’t stoop down to that level.
The pain may be unbearable but I won’t let anger eat my system.
He’s not worth it.
With the remaining energy that was left in me, I tried to walk past him not bothering to get the medicine that I need. I can’t stand his presence near me.
But before I can even move another step, I felt him grab my arm which made me stop from my trance.
“Fuck.” I can’t help but curse after I felt like my brain shook from the inside of my head.
I can already feel my head hurting as well.
This is not good.
I turned around and my heart skipped a little at the sight of him.
He has bags under his eyes and he looked thinner. He looked like a mess.
Is Sally not taking care of him?
I close my eyes and try to shake that thought.
I don’t need to care.
They can do whatever they want.
However, I was a little confused to see the pain showing in his eyes that I had to hold myself back from hugging him and ask him what’s wrong.
“Please let go.” My voice stern as I stare at him coldly.
He stared back at me still not letting go of my arm.
“It hasn’t even been a month but you have the guts to show me you’ve already moved on.” he bitterly responded and I can’t help but chuckle bitterly at his remark.
“Really? You’re telling me that after you eat Sally’s face in front of me?” I said exasperatedly at his words.
“And so what? That’s why you’re seeing him?” he said accusingly.
I forcefully moved his grip from my arms as I angrily poke his chest.
“Whoever I see is none of your damn business. I can kiss whoever I want the same way that you do and you don’t have the right to say anything about it.” I put down my hand as I feel myself getting dizzy, my eyes about to get teary any minute.
“I don’t need half of your bullshits Seth. Moreover, I don’t need you. You can go fuck your girlfriend because I won’t give a damn.” I coldly said to him, my voice low but enough for him to hear.
I’m not even sure if he was hurt with what I said but I feel like I was the one hurting.
Fuck, I am dying inside.
My heart is aching that I can barely even eat nor sleep at night. I’m slowly losing my sanity because of what he did. I don’t even know how I was able to do my job instead of locking myself in my room.
The fact that the girls were keeping me occupied made me hold my shits altogether. The girls, my family, and our fans are the reason why I’m still keeping this facade.
You hurt me. You killed me.
But no. I am fine on my own. No drama. No lies. No heartache. No Seth.
Yeah, I will survive.
“Zaya!” I look down as I heard Tokyo’s voice.
She immediately moved towards my direction and asked if I’m okay.
I just smiled at her and I was startled when I saw Tokyo flipped Seth, her fiery glaze gleaming and I felt scared for Seth’s sake.
Somehow, I envy how Tokyo can openly do that but I can’t.
Seth looked taken aback while I saw Grey from behind trying to hold his laughter.
Not long enough, Charlie and Ren came with us.
“Zaya, are you okay? You look so pale.” Charlie walked towards my direction and felt my forehead.
“You’re burning. We’re you sick all this time?” he asked worriedly.
“I’m sorry but we need to go,” Tokyo said not smiling and I bowed to Charlie and Ren before leaving them behind.
As we walk along the hallway, Tokyo was talking non-stop.
“I can’t believe he has the guts to even talk to you. I hate him!”
Once we reached our room, Cali and Max looked at me worriedly.
“Zaya, are you okay?” Cali asked and before I can even respond, I passed out.