“What is it?”
He shook his head. “You might run away again,” He chuckled humorlessly.
Those words sparked a conflicting curiosity within me. I wanted to know, yet after hearing him say that, I also didn’t want to know.
“Is it that bad?”
“I think it’s disastrous. You might have a different opinion. I don’t know if it’s good or bad. It sometimes feels so good and right and sometimes just wrong and horrible.”
We didn’t say anything for a few more minutes during which we exchanged glances at each other and stares when we thought the other wasn’t looking.
“Good night, Juliet.”
Without any further words, he disappeared behind his door and I was left standing alone in the hallway.
I entered my own room, my head reeling from what just happened.
Now I definitely understood that we should put a lot of space between us.
Ethan had some sort of proximity problem with me. He liked to be close to me in a way friends shouldn’t. And the scary part was I did too.
***
Ethan and I could no longer be friends. That thought sent a dull ache to my heart. That meant not talking to each other and not looking at each other, pretending as if another person doesn’t reside in the room opposite of mine and being careful to not have eye contact at the dinner table.
I didn’t know if we could ever be friends again like before but I knew that I wanted Ethan in my life one way or the other. I never realized just when he made a place for himself in my heart that the moment I woke up the next morning would remind me of his absence from then on.
Things were hard. We liked each other’s company but we couldn’t even be friends. I had a secret and he had a girlfriend who could potentially ruin my life if she ever got to know about last night or the previous few times we had been that close.
So I talked myself into forgetting him. I believed the harder I tried, the easier it would get.
I purposefully went down for breakfast one hour later than I usually did because that meant that Ethan had already left with my dad for work.
The rest of the day after that was easy because he wasn’t there. I hung out with Amelia and then Keith and then studied the rest of the time.
Dinner was a little awkward because he was sat right in front of me on the other side of the table so I had to constantly look down at my dish or from left to right. To make matters worse, we accidentally bumped feet a few times.
After dinner, I retreated to my room until next morning.
Although this was the first day of us avoiding each other like the plague, I had already started feeling his absence and fun things and conversations with Keith didn’t seem that fun anymore.
One thing I found weird was that Olivia refused to hang out with me. I had asked her four times that day and she had adamantly declined to play a game of badminton or tennis with the excuse of her being busy with her studies. I knew that we were drifting away and I hated it. I missed the carefree and fun days we had when we were back home. She was my partner in crime, quite literally sometimes and I didn’t like that we didn’t spend as much time as we did before.
I couldn’t help but notice that she was always in a bad mood. Whenever I tried to talk to her, she would look irritated and it seemed like she didn’t want to near me which confused me. I was pretty sure I didn’t do anything wrong to her.
It was bad enough that I couldn’t talk to Ethan, I didn’t not want to talk to Olivia too.
But I decided to give it a few days. Maybe she was just stressed about something completely different that had nothing to do with me. I told myself that she’d come around after a few days.
The only person I could think of hanging out with, without any worries was Keith. He made me feel so comfortable and welcomed. He was always a great person to talk to. I’d always learn something from him.
It was only the second day since I stopped talking to Ethan.
Keith must have sensed I wasn’t in a very bright mood so he made me a yogurt bowl with fruits arranged to resemble a cat’s face. It was so adorable, I almost didn’t want to eat it.
The strawberries were sliced in the middle and made up the ears. Sliced bananas with blueberries made the eyes and a strawberry slice cut horizontally made up the cat’s nose with a blueberry on top. Bananas were sliced vertically to make the cutest whiskers I’d ever seen.
“Thank you!” I smiled which Keith returned.
“Mind telling me what had gotten you into a sour mood earlier?”
I shrugged. “It’s nothing and I think you can’t be of much help anyway. Aren’t you getting a yogurt bowl for yourself?”
Keith rubbed the back of his neck. “Is it alright if I do?”
I rolled my eyes. “Of course it is. Why would you even ask that? From the time I’ve known you I realized you are a lot cautious about everything you do. Have you never broken any rules before?”
“No,” He said shyly.
“Thought so. But seriously, don’t overthink everything you do. You worry about trivial things like is it okay if you eat with me or sit with me. You act as if we have a land and sky difference between us which I really don’t like. You are my friend so act like one and stop overanalyzing everything you do. Now make yourself a delicious yogurt bowl.” I commanded.
Keith smiled at me before he got a bowl for himself. We sat in silence for sometime, eating our own food.
“Keith, how old are you?”
He raised his eyebrows at my random question. “Just turned thirty seven about twenty day ago.”
“What?!”
“Yeah. It was my birthday… on fifteenth August.”
“You didn’t tell me?!”
“Well, I didn’t exactly wanted to go around telling everyone it was my birthday.”
“But still, you could’ve told me! How dare you not tell me. Gosh, and I thought we were friends.”
Keith snorted. “Some friend you are. Couldn’t you have found out? After all you are the great Juliet Jenson. You never asked me either.”
I narrowed my eyes at him and he instantly looked like he regretted saying that, clearly thinking that he overstepped his boundaries.
I burst out laughing at his expressions. “I’m sorry I didn’t pay attention to when your birthday was. I realize I’m a terrible friend. So belated happy birthday, Keith and I’m sorry.”
He waved off my apologies. “Eh, birthdays aren’t much of a big deal to me anyway.”
“How can you say that? It was your birthday. It’s a big deal. So what was I doing on that day and what did you do?”
“Well, as usual, you were busy running after Ethan on that day. And I didn’t do much on my birthday. Baked a little cake for myself and my friends here wished me and we had a little celebration.”
His reply made me feel bad for him. I regretted wasting so much time on Ethan. It was obviously going to lead to nowhere. And I was so busy obsessing over Ethan that I completely forgot that there were other people in the world. I missed Keith’s birthday and I was incredibly upset to hear that he had to bake a cake for himself and that there was not much of a celebration.
“Why didn’t you go to your family to celebrate?”
“Actually, I think no one remembered my birthday. I didn’t get any calls. I don’t blame them. I have a big family. It’s impossible to remember each and everyone’s birthday.” He laughed it off.
Keith was trying his best to sound okay with that but I knew that deep down he was sad that no one even wished him a happy birthday. I almost cried.
“I’m really sorry.” Was all I could say to him to which he assured me that it was okay and that birthdays were not that big of a deal to him, repeating what he had earlier which sounded a lot like him trying to convince himself of that just so he didn’t get sad over no one remembering his birthday.
At that moment, I knew I had to take away his sadness. An idea bloomed in my mind to do just that.