FORREST
WHEN I turned around, It was Alan, and I wanted to roll my eyes.
“It’s a beautiful day, isn’t it? Milady, young master.”
“Young master my arse. How old am I?”
“Good to know that you got your humor back. When I was at your age, I was still fighting bandits in the middle of the wilderness.” He walked back inside the ballroom hall.
“I don’t know what to do if it wasn’t for Alan, Mama. I wasn’t that affected when Papa left after what he did to us, but I thought I lost half of my soul when Father died. You are the only person left to keep me from living, then Alan came into my life. He became so important to me. He’d been there for me for the past years. I lived a life as normal as possible knowing that you were safe and sound, and Alan was there to guide me. I owe him my life, Mama.” I stood up from my seat and moved to kiss her on her forehead. “I love you so much.”
Moments later, the grand piano from the ballroom hall, echoed. I knew it was Alan. He loved to play the piano just like Father. I sauntered towards him when he started singing that had I slowed my pace until I stopped.
I knew the song he was singing. Back in the States, he used to hum it to me when I couldn’t sleep.
…I stepped into an avalanche. It covered up my soul.
And I knew exactly what he was doing—to send me a message, to haunt me, to taunt me that I had to pull my shits together. He knew my feelings about Megan. He’d seen how vulnerable I was when he sent my mother and Meadow to the airport, and he knew the reasons why I couldn’t be the one to send them back.
“Can you please stop the bloody up?”
He stopped, turning to face me. “I missed playing. What crawled up your arse, lad?”
“I know exactly what you’re doing.”
“Of course, you do, young master.” He gracefully tapped his fingers on the keys.
“I am not young anymore. Forrest is perfectly fine. Or is this your way of pissing me off?” Because you’re quite smashing of reminding me of my epic failure of getting my relationship back.
“You can’t stay here for long and have peace of mind when your soul is somewhere,” he sang to the tune, and I couldn’t help but roll my eyes.
“I think you’re wrong. The last time I checked, I just redeemed my soul back. And I am perfectly fine.”
“You can’t say something that makes you feel better here, son. Figure something out, like you always did. You shouldn’t be staying here, feeling sorry for your arse when you have more important things to do. You may have more patience than anyone I know, but does she?”
My heart pounded. He was right, but again, Megan made it clear that we were over. I was a ticking time bomb, and I was not good for her.
“She doesn’t like me the way—”
We were interrupted by the commotion of manor’s employees. Alan was back on his feet with a gun pointing to the main door.
Fuck! “You broke our agreement!” I was already hurrying towards Francois who had his hands up.
“Forrest!” Mama’s voice stopped me, just a few steps away from punching Francois. As if to protect her from my father, I stepped back and wrapped my arms around her.
“I came alone and unarmed,” he stated. “And I am impressed. You have quite pretty tight security around here.”
“That’s the point of developing your own security system.” I snarled.
“Calm down, Forrest. I invited him. He is our guest,” Mama informed.
“Into our house?” With anger surged through me, I looked down at Mama as if I was being tricked.
“Yes. Because this is the safest place on earth for us even if he planned on bringing his cavalry with him.” Mama soothed my back in a rub.
“Why I wasn’t informed about any of these?” I stared at her, stealing a glance at Alan.
“You know the answer to that,” Alan interjected.
“No. I bloody don’t. Mind telling me now?” I eyed our despicable guest.
“Don’t be ridiculous, Forrest.” Mama left me and walked towards the sitting area as if this man she invited in was not the person who burned her to death. “Come in. Forgive our son’s aggressive behavior. Have a seat, please?”
“Aggressive?” I stayed glued in my place, boiling in anger alone. I stared at Alan, who already placed the gun back under the piano. “You okay with this?”
He shrugged. “Lady Kentworthry has spoken.”
“You both are unbelievable.” I walked briskly to join them, to protect my mother against this man that now I never feared.
Francois was sitting across from my mother. The tension was still thick in the air between me, him, and Alan, who stood behind Mama.
Refreshment was served. They lightly shared conversations about business, while I couldn’t take my eyes off this bastard. I couldn’t get my mind off the possibility of the threat he had with him. If I knew, this was part of his wicked plan. I was paranoid all the time, scared that he might be carrying a bomb inside his stomach, and let us all explode with him in our house.
“Why are you exactly here, Francois?”
He looked at me. “I’m sending back the money you wire-transferred.”
“Isn’t it what you want? The reason why you choose to be alone than with your family?”
“I deserve that.” He looked down.
“Of course, you deserve a lot worse. The pain from your ailment, of dying alone that no one cares, that no one will remember you once you will be six feet under. You deserve everything! The pain, the sorrow of those families you hurt and those people you put their blood in your hands.”
“Forrest,” Mama warned me. “He came here to ask for forgiveness. Whether you will give it to him or not, it’s all up to you. You suffered beyond any child could have. We all suffered, but he made amends for all his mistakes. He was looking for us to ask for our forgiveness, and not to harm us.”
“And you honestly believe what he said right now? Come on, Mama. He’s a monster. Have you forgotten what he did to you?”
Mama lifted her gaze, pain crossed her face, and I wished I could take my words back. “I would never forget that, Forrest. But it’d been years. I moved on because I forgave him. I had a beautiful life with your Father. I have a great life that I have you. One thing I owed this man is giving me you, instead of agreeing with my decision that I was not ready to have a child.”
“W-what?” I swallowed hard. My body numbed with the disclosure I just found. This would stain my memory forever. So it was because of me after all—the reason why their lives turned upside down. I was the one to be blamed. Their only mistake was the choices they made.
“My parents didn’t want me to give birth without getting married to your father. He chose to marry me because he loved me.”
“You’re not serious, Mama.” I stared at her for a moment before I shook my head. “This is not true.”
“I made mistakes, so as your father. You’re keeping anger and grudge towards him, but it wasn’t all his fault.”
“I can’t believe you are saying this to me now.” I shook my head repeatedly. “Why don’t you just surrender yourself to the authority, old man?”
The more he looked at my mother, the more I got pissed because I could see something in there that I wouldn’t like to admit.
“I’m making their jobs easy, son. My chemo didn’t improve as I expected. I made peace with my fate. That’s the reason why I am here.” He smiled at me that I wanted to punch it off his face. “At least, before I’d be pushing up daisies, I will be able to see that you two are happy in a better place, having a great life. Everything happens for a reason, Lean— Forrest. Think about it. This is maybe the reason why things happened for us—for you both to have a better life, that a husband and a father always wishes for his family that he can’t give.”