MEGAN
MOM HAD been keeping her words, and by meant keeping her words even though she was not feeling well, she didn’t reach out to me.
I had my suspicions that her headache yesterday was not the first time. When her patient rushed toward my desk and said Dr. Reed collapsed, I thought my world stopped, then quaked around me, and I lost control—I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t think as I was struck with the fresh fear. There was no way I’d be losing another person I loved. I knew this would be my breaking point.
I thought I might blackout when Mike did not shake me. I could feel the haze that alarmed me as I was about to have a flashback. I didn’t want to get through that again. I couldn’t because all I knew was it had been buried deep, so deep, for years.
Mike helped me dialing 911 as I tried to do a deep breathing exercise because I was started to hyperventilate in front of my mother, lying unconscious and pale as a ghost on the sofa. Regrets crawled up my skin, wishing I could tell her how sorry I was for running away from her.
Lacking some spine, I just stood there for like an eternity. I couldn’t touch her. I was scared—too scared that it reminded me of something terrible happened years ago—of someone I loved.
I wanted to shake to cry, but my voice wouldn’t come out. All I could feel was the chill of apprehension running down my spine while I was shaking silently.
From the window, I heard the siren echoed—the ambulance arrived. A few moments later, Mike answered some questions asked by the paramedic while I just stared at my mom in agony, voiceless, and terrified.
When they placed my mom on the stretcher, I let my gaze follow until the door closed behind me. Dread silently loomed over the room that seemed was now my prison.
So angry at myself, I collapsed to the floor, weeping my own despair. The only thing that I could hold on was the chair that was somehow giving me the strength. Drenched in sweat, I cried there alone, bearing the unspeakable pain. And just like always, no one was there to comfort me. I was alone again.
I heard the door threw open. I lifted my gaze to the man towering me.
“Miss?” It was Mike again who had a plastic cup of water, offering me.
I lifted my trembling hand, took the cup from him, and I managed to drink the content without spilling all over me. It somehow helped me clear my mind and think.
“Can I help you with something?”
I wiped my face dry with the back of my hand. “Yes, please. M-My phone. On my desk.”
Mike went out again. Then he came back pretty quick and gave me my phone. If there was one person I could talk to who wouldn’t judge me, it was Forrest. Then I remembered we were supposed to have lunch together. The time on my phone showed I was already late.
I looked at Mike again. “Thank you so much for helping me. I will tell her that you saved her life today.” I didn’t know why I said that. The fact that I didn’t know why she collapsed or if she would ever be okay, terrified me.
“Do you need anything?” He smiled sadly at me.
I couldn’t ask Mike. I’m too scared, but there was a minuscule of hope inside me that Mom would get through it. She always did.
“Thank you, Mike.”
Gathering all I had left, I stood up and dialed Forrest. I closed my eyes and bit my lip when it started to ring. He answered. Feeling drugged, I couldn’t understand what he was saying while I was rumbling some shits to myself.
Forrest was a virtual stranger. I didn’t know anything other than that every time I looked into his eyes, I saw the warmth and sincerity in them.
The call ended. I blinked back the glaze of tears and took a deep breath before I walked out the door.
Watch the road.
I managed to get into my car unharmed. I cried all my frustration, my pain, and my anger to myself until a knock pulled me out of my deep agony. I couldn’t remember how did I get the strength to launch into him. The last thing I remembered was his smell, his warm touch, and the hardness of his body was so comforting—it assured me some sense of security.
“It’s okay. Everything will be okay,” he continued to coo me with words, but it wouldn’t change the fact that this was happening. My mom was sick. While I was doing shits on my own, she’d been suffering alone.
I was a terrible person. A terrible daughter.
“Let’s get to my car. We have to go to the hospital. I’ll come back to take yours, okay?” He closed the door and wrapped his arm around me securely and protectively.
I had nothing to do than to nod and follow him as he helped me toward his car because I literally went in limp with exhaustion to say or to argue.
Once I was inside his car, I closed my eyes, silently praying for my mom’s health. The scents of his cologne and the air freshener calmed my senses, but the dull ache and the hollow in my chest would never dwindle.
I could feel Forrest securing my seat belt. Then seconds later, the engine purred. The car drove smoothly, and he had not said a word. The grip on my hand was supposed to catch me off guard, but instead, it was his assurance that he was with me—that I wasn’t alone anymore. I managed to grip it back and relax as his thumb started to draw circles around my thumb.
I fought to control the unwanted reactions he gave me. It just felt good that there was someone I could lean on during a moment like this.
“Your mom will be okay. You will be okay.” His words teared me up, re-established incredible feelings in my chest.
“T-thank you.” My voice cracked, and I could sense his stare on me, seeping through my emotion. I didn’t want to open my eyes and look at him. It wasn’t that I was a mess, but I wanted to pull myself together.
“No need to thank me.” His voice was so soft and sympathetic.
“I should. I never thought I would be closer to you like this. You were always distant and cynical, and I thought you hated me—”
“Why would you say that?”
My eyes fluttered open when I sensed a strong tone in his voice. “Because I’m a cold bitch.”
He snorted, almost a mock. His jaw clenched, deadly darkened sharp eyes focusing on the road.
“Ain’t I?” I let go of his hand.
“Don’t ever say that to yourself again. You’re a modern woman who is never ashamed of what she wants in life. And that’s what makes you an incredible person.”
I snorted. “Do you know you sound ridiculous, don’t you.”
“I don’t think I am. Which hospital?”
“I wish I share your confidence, Forrest. At the Central.” I wiped my face again. “All I know is I’m a weak cold bitch. I don’t filter and I laugh to hide the pain, I’m sure you know that. Don’t you think I am so pathetic?”
Forrest shook his head in disagreement. “Well, you don’t know yourself at all. Someone said a strong person is not the one who doesn’t cry. A strong person is the one who is quiet and sheds tears for a moment and stands up and fights again.”
“Let me guess, our Founding Father?”
“Just some random quote from the Internet.”
I had to look away because I knew this man of a few words beside me who had full of wisdom, and he just triggered something deep inside me, something that I couldn’t and wouldn’t want to ignore.
I could also sense that what he was saying was based on his experience. I could feel that he had been through a lot, but he managed to pick up the pieces and stand on his feet again.
“I care about her, you know?”
I snapped my head at him. “Who?”
“Your mom.”
I blinked in disbelief and swallowed. “H-how did you know?”
He stole a glance at me. He never tried to hide the sadness in his eyes, despite that, he managed to look heart-stopping beautiful and incredible. “I guess she chose not to place a family picture in her office. It’s not my business, Megan. Whatever we’d been through doesn’t define who we are today. It just made us strong and taught us a lesson to be good people.”
“You can actually talk,” I chuckled sadly.
“When I asked your mom if she knew you, I saw the sparks in her eyes, and that confirmed to me that she cared about you, and you are more than her employee.”
We arrived at the hospital. When the door slid opened, a sudden chill hit my core. I shivered, and Forrest noticed my uneasiness.
“I’m here, Megan.” He held my hand, squeezing it. When I looked up, he was telling me silently, and that gave me the strength to march forward.
Forrest was the one who asked the lady receptionist about my mom. When she told us the direction, I could barely walk with fear of what I was about to find out.
“Sit,” Forrest ordered.
I sat on the bench. The scenario in the hospital, the noises, the alarm, the rushing of medical staff made my stomach twist. I had to squeeze my eyes shut to push the thought of the past.
“Who’s the relative of Dr. Diana Reed?”
I was quicker on my feet, and I almost had myself stumbled. The twist in my stomach worsened, and I felt like throwing up.
“I’m her daughter.” My voice sounded foreign to my ears.
“She’s conscious now and wants to see you.”
“Oh, thank god.” A smile slowly spread across my lips. I felt a sudden light feeling in my chest.