It Was Pretty Phenomenal
BLAINE
“Did he call you yet?” Olive followed me with her horse, Rory as I rode Queen silently.
I needed this moment, but my best friend never allowed me to be alone.
The last time I had a heart problem was five years ago, and she and Charlie were always by my side up to this moment. They both had been heartbroken, and I was there for them as well.
That’s what friends do, right?
Now, the table had turned again. On me.
“He will call,” I answered nonchalantly. I didn’t want to talk so much about Xandry. The food I prepared was spoiled, even inside the fridge. I’ve waited for him for two frigging weeks, and no image of Xandry appeared on my door. I received three messages on his first day since he got back to New York, then he called that night that he was pretty tired with his last famous seven words.
I need you to understand me, Blaine.
“It’s only been two weeks, right? I’m sure he will call. He might be busy with businesses, you know, being the heir of Williams—pressured and all that,” Olive continued, trying to cheer me up.
I appreciated the effort, but it didn’t help. The more she mentioned his name the more it constricted my chest.
“Yeah, you’re right. He might just be extremelybusy, right? To even return my call or reply to my text,” I countered sarcastically just to silent her.
The sky was blue—it reminded me of his eyes. A few clouds hanging loosely in places. I inhaled deeply the fresh air blowing my face as Queen trotted slowly to the riding trails, and I had thousands of acres of beautiful scenery to see than to sulk and think of him who might not be doing the same because if he did, he could’ve just frigging sent me a frigging text, and that was making me furious.
“I’m sorry, Blaine. I’ll stop asking if you don’t wanna talk about him right now, but you should eventually let your anger out of your chest,” Olive cooed.
I rolled my eyes inwardly for her being right.
And yet she has been talking about him every damn minute. She knew the feeling of being ditched—Been there, done that.
“We’re just started dating, Olive. There was nothing to sulk about. We don’t have a lot of memories together and thank, God, it ended so soon before I fall for him. It was just sex.” It was like answering my own asininity. The truth was, that was one of the best moments of my life. Everything was almost perfect.
I hopped down my horse and so as Olive. We tied the ropes to the small tree trunk together. I was supposed to show him this small lake inside my family’s property that day he left and now, I was here without him.
“Don’t you feel anything for him?” she finally asked when we were seated on the cow grass, facing the lake. The birds sang on the trees, instead of feeling relaxed it made me sullen.
I shrugged, watching as the water flowed freely. “I like him. I missed him,” I admitted.
“And hot sex.” She giggled and suddenly stopped when I shot her a sharp glare, and she muttered sorry.
“And the hot sex,” I added. It was pretty phenomenal.
“So, he’s really good in bed, huh?”
Oh, you have no idea, girl. I’ve never been to heaven, but I thought that was the feeling when I reached the peak of ecstasy.
“You don’t have to answer me, Blaine. No wonder you’ve been so bluer than the pacific ocean when he didn’t come to visit. He’ll come around, trust me.” She moved closer, wrapping her arm around me. I hope he will.
“We should go back.”
I could only think of one thing, he was done with me, but I couldn’t just get his words out of my stupid brain that night before we fell asleep ‘the best sex of my life, so how was I able to believe that he was done with me when he promised to come back? Wasn’t sex an important part of the relationship?
I still had a small hope. If I could wait five years for the man of my life, surely I could wait another five more days, five weeks, or five months, or even five summers if he would still come back to me. I had the patience for him. And he made a promise after all.
***
“Mommy, the door!” Ben called out from the living room. He was still trying to finish his Lego.
“Ben, go wash your hands. Lunch is almost ready.” I sprinted past him to the door when the doorbell rang again.
Out of excitement, I forgot to inquire who was behind the door. A sharp breath escaped my lips. My eyes widened, unable to believe he was on my porch. A sudden coldness wrapped around my skin. At that moment he was the last person I wanted to see.
“What are you doing here, Ethan?” I found my voice shaky with so many emotions swirling all over me.
It had been five years since the last time I saw him. Uneasiness, angst, spitefulness, and anger rapidly filled my senses. Why he had to come back to this town that he abandoned years ago? And the last thing I wanted him where to be was in my house.
“Seems like you’re not surprised to see me at all. I guess your friends have told you I was in town.” He didn’t change a bit other than his brown hair was cut short. His face matured and had more muscles than the last time I remembered.
“Why are you exactly here?” I asked, ignoring the millions of worries forming in my senses. And I regretted it right away. I shouldn’t have asked if I was not ready for his answer.
“I came to see you and him,” he simply answered, and I almost had a disgusted snort.
And him.
And him.
It echoed in my ears, making my heart pound wildly, nearing to explode as my chest heaved out of rage, my fists were already shaking violently of the urge of punching him on his face. Since when did he remember he had donated his sperm?
“Relax, Noelle.” Oh, dear how I hated it when he called me that name.
“Relax? Get out of my property, Ethan,” I hissed, gripping the door handle shakily, and tried not to catch Ben’s attention. I didn’t want my child to see me being violent in front of this man and I couldn’t lie to Ben once Ethan revealed who he was to him.
“I will not go anywhere without seeing my son, Noelle. The reason why I didn’t come last week was that I had to go back and talk to my lawyer.”
“About what?” I asked immediately, fear surged through me, making me almost shiver. My legs and my knees weakened. “Didn’t you sign the papers in front of our lawyers that you had nothing to do with my baby? Did you forget that?”
“I still had a fight. Believe it or not, right now I can have what was his name?” he snapped his finger.
And that’s it, I felt the sudden rush of my blood into my head, clouding my vision with fury. I slammed my hands and pushed him hard enough on his chest causing him to stumble and roll down the wooden stairs on my porch. “Get out of my house, off of my property, Ethan! And I swear to God I will call the police for trespassing and attempted kidnapping of my son!”
He quickly stood up to his feet, dusting himself off then barked into an arrogant and evil laugh. His eyes alighted with deviltry causing my blood to boil. “Really, Noelle?” A sly grin spread on his lips, conveying he had something to use against me. “Should I see you in court then? Well, good luck because the moment I show the judge what’s on my phone. They will definitely take my side because you fucking slut just fucked inside the barn and on that fucking door!” he blustered.
I shook my head, denying that he was lying. And no matter how much I tried to hold my tears, it didn’t take long before they fell from my eyes. “You are lying! You have no proof and you signed the papers stating you were no longer have the right to my son!”
“You might forget your cousins threatened and hurt me. I can also use the medical report against you. And these videos alone will win my case, babe, trust me, so you better allow me to see my son.” He was sure determined about this. I couldn’t see any joke in his mischief eyes. He took his phone out of his pocket, tapped the screen, and faced it to me.
My tears poured down on my face like a heavy rain when I saw that he wasn’t joking. My trembling hands covered my mouth as I watched the video with blurry sight. It was a video of Xandry kissing me, my legs wrapped around his waist, the slamming of the door, and the shaking of the barn’s wall. Then he swiped the screen. The video started to play where Xandry’s hand was between my thighs.
Shaking to cry made me breathless. How could I be so reckless? And the man who was supposed to be here by my side when I’m in trouble was not here anymore.
“A-are y-you blackmailing me with that?” I stammered, and he ignored my question, instead, he gave me a satisfied smile. “Please, don’t do this, Ethan. His name is Ben, Benoyce Arthur. Please don’t take him away from me. He is my life, my everything.” I wiped my tears from my face and walked towards him with wobbly knees.
“Why did you let him fuck you, Noelle? Of all the people why Xandry fucking Williams?” He threw his hands in the air grandly. “Do you know who is he? He is a fucking slut.” His voice was pure disgust and disdain, but I couldn’t care less. I just wanted my son and I was willing to do everything for Ben.
“How do you know him? We’re not together anymore. It was just a fling, and we’re over.” I just broke my heart. Again.
“Then, let start over,” he said quickly, and my eyes widened in shock. He broke my heart and now he was coming back. I loathed him over the years for turning his back on me when I needed him the most. He didn’t want my baby and now he wanted to play his role as a father? Preposterous!
“It’s not that easy, Ethan. You hurt me, you broke my heart. I raised my child alone and I can’t let you in my life and in his life—”
“But you allowed the man-whore into his life, right, Noelle? And how can I not be when I’m his real father? Or should I raise him alone by myself?” Then that was it. He left me alone standing shocked and shattered.
Shutting the door closed, I leaned against the door, dragging my body down as I hugged myself. I cried without restraint for I didn’t know how long until my lungs struggled to function.
I needed air.
I couldn’t breathe.
The pain I felt at this moment wasn’t something I ever wanted to feel again. I could live of losing Xandry, but I’d rather die than losing Ben. I’d been strong for a long time and I didn’t have it in me anymore.
And when I opened my eyes, a pair of sad hazel eyes locked to mine.