“I think that’s probably the difference between men and women. Or maybe it’s just me.”
“What do you mean?”
“An understanding and trusting family gives you the confidence to test your limits because you know they will have your back. I can take a leap of faith, knowing that I have somewhere I can always go back to if everything goes to shit.
But lack of it makes you vulnerable and weak. Too cautious to actually really live.
If my parents don’t have faith in me, if they can so readily believe every bad thing about me, maybe I do really have a bad character. Otherwise, why would they be like that, after all, they do love me.” Rosaline muttered in an emotionless voice as if she was talking theoretically rather than about herself.
But the suppressed grievances in her voice broke William’s heart.
“I’m sorry,” William whispered. He felt a pang in his heart, looking at the unshed tears in her eyes.
‘I’ll never make her cry, no matter what.’ He vowed in his heart. A vow, he really did keep.
Unable to contain himself, he gathered her in his arms and held her tight. He did not know what to say, so he kept mum, hoping that she would understand.
Rosaline was startled by his sudden hug. He held her so tight, she thought she would suffocate. But surprisingly felt a sense of security that she had never felt before. Even though she could not bring herself to hug him back, she nevertheless indulged in this new feeling.
It must have been her talk with Tessa last night which prompted her to open her heart to him. Something she had never dared to do with anyone.
She was betting against the heavens. Whatever she had with William was already quite messy as it was. But feelings can’t be forced – whether you are forcing yourself to feel or forcing yourself not to feel.
So for once, Rosaline decided she would try. If it worked, she could imagine being happy with him, building a home together. If it did not work out, she would be heartbroken but she would have no regrets.
She decided to follow her heart this once, but she would still be cautious. After all, Alfred Adler said, “Follow your heart but take your brain with you.”
When William felt that she had calmed down, he kissed her on the top of her head and broke apart.
“Let’s get going. I think they were in that area.” William said, pointing to an old and sparsely populated locality in the far outskirts of the city.
As they drove over to the place William had shown her from the top, Rosaline realized he could have just driven over there directly since he already knew where it was approximately located.
‘Did he just use this excuse to bring me here?’ Rosaline mused feeling warm in her heart.
William slowed down considerably as they neared the locality.
Fortunately, they happened to come across the said couple when they were still a little distance from the locality. The gardener couple had a small cart where they were selling rare herbs and spices.
As they approached them on foot, Rosaline could tell the spices and herbs were of superior quality just judging by the smell. But since the cart was very shabby, no one seemed to be coming over there. That and it was just too far off from the residential area.
Rosaline started the conversion as they approached their cart.
“Hello! May I know more about these herbs, please? Why do they smell different from the ones in other carts?”
“Young lady, Welcome. These are authentic herbs picked from Apex forest and nearby forests. Since the quality of the naturally grown herbs and spices are superior to those produced by farming, these have a stronger smell and they are more potent.”
“Can you tell me what these are for please?”
…… The couple explained a lot of the benefits of the herbs and how each of them can be used, most of which went over Rosaline’s head. So she glanced at William for help.