SHADOW
My wolf howled in me, empathizing with the pain I felt. It was excruciating knowing the man I’d been looking for revenge on was the same man who brought Califf to this world. How fucked up is that?
Goddess must have been rolling on the floor laughing her ass out loud at me right now.
I’d been through a lot, lost my family and my pack, and struggling with the human life. I could have gone crazy if it wasn’t for my adopted father. Right now, I was alone in the middle of nowhere.
This time, the pain was different. I felt him, and he felt mine. I was mated and bound to be forever with the man I’d never expected to be so kind and generous, and it turned out to be the son of a pack murderer. This truth was a million times more fucked up.
For the first time, I didn’t know what to do. I felt trapped in this bubble-the life in a werewolf world.
After I stole the Wrangler, I drove off the compound and didn’t know where to go. Thankfully, I had my phone stuck in my dress.
I dialed Kent and blocked my link with the pack and Califf.
“Hey, honey. How’s the party? Shouldn’t you be having dinner with your pack?”
“Kent, I need you. Can you come over and take me home?”
“What happened? Are you okay? You’re making me worried.” His tone instantly changed. He must have heard it in my voice.
I closed my eyes and let the tears roll down my cheeks. “I’m fine. I just found out something shocking tonight. I want to be alone right now. I want to see you, Kent. Please?”
“Okay, honey. Send me the address.”
“Um. They’re still keeping tabs on you, right?”
“Yeah. Why?”
“Just purchase a ticket for me, somewhere away from you and here.”
“No, honey. Whatever it is, you have to face it. In the meantime, book a hotel overnight, let it cool down, then go back and face it.”
“Kent, Califf’s father, is the werewolf responsible for killing my entire pack.”
“What? Oh, my God. Are- are you okay? Did he hurt you?”
“No. I’m fine. I just got out of the compound. I have to ditch the car somewhere so they can’t find me. He’s sick. It was true that a Lycan Alpha bite could hurt a werewolf. My father bit him.” I wiped the tears away from my eyes.
“What did Califf do then?”
“He had no idea. He was shocked, too. But I can’t be with him, Kent, but our mating is complete, and I can feel his restlessness, his emotions. It’s everywhere. I can’t block it off.”
“What’s your plan, honey? You can’t run away from him. That’s not a good idea.”
“The only way to break this thing is if I rejected him, mate with another werewolf, or cheat on him, but it’s going to be excruciating for him, and I don’t wanna hurt him, Kent. I love him, but his father is the reason why my family is gone forever.” I stopped the car as I cried against the steering wheel. I didn’t know what to do. I was hopeless in fighting against something so powerful.
“I wish I could tell you everything is going to be okay, but you know it’s not. Unless you face the truth, know the truth, and learn how to forgive. I know it’s hard, but you have to try. Think about your future with him, with your pack. I know the process will be long and difficult, but you have to heal and move on, honey.”
“Thank you, Kent. Thanks so much for everything, for being there for me, for teaching me how to be a human being with compassion. I could have killed him tonight-”
“But you did not. You are not born a killer, Shadow. Keep that in mind. You are born a leader, to lead, to run a pack of werewolves or your kind. You and your Alpha can make a difference together. Maybe it’s time to stop the killings between packs. Honey, I believe in you.”
“Thank you.” I drew a deep breath. “I will call you soon. Let me just find a hotel.”
“Is that safe?”
“I don’t know, and I took the necklace Zarah gave me and threw it off to Califf.”
“Maybe you should just stay close to your territory. Those dogs that hurt me, they’re probably still hunting you. No matter how powerful you are, you can’t fight them all if they catch you off guard.”
“Okay, Kent. I feel a lot better.” I did a U-turn and went back to the same road toward the compound. With my unexcused behavior earlier, I didn’t know how to face them. I just showed them my dark side, who I was. They probably threw stones at me for getting out of control and hurting Elder Waylon.
I found a clearing with beautiful tall grass. The wrangler just drove smoothly under the full moonlight. I thanked Moon Goddess for her guidance as I parked the vehicle and stayed in as I looked up at the sky.
At this hour, I was stronger than normal days, and I could have just easily, effortlessly killed Waylon. Maybe it was good that I didn’t, or I might have regretted doing so. I would just leave it to the elders, even if I had no guarantee the verdict would be on my side.
I breathed in deeply until I sensed I wasn’t alone anymore. “Your stench is everywhere, Zack. Come out now, or I will come and rip off your limb. You too, Tor.”
“How did she know we’re here?” Tor whispered, but I still heard him.
“You should put some wolfsbane on. Your smell stinks.”
“Fine! Just don’t bite us,” said Zack as they walked closer.
“Sorry, I stole the Wrangler. You should have taken the key out.”
“How are you feeling?” Zack climbed up at the back.
“How did you find me?”
“Alpha gives as an update, Shadow,” Tor said, coming to the passenger seat.
“I should have turned off the GPS. Santi has done updating the system, has he?”
“Yeah. It was cool, though. Way better than I can do.” Zack cleared his throat. “I’m sorry about what happened to your family.”
“Thank you for healing me, Tor said, sounding grateful. “I didn’t know until tonight. That’s why the moment I thought I was drifting, I wasn’t healing. The next thing I know, I was sitting on the bed like nothing happened.”
“You’re welcome. And it’s fine, Zack. It hurts, though.” I sighed shakily. “I mean, what Moon Goddess was thinking?”
“Well, in Moon Goddess’s defense, she paired you with Alpha before things happened, but you’re still coming back, right?” Zack’s answer made me chuckle.
“We can’t work without you, you know. You’re our Luna now. We should stop calling you Shadow. Luna sounds better.”
I looked at Tor. “The pack hates me even more now after I went out of control. I mean, what kind of Luna acted like that? I am more of a rogue than a respectable Luna?”
“Our nature is aggressive. Imagine losing someone, and you found out the answer was just right under your nose. I would have acted like a rabid wolf. Honestly, I still admired your self-control. You didn’t shift to hybrid and rip his throat out. Sorry to say this to our Elder, but what he did was against the Werewolf Council. What are you gonna do now?”
“I don’t know. I’m confused and hurt, and my emotions are everywhere. I could feel Califf’s, too.”
“He’s hurting, afraid you might not come back,” Zack confirmed what I sensed in our bond earlier.
I sighed. “Sorry, I ruined the party.”
“Nah. And it’s your party. You can end it however you like.” Zack shrugged.
“You can both go back. I’ll stay here for a while.”
“Sorry, Luna. No can do. We’re your personal bodyguards.”
“I didn’t assign one, and I definitely don’t need one.”
“Alpha did.”
“Of course, you listen to him than me.” I looked at both of them, and they just hid their smiles.
“Fine.” I jumped off the Wrangler and lay on the grass. It was peaceful, and it smelled earthy. The moon hung low in a perfectly round silvery glow.
“Sorry, I can’t offer you my jacket. Alpha is territorial. He could smell my scent on you, and I will be in trouble.”
“It’s okay. I feel fine.” I shut my eyes closed only to jolt upright.
“Baby, are you there?”
“Jeez. This link thing and connection start to piss me off.” I blew a breath.
“Come back to me, baby. Let’s talk about it. I need you, please. My wolf is mad.”
“Tell your wolf to shut up. My wolf behaves just fine than yours.”
“Can I come to you?”
“Not now, Califf. Give me time to process, mourn my losses, and deal with what’s happening later.”
“Later then.”
“How about after a month or next year if you won’t stop this link right now?”
“Can you answer my call then?”
“No. I don’t wanna talk to you or anyone.”
“How could you resist our bond?” Was he kidding me right now?
I snorted. “I am not. I just have it under control.”
He groaned through our link.
“I don’t know how to face your father and the entire pack tomorrow, Califf.”
“We do it together, like how we should do. You were just shocked and hurt. They have your sympathy, and that’s reasonable.”
“I don’t know. I need more than a night.”
“I’ll come to you and bring a camping pack.”
“No. Stay there. The pack needs you more than me. I’ll see you in the morning. I just need to clear my head.”
“Okay, baby. Stay close to the guys.”
“They’re like puppies. They won’t go away.”
Califf laughed. “I’m so sorry, Shadow. I didn’t have any idea, and it ruined our party.”
“See you, Califf.”
“My father is getting worse.”
“I know. My father must have got into him.”
“You were right about the bite, but I feel fine.”
“I told you, and I’m not an Alpha, and mating isn’t a problem. I’ll see you soon.”
“You okay?” Zack came close.
“I wish I forgot everything that happened tonight when I wake up tomorrow.” But I know it would be impossible.
I needed to confirm the story. Who knew it better than the best friend herself?
I dialed Zarah’s number.
“It’s late, Shadow.”
“You knew, and you didn’t tell me. Why?”
“To protect you from yourselves.”