“I had a perfect family,” Brian began, “or so I thought. My dad and mom were college sweethearts. They loved each other so much that I still find it hard to believe that my mom would do something like that. And now, all I feel towards her is hatred,” He said and paused.
Hate… that was a strong feeling towards someone. The only person I hated was Jesse.
“My mom is a hot headed woman and I don’t know why, but she always hated me. It was later that I got to know that she hated me because she didn’t want to have a child with my dad. And before she could abort me, my dad got to know about it and so she couldn’t do that.”
My eyes widened. Why would she do that? What kind of a mother was she?
“When I was little, like nine or ten years old, I accidentally read one of my mom’s texts. A man had texted her asking her to meet her at a hotel. When I checked her other texts, I got to know that she was cheating on my dad with another man. Naturally, I was very furious at her and when I confronted her about that matter, she threatened me to not tell anyone. I didn’t know why she was doing that to my dad. She never treated me as her own child, just someone she had to take care of. She never? loved? me,” He paused again, looking away from me and out the window of my room. I had this sudden urge to tell him that I loved him but I thought it was better to keep my mouth shut.?
I slid my hand into his, threading my fingers through his. He gave my hand a light squeeze. I stared at our entwined hands. We were laying on the bed, our backs against the head rest of the bed. He had an arm around me, resting on my shoulder. My head was resting on his chest and I could hear his heart beating faster than usual.
“I kept her secret. I attempted to tell my dad many times, but then to keep my mouth shut about it, she started abusing me. I bore with her abuse, thinking that if I didn’t tell my dad about her she would trust me and love me like her son. But that just didn’t happen. The abuses, the insults, the beating, I just took it all.”
“Why was your mother cheating on your dad? They were college sweethearts, right? Then how could she do that to your dad? How could she do that to you?” I asked, glancing up at his face.
“She fell out of love with my dad. She lost her interest in him. My dad was a complete opposite of her. He was quiet and composed, she was wild; he knew where to draw the limits, she pushed him to extend his limits; he was hard working and dedicated, she just wanted to have a great life without working. Totally opposite. She was with my dad only because he had made a lot of money and her lover didn’t.”
“I’m so sorry, Brian. Nobody deserves a mother like her.”
“It’s okay. I don’t consider her my mom but still, it sounds nice to call someone mom.”
“I wish she wouldn’t have done that.”
“Me too. But my life turned hellish when my dad got to know about her infidelity. I didn’t tell him, I don’t know how he got to know about that but as soon as he got to know about it, he confronted her. They had a huge fight and my mom slapped my dad because he accused her of being a heartless cheat, which was actually true. I hate her so much.”
He released my hand and began tracing shapes on it.
“My dad wanted a divorce, my mom didn’t because dad was her wallet. Without him, she would be on the streets with her lover. But my dad forced her to give him a divorce. When it came to me, dad wanted to have joint custody of me with my mom. But my mom didn’t because she didn’t want to care for me, but my dad thought it was necessary for me to have a mother in my life. He didn’t know that she used to abuse me. But I didn’t need one, especially not someone like my mom. After their divorce, everything was fine for a while and I mostly stayed with my dad. My dad began drinking and smoking and sometimes even doing drugs. But one day, my dad returned home from work, drunk out of his senses. He didn’t say anything to me, when I was about to help him, he snapped at me. Then he just locked himself up in his room.? I just thought that he needed some time alone, so I let him be. In the morning, he still hadn’t left his room, so I called my neighbours after waiting for him for about two or three hours. They broke the door.”
I felt like this was ugly part.
“And I found dad hanging from the ceiling. I still remember that—that sight. I can never forget that. The cops declared it as suicide. But he didn’t leave a suicide note. My custody went to mom, with my dad’s wealth too. And the abuse continued.”
“What kind of abuse?” I asked, finding it hard to swallow as tears formed at the corners of my eyes.
“Mostly it was verbal abuse, but when she was frustrated, she would physically abuse me too, don’t ask how.”
“Oh my God. She deserves to be in prison!” I exclaimed.
“I know. Anyway, it was later that I got to know that after the divorce, my mom blackmailed my dad to give her money. She told him that if he didn’t do that, she would press rape charges against him; that’s why he was so drunk that night. And that’s why he committed suicide.”
“I’m so sorry, Brian. No one deserves that,” I said, not able to hold back the tears anymore. Brian saw that and he immediately cupped my cheeks, running his thumb under my eyes to wipe the tears away.
“Brooke, don’t cry. Please.”
But that didn’t help the case as more tears escaped my eyes. I wiped at them furiously.
“What happened after that?” I asked. I wanted to hear his whole story.
He looked at me for a second to see if I was okay, which I was. “I waited until I was eighteen and then I started living separately from them.”
“Oh,” I said in between sniffs.
He slid down the bed, taking me with him so now we were lying on the bed. He hugged me to him, my tears were ruining his shirt but he didn’t care.
“Brian, why didn’t you go to school that day when you asked me to bring your homework to your house?”
“It was my dad’s birthday. I wanted to be with him that day. I spent the whole day there, at the cemetery,” He said.
“I hate to admit this but I kind of missed you that day,” I said in an attempt to lighten up the mood.
“And I too, kind of missed you that day. A lot actually,” He replied and I could hear the smile in his voice.
We just laid there in silence. I was listening to his heart which was close to my ear. It was still beating abnormally fast. That worried me a bit.
I was getting a bit sleepy now. I closed my eyes. I didn’t know if he was planning on staying with me or not, either way I was okay. But before he left tonight, I wanted to tell him something important.
“Brian,” I whispered in the dark, my eyes still closed.
“Hmm?” I heard him hum beside me.
“I’m going to break up with Darren tomorrow. I love him, he’s my friend but it’s best to let him go because he deserves better,” I mumbled.
I think I fell asleep right after that because I didn’t hear his reply. When I woke up in the morning, I was alone in my room. He must have left sometime ago.
Placed on a night stand was a yellow post it note with Brian’s familiar handwriting. I picked it up to read it.
I? love? you.? But? please? don’t? let? me? influence? your? decision.? I? want? you? to? be? happy.? And? if? Darren? makes? you? happy,? then? I’d? like? you? to? be? with? him.? Do? what? makes? you? happy,? Brooke.? Life? is? too? short? to? mull? over? things? that? are? not? meant? to? be.
Good morning,? beautiful.? I? love? you.
“Brian, you’re the one who makes me happy,” I said out loud. I wished he was there to hear it.?
~~~
“Where’s Claire?!” I asked Jake, well more like shouted in his face.
His eyes widened and he gulped. “She’s still at my place. She’s not going to school today.”
“Why?! I want to talk to her!” I yelled.
“Oh… you can talk to her tomorrow,” He suggested, actually looking like a scared cat.
“Damn it! Where’s Jesse?” I asked to no one in particular. Without waiting for his answer, I left to search for the fuckboy. I had been early, like a lot early to see Claire but she was not coming.
I hoped Jesse was at his usual place at the parking lot with his fellow fuckboys. I hated people like Jesse who used girls only for sex. Didn’t they have a life outside sex? Stupid, sex addicted, narcissistic, dickless dogs!
I stormed towards the parking lot where I found Jesse with his friends, probably talking about who got laid yesterday. I wasn’t surprised to see him laughing along with his friends as if he didn’t just break up with Claire yesterday. Clearly, he didn’t care about her.
This made me even more angry. I stormed towards them. Without thinking, I grabbed Jesse’s collar and yanked at it to make him face me. The next thing I knew, I had deposited a punch on his face and he had stumbled back.
“You bitch!” He shouted at me as he touched his bruised nose.
Did he just call me a bitch?!
Someone standing next to me had a few textbooks in his hands. I snatched it away from him and started hitting Jesse on the head with it.
“How dare you use Claire?! You asshole!” I continued hitting him with the book. Some of his friends snickered beside me.
I felt an arm catch my hands as it pried the book away from me. I raised my fist to punch whoever it was, I thought it was a friend of Jesse’s.
“Whoa! Don’t hit me!” Jake said with wide eyes. I didn’t lower my fist and instead, turned to Jesse to punch him again. He groaned in pain.
Jake grabbed my arms and began dragging me away from them. I didn’t protest because I was in no mood to go to prison for killing someone.
I wriggled out of his hold as we reached our lockers. He let go of me. I opened my locker and angrily took out the books for my first period. Jake was still stood there.
“Wow, that punch is surely going to do some great damage,” He commented.
“I wish I could just kill him without going to prison,” I sighed, banging my locker door shut.
He chuckled, “I wish I could do the same.”
“How is Claire?” I asked, looking at him.
He gave me a small smile. “She’s good. She cried a lot yesterday, but she’s better now. She needs some time though,” he said, and I nodded.
“Aren’t your parents home? Were they okay with Claire spending the night at your place?”
“No, they’re not at home. They have gone to visit one of my mom’s cousin who’s in the hospital. They’ll be back in a few days,” he said, giving me a tiny smile.? He? smiles? too? much.? I? don’t? even know? how? he? does? it,? smile? everyday? as? if? life? is? all? sunshine? and? rainbows.
“Oh… when can I see her?”
“Once she wakes up, she’ll leave for her house. I think you’ll only be able to see her tomorrow,” He said. I think I can wait till then.
For now, I had to see Darren and tell him the truth. Saying goodbye to Jake, I walked to my first class.?