Claire had told me this would happen. And now it finally did happen. I wasn’t ready for it though, it was not something you’d want to hear first thing on a Monday morning when you were still groggy and sleepy.
But now I was fully awake. Thanks to Darren.
“Y-Yes,” I stuttered the words out and Darren’s face broke out into a Cheshire cat grin. I tried grinning back at him but I couldn’t because I wasn’t as happy about it, so it turned out looking like a weird smirk. I reassembled my facial features and put up a short smile.
“You would?” Darren asked again.
I nodded at him.
“I love you so much, Brooke. I swear you won’t regret it. I’ll make sure of that.”
The first sentence stung. It felt wrong. I was going to hurt him. And that would hurt me. That would hurt Brian too. And Gemma, well I think she would be hurt too.
“Okay, so today at eight o’clock, I’ll pick you up. I know this is a little weird as you’re already my girlfriend even though we haven’t been on a single date so tonight is our first one,” Darren said excitedly.
I nodded again. I didn’t want to do this. But I already said yes. So I didn’t think I had another choice.
Shut up,? Brooke.? It? was not that big of a deal. Just one freaking night and? it? would? be over. Maybe, it would even be fun.
Fun, yeah right.
“I should go to class now,” I said as I slammed my locker shut.
“Okay, see you later,” Darren said, leaving my hand which he had been holding.
“Bye,” I muttered.
He winked at me before walking away for his next class.
I walked to Biology, all the way thinking about what would happen today after school. I was nervous. I mean it was my first time and I didn’t know what I would do. I should just be myself and everything would be okay.
I sat beside Claire. She looked up from her book she was scribbling on and smiled at me. I smiled back at her.
“Today is my first date,” I blurted out of nowhere. The scribbling stopped and I felt a hand grip my shoulder. I looked over at Claire.
“What?! Seriously? Darren finally asked you out on a date?” Claire asked, excitement as transparent as water, in her eyes.
“Yeah,” I said, cupping my chin in my right hand. “He did.”
“And what did you say to him?”
“I said yes.”
She frowned, “He didn’t tell me. Does he think he can arrange a date more romantic than one arranged by me?” Claire said, pouting in the end. “He’s an idiot. He should have told me. I’m your best friend so obviously I know about you more than any of your other friends.”
“Claire, can you please stop talking? You are making it impossible for me to think straight.”
“Whatever. Tell me what are you going to wear on the first date of your life?”
“Um… I don’t know, clothes?” I asked her sarcastically.
She rolled her eyes at my lame sarcasm. “Yeah right, I thought it would be otherwise. I was naked on my first date with Jesse.”
“I’m not surprised. I’m sure you um… did? that? on your first date too, besides being naked.”
Claire punched me on the shoulder. Hard, might I add. I winced at that.
“I was not naked! And neither did we do… that,” Claire said, her cheeks flushing a rosy pink. She looked down at her books to hide her embarrassment.
Wish I could corner Jesse and beat the living banana out of him.
“What about my date?” I asked her once she recovered from her embarrassment.
“Oh… I’m sure it will be a great date. Don’t you worry and don’t be nervous. Just be yourself and everything should be fine,”? Well,? that? was? what I thought. Guess, Claire and I were on the same page. And? that? was why? she? was my best friend.
“That’s what I have been telling myself,” I said.
“Good. The date will be awesome.”
“And what if I say I don’t want to go? Because I really don’t want to. Either I’ll embarrass myself in front of Darren by blurting out stupid random things or I’ll be scared shitless to go, and that would be embarrassment itself.”
“Brooke, just think of this as a blind date. It’s just a date, not your wedding.”
Claire’s phone rang loudly in the class. Her eyes widened at that and she fumbled in her bag for the phone. The teacher was still not here but some of the students turned around to look at Claire. She took out her phone, glanced at the screen but didn’t pick it up. Instead she disconnected the call.
“Who was it?” I asked as I watched Claire type out something on her phone.
“Jesse,” She said, her fingers still typing out something.
“What does he want?” I asked, a bit rudely than I intended to.
“He wants me to ditch the rest of the day after this class.”
“What? Why? School is as important to you as sex is to Jesse.”
Claire shot me a glare.
“What? That’s the truth. He just wants to get laid today. And you don’t even realise that he treats you like his booty call.”
“Shut up. Jesse would never do that to me. He loves me,” She said, defending him.
“Claire, honestly just tell me when was the last time you and him were in the same room without doing it?”
She frowned, trying to remember. “Um… I think it was like, three weeks ago, probably a month ago, I don’t really remember.”
I sighed. For a smart me, I had quite a dumb friend.
“He’s using you.”
“He’s not.”
“He is.”
“He’s not.”
“You don’t trust me.”
“No, I just don’t trust what you are saying.”
“Fine. Just don’t come crying to me when he dumps you after he’s bored.”
“I won’t, because he wouldn’t do that.” She defended lamely.
“Uh huh. Let’s see.”
“What is your problem, Brooke? Why can’t you just accept our relationship? Or are you jealous of my relationship with him? Because you don’t have a good enough boyfriend? Why can’t you just let us be? Is it so hard?” Claire demanded, visibly angry while I just stared at her with wide eyes. “Whatever we do in our relationship is none of your business so stop being nosy and look after your own problems.”
I stared at her in shock for a long time before finally saying something. “I-I’m sorry, Claire. I didn’t mean to be nosy. I’m just worried about you. I don’t want you to be hurt.”
“Well then, I don’t need you to worry about me. I’m old enough to look after myself. I’m not a child anymore. And you’re not my mom so stop acting like one.”
“O-Okay” I said quietly, looking away from her. I couldn’t believe she talked to me like that. All because of Jesse.
Claire sighed beside me, “Look, I appreciate you being concerned about me but really, I don’t? think you need to be. Jesse loves me, I love him. Accept it and let us live in peace.”
I didn’t say anything to her. I was too hurt.
Claire never talked to me like that. This was the first time she did. And I hated to know that the reason she snapped at me like that was Jesse. Jesse freaking fuckboy Winters. I didn’t know what sort of dick he shoved up her ass that caused her to be such a bitch to me.
I didn’t talk to her the entire period. She didn’t attempt to talk to me either. It was nice knowing that she trusted Jesse more than me. At least I got to know what place I had in her life. Which ? was nothing. I was sure she considered her precious boyfriend to be her everything in her life.
But it pained me more to know the truth. Jesse was using her. I hadn’t personally interacted with him that much but based on his behaviour, I was sure he was with Claire just for her body. I noticed how he would look at every girl, like he was checking their assets out. He even looked at me in the same way and that angered me. So I avoided talking to him as much as I could.
The bell rang and I wordlessly got up from my seat beside my best friend. I could feel her eyes on me as I stuffed my books in my bag. Without uttering a word to her, I turned around on my heel to exit the classroom. I heard her call my name but I didn’t turn around to face her, and instead hurried my way out as soon as possible.
~
I had avoided Claire all day. I didn’t want to talk to her. It still hurt that she didn’t trust me. She trusted Jesse more than me.
I sat down in my seat. Thankfully, it was my last class. I wanted to get home as soon as possible. I was still thinking about Claire.
“You’re going on a date with Darren tonight?” Brian’s demanding voice next to me surprised me.
I turned my head to the side to look at him, “Yeah.”
He exhaled noisily and I looked away. “Why are you doing this to us? Why don’t just break up with him.” He asked coldly.
I sighed. “Brian, we have been through this many times.”
“You care about him getting hurt. But you don’t see that you’re hurting me more,” he said a little louder and I looked at him. I stared into his deep blue eyes.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered. “I don’t mean to hurt you.”
His eyes softened, “I know.”
Silence settled between us before he broke it. “Are you alright? You seem a bit upset.”
“No, I’m just a little tired I guess,” I said.
He nodded.
“What about you? Gemma didn’t pester you to go on a date with her?” I asked after some time.
“No,” he drawled. “But we’re going on a date tonight!” He said suddenly.
“Oh, okay,” I said, trying to hide the scowl which was itching to break out on my face.
Tonight was going to be a disaster, I could tell.