I think I was overreacting. I couldn’t ignore him just because he didn’t want to tell me his history. But I was like that. If I told someone something about myself, I would want to know about them too.
Maybe he wasn’t ready to open up. Maybe something happened to him worse than what happened to me.
I should give him some space.
I closed my locker door and head to my first class. Maths.
I entered the class and immediately spotted Darren and Josh talking about something. I plopped myself on the seat beside Darren’s and he looked away from the conversation he was having with Josh and smiled at me.
“Hey,” I said.
“Hey,” He replied. When he didn’t say anything further I raised my eyebrows.
“What were you two talking about?” I asked, turning around to face Josh.
“You know the party that Darren was going to throw two weeks ago?” Josh started.
“Um… what party?” I asked, confused. I didn’t remember them talking about any party at Darren’s.
“That party is tomorrow!” Darren said, completely ignoring what I had asked.
“Um… okay.”
“So you will come, right?” Darren asked.
I thought a bit about it. I was in no mood to party, “No.”
Darren’s smile fell and he frowned. “Why?”
“I don’t want to party. Just not in the mood to.” I told him honestly.
“Oh, come on! Please, it will be fun.”
“No Darren. I don’t want to come.”
“But we all will be there and-”
“I said no. Gosh! Why can’t boys accept a no? Stupid egoistic douches.”
Josh chuckled. “You called him that.”
“Because he is a stupid egoistic douche.”
“Shut up,” Darren glared at me.
“Don’t mind him.” Josh told me. “If you’re not coming it’s okay. Even Brian is not coming so maybe you two could-”
“NO!” Darren shouted. I almost jumped a mile in the air at his sudden outburst. “I mean no. You’re coming.”
I raised my eyebrows at him. “I said no,” I stated with an air of finality.
He sighed, “Fine. But you’re gonna die of boredom at your house.”
“I have my books and maybe I’ll study a bit… I won’t be bored. And you don’t need to worry about it. I’ll survive,” I rolled my eyes at him.
“You’re so stubborn.”
“Thanks. Have you asked Claire whether she’s coming or not?”
“Yeah, I asked her and she’s coming.” He said and I nodded. “With Jesse,” He added.
“I know. It’s like buy one get one free deal. If there is Claire, there would also be the asshole.” I said, venom lacing my voice.
“I hate him.”
“So do I. You know what? I hate boys. They are idiots.”
“Well except one,” Josh muttered from behind me. I faced him.
“Excuse me?”
“You do like one boy,” He waggled his eyebrows. I could feel Darren’s eyes bore into me and I shifted uncomfortably in my seat.
“No I don’t.”
“Yes you do.”
“Oh really? Who is it?”
He smirked, “Do I really have to answer that?”
“Well yeah, I don’t know who I like according to you so you better enlighten me about it.”
“It’s Brian.”
My eyes widened. “No, I don’t like him. Like I said, I hate boys and they are idiots! Brian is an idiot too. And you are too,” I said and glared at Josh.
“How long would you live in denial?”
“How long would you live in la la land?”
“Accept it. You’re attracted to him.”
“I’m not! Gemma is. Did you even notice how she looks at him. Like she’s gonna eat him up any second. And even Brian gives her so much attention. He talks to her? all? the time.”
“Wow… you’re quite observant, aren’t you? Why? Are you jealous?” Josh smirked at me.
“Pssh, who are you calling jealous? And it was so damn obvious that Gemma likes Brian. But I think you yourself are jealous of Gemma. I can understand Josh, and I fully support you.”
“What are you talking about?” He asked, puzzled.
“It’s okay. But you’ve got to accept the truth. You’ve got to come out of the closet!” His bewildered face made me laugh. I burst out laughing and he leaned closer to me and smacked me lightly on the head.
“Ow,” I rubbed the side of my head where he just hit. It didn’t hurt but he hit me! That asshole. I was going to get him for that!
“I’m not gay!” He whisper yelled so that the teacher wouldn’t notice us talking.
“I know! You don’t need to hit me for that.”
Idiot. I know he was not gay but I needed to change the subject.
“I’m not gay but you definitely like him,” He said after a while.
Why couldn’t he just get this in his tiny, non-existent brain that Brian and I were never going to be a thing? EVER!
“Josh shut up! She doesn’t like him. Why would she? He appears like a playboy to me. And he’s already got his eyes on Gemma. He doesn’t deserve Brooke.” Darren said, his tone serious. He was staring at me so I looked away. “Brooke can’t like him. You don’t like him, right?”
“Um… no,” I said. I felt a bit strange. Darren never acted this way. He never acted so serious. It was weird. I decided to drop it.
The class ended and it soon was lunch break. I hadn’t talked to Brian since morning. I didn’t see him anywhere. Was he absent from school?
My questions were answered once we were all seated at our usual table and he was sitting with us too. He didn’t look at me. I slid in a seat far away from him.
I would not be the first to start talking to him. He should be. I want to talk to him but my ego wouldn’t let me. I was going to ignore him.
Soon enough, Gemma came too and as usual, Brian was talking to her. They were growing too close, too fast. I didn’t know why but it bothered me.
Halfway through lunch break, I realised that I wasn’t ignoring him, I was the one being ignored. Was he that mad at me?
He acted as if I didn’t even exist. He didn’t look at me a single time.
That hurt me, I’d admit.
So he did regret being my friend. I thought that he realised that I was boring and not as good as Gemma.
My heart sank. First Claire left me for Jesse. Now Brian for Gemma. Was I going to lose all of my friends this way? Because of the way I was?
My vision started to get blurry and I was on the verge of tears. I didn’t like it when my friends ignored me. I quickly blinked the tears away before they could fall off from my eyes. I wouldn’t cry because of this. I didn’t need anyone in my life to be happy. I didn’t need him!
“Hey Brian, Brooke is not coming to the party tomorrow. You two could hang out. You’re not going to the party, right?” Josh asked Brian. Darren visibly stiffened beside me but I was more concerned with what the hell Josh was saying.
My eyes widened as I looked at Josh. What was that idiot doing?
He threw me a sideways smirk. I was so going to kill him.
“I’m not going to the party,” He said and for the first time today, looked over at me as if he knew only then that I was present at the table too. My heart fluttered when we made the barely two second eye contact before he looked away.
“Actually, I’m not coming too and Brian and I had made plans to hang out at my place,” Gemma said and looked over at me. “But Brooke can join us,” she added and everyone turned to look at me.
I looked at Gemma. She was quietly mouthing ‘Please? say no’ to me. I looked away from her, subconsciously tucking my fingers into a fist under the table.
Of course she’d want to be alone with him. I’d be the third wheel with them and I honestly didn’t want to see how Brian would flirt with her and completely ignore me.
“Um… I have so much homework that needs to completed so I can’t come. But you two enjoy,” I said, looking down at my plate.
I looked back up to see that Josh was frowning at me. “No way. You can do that on Sunday. You, Brian and Gemma are going to hang out together.”
“No I don’t want to. I want to be alone and complete my work. Bye,” I said as I got up and left the table.
I took my books from my locker and walked to my next class. I was feeling very lonely lately. I knew it was because of Claire. She didn’t even talk to me often now. I didn’t have any girl friend now. I didn’t count Gemma as my friend. She was so annoying and I thought she could care less if we were not there. She just wanted Brian.
I was early to class. There were a few students, the studious ones and the nerds. I was neither of them. I didn’t get straight A’s in all the subjects but I was not that bad in it either.
A few minutes later, Gemma entered the class. Oh right, I forgot I shared English with her. She sat with me, surprising me. She actually never did sit with me. She was always with her girl gang when she wasn’t with us, actually when she wasn’t with Brian.
“Hi,” She greeted, smiling a little too over enthusiastically.
I fake-smiled at her, “Hey.”
“I hope you’re not angry at me for not inviting you at my house,” she said sheepishly.
“Nope, I’m not.”
“Oh thank God. I thought you were mad at me.”
“But why don’t want me to come? Is Brian coming?” I asked nonchalantly. But the truth was I did care and I hated that I did.
“It’s not like I don’t want you to come. It’s just that…” She hesitated, biting down on her lip.
“What? You can tell me anything.”
“You won’t tell anyone, right? Especially Brian, please,” She pleaded placing her hand on mine.
I smiled at her. “No, I won’t tell anyone. I’m good at keeping secrets.”
“Thanks. I trust you. I haven’t even told my friends about this and I guess you are the first person I’m telling this.”
“What is it?” I asked, getting impatient.
“I like Brian. I mean, a lot. I like him a lot. I have a big crush on him,” She admitted and I could see her cheeks getting red.
I was shocked. I didn’t expect her to say that so soon. I mean it was just two weeks that she’d been with us and already she had a ‘big crush’ on Brian. I didn’t doubt it though. Brian was undeniably hot and I hate to admit this, but he really was a good person. I was not at all surprised that she liked him.
“Brooke?”
I snapped out of my thoughts and looked at her. She was waiting for me to say something. I didn’t know what to say to her.
“Oh,” Was all I could muster up.
She looked at me strangely.
“You okay?”
“Yeah.”
“So…” She drawled. “What do you think? Do you think we have any chance of being together?”
“Uh… I don’t know. It depends on Brian. Whether he likes you or not.”
“It’s hard to tell. He gives me attention. He talks to me. He sometimes flirts with me. But I don’t know how he feels about me. I think he only thinks of me as a friend,” She said sadly.
“You never know. He might like you not as a friend, but something… more,” I said quietly and she smiled at me.
“I hope.”
And I hope not.
The teacher entered the class and began teaching but I wasn’t paying attention. I seemed to do that a lot lately now, not paying attention to the class. I was so disturbed by what Gemma had said.
She liked Brian.
She liked him.
She…
Why was I so… ugh, I don’t even have words for it.
But I was unhappy. I was unhappy that Gemma had feelings for Brian. And I didn’t know if he returned her feelings.
As soon as the class got over, I literally ran out of the class. I didn’t want to hear Gemma rant about how she was so lovey dovey over Brian already.
Thank God it was the last class. I quickly went over to my car and pulled out of the school.
I didn’t know why I was so upset with her. And even if I knew, I didn’t want to admit it.
I didn’t care if she liked him.
I didn’t care.
I DIDN’T CARE! RIGHT?