Loosing something you never had might sound easy but it is hard to let go if you knew that it could have been something good.
Ava will never know what it would feel like to have a brother again. Is she hurting? More than she will ever admit. What gives her comfort is to be reunited with the rest of her family.
Her sister has just presented us with a letter that Adam wrote before the dreadful tragedy. Ava ever so bravely has told her that she can go ahead and read it to all of us here.
Lucy ~”Before I read it I just want to say and I am sure I speak for mom and dad too, that Adam loved you so dearly even long after you disappeared and he did so until the very day that he died.”
I watch her as she moves uncomfortably around in her seat. I slowly lace my fingers in hers and squeeze her hand real tight.
Trayton ~”I know you can do this baby girl, I am here with you. If you want to stop then tell me and we immediately will.”
Ava ~”I will be fine baby. Lucy you can go ahead.”
Adam ~”Hey sis, or should I say my little princess. What I remember most about you is the little fairy dresses you use to wear. If you are holding this, then my road has sadly come to an end. I tried to hang on, I promise you I really tried to. The day I received the news that you were okay, I knew I could put my soul to rest. But it did not mean that I could carry on living with the horrible things that had happened to you. In fact finding out what that monster really did broke my heart completely. I was supposed to protect you. I was supposed to not leave you there. But I did and in doing so my recklessness broke out family in million pieces. I was responsible for every tear mom and dad cried. I was the reason that Lucy hid in her closet. But most of all I was the reason that allowed a man to keep you prisoner in a basement. I am so sorry for what he did to you. For every single ounce of pain and heartache you felt. I know that you probably fought back real hard. That is what I have always admired about you, your strength. When Lucy and I always use to fight and hurt each other, you made everything better. When I broke mom’s little porcelain doll, you were the one that took the blame for it. You are the best sister I could ever have asked for. When I heard you were going to become a mommy, my heart cried out in happiness for you. You are going to be a great mother and you have a good man that will be just as great of a father. So I am sorry. I am sorry that you are reading this wherever you find yourself this day. I tried to be strong, I tried to fight but most of all I tried to forgive. I really ask that from the most bottom of your heart, if you can find it to ever to forgive me. I hope you have two healthy little baby bugs and that Trayton will treat you like a princess. You mean the world to me sis. I love you with all my heart Maddi. Love Adam.”
She is trying to be brave, but I can see the tears are building beyond stopping in her eyes. As Lucy hands her the letter, she finally bursts out in tears. I pull her close to me and lay her head on my chest.
Trayton ~”Baby girl do you want me to take you home.”
Ava ~”Baby we can’t just leave.”
Trayton ~”It is your rehearsal dinner, you can do whatever you want.”
Ava ~”Can we stay for just another hour then we can go?”
Trayton ~”Of course but promise me if you want to go sooner you will let me know.”
Ava ~”I promise you baby.”
An hour goes by and we decide to head home. She is feeling drained from all the crying and being up and down the whole day has exhausted her body.
When we get home I take her straight to bed. I help her into her pajamas and go downstairs to get her strawberry milk. By the time I get back up to the room she is fast asleep already. I sit next to her and tuck a loose lock of hair behind her ear.
I slowly bend down and whisper to her.
Trayton ~”Everything is going to be okay my princess.”
I get up to undress and slide behind her into bed. I gently place my hand on her tummy and fall straight to sleep.
Morning comes and Ava is gone. I immediately start to panic. Before I jump out of bed and dash downstairs, I remember what day it is…
Today is my wedding day…
Today my life is about to change, they say that life is made up of a series of defining moments and this is one of them. Today will define me as a man, but more importantly as a father.
To say that I am not nervous would be an understatement, in fact I am near damn close to fainting. I am so nervous I cannot get my legs to move out of bed. The last thing I should do is be late on my own wedding day.
I throw on some sweats and start making my way down to the kitchen where the rest of the boys are eagerly waiting.
Kenton ~”Okay you are not dressed which means you are going to be late.”
Trayton ~”Relax Trayton we have a whole two hours.”
Dominic ~”In fact it is only one, we tried waking you up an hour ago and you told us to fuck off.”
Trayton ~”God I thought I was dreaming.”
Kenton ~”Well get your dreaming ass upstairs and into that shower.”
I thought I had two hours to prepare myself for this. An hour is not enough. What if I decide in the next fifteen minutes before I put that tux on that I cannot do this? It is not enough time to stop it. I need more time. An hour is not enough. I need more time.
But I cannot ponder this, I need to get into the shower. I can think in the shower, I have always been able to think clearer in the shower. Why has this gotten so complicated all of the sudden?
What I thought would clear my head did not help, now I am pacing up and down, my heels are wearing out the carpet. I grab my phone and decide to text Ava.
Trayton ~”Hey you.”
Ava ~”Hey you yourself.”
Trayton ~”Baby can we do this?”
Ava ~”Baby I don’t know. Are you feeling that you can’t?”
Trayton ~”I am just very nervous. I don’t want us to make a mistake.”
Ava ~”I don’t know if we are but if we are you are the only one I would want to make this mistake with.”
Trayton ~”You are right my princess. Let me get dressed. I will see you in half an hour.”
I drop my phone on the bed and start putting on my tux. Next there is a knock on the door.
Kenton ~”Are you ready bro?”
Trayton ~”Yes more than ever. Let’s get me to church, I have a wedding to get to.”
Fifteen minutes to go
We just got to the venue and it is absolutely breath-taking. There are white flowers everywhere from white lilies to white roses. There is a white path that leads from the entrance up to the alter, this too is scattered with flowers.
We find the priest and make our way to wait at the altar, it is covered in more white flowers with beautiful drapes of white chiffon.
Now the wait begins.
It is ten minutes to go.
I feel like I am going to faint. This damn bowtie has gotten so tight and I swear the heat has turned up a couple of degrees.
It is five minutes to go.
All the guests are eagerly waiting Ava’s arrival.
I have start pacing again. I am pulling at my tie and try to straighten my pants, even though there is nothing wrong with it. My hands are sweaty and I think I have stopped breathing.
It is on the hour. It is time to start.
But where is Ava?
Now I am really starting to panic.
Five minutes go by and she is nowhere to be seen.
Another five.
The priest is looking nervous.
Where is Ava?
Then… she appears in the entrance and my heart relaxes.
She is looking breath-taking. I did not believe but now I see how beautiful a pregnant woman can look in a wedding dress.
She went for something simple. Beautiful lace at the top with layers of chiffon flowing around her. A big band of ribbon around her chest. Her big baby bump for all too see, a beautiful bride and an even prouder mom.
She makes her way up the carpet. It is like she is floating on air. As she comes to a standstill next to me, I swear my heart skipped a beat.
I look at her in those beautiful eyes and whisper in her ear.
Trayton ~”You definitely look like a princess today.”
We face the priest and he starts the proceedings. Half of if it I do not pay attention too as I am worried about saying my vows.
Priest Maxwell ~”I believe you have written your vows? Can you start first Trayton?”
I scratch around my pocket for the piece of paper with my vows but I cannot find it. It hits me, I left it on the dressing table. Well here goes nothing, this is going to be raw and straight from the heart.
Trayton ~”Ava, I did not fall in love with you, I walked into love with you, with my eyes wide open. I chose to take every step along the way with you. I do believe in fate and destiny, but I also believe we are only fated to do things that we’d choose anyway. And I would choose you; in a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds, in any version of reality, I would find you and choose you.”
I can see the tears swell in her eyes. She reaches out her hand to take mine.
Ava ~”Trayton, in your heart I have found my love. In your soul, I have found my mate. With you, I am whole, full, and alive. You make me laugh. You let me cry. You are my breath, my every heartbeat. I once told you that I believed in fate and it is that fate that have brought us together. Even if I lived I million lifetimes I believe fate will still bring me you. I love you so much more than you ever know.”
Trayton ~”I love you too my princess.”
Priest Maxwell ~”Now we come to the most senseless part of these proceedings but I have to ask. If there is any man or woman that object to this union, speak now or forever hold your peace.”
It is dead quiet.
Just before the priest can speak again there is a voice coming out the crowd that I do not recognize. As I turn around I see two men I do not know walking up to me.
Samuel Burns ~”Trayton DeCarlo.”
Rick Brown ~”You are under arrest for murder.”