I can still remember that day she proposed to me. But let’s not forget about my failed attempt to propose to her. Or should we maybe say our poor attempts to go out for dinner. We both did not know much about love, how to do it and how to act it. We both know we felt it but were too scared to even say it. If I recall I had that little habit of telling her in her sleep. Well look at us now. We don’t doubt our love, we are just not sure when to unite it.
Trayton ~”Baby girl I think I have had a few tiny little heart attacks. Please let a man out of his misery.”
Ava ~”Oh Fuck. Shit. Wow. Aaahhh that fell so funny.”
Trayton ~”Uhm I don’t quite get what you saying. Is that a yes?”
Ava ~”No. Yes. Fuck. Just give me your hand here. Quickly!”
Very much confused at her random ramblings, I let her take my hand into hers. She takes it gently and places it on her tummy.
Trayton ~”Baby girl what…”
Ava ~”Ssshhh keep quiet, just feel.”
The palm of my hand is resting on her tummy. It feels soft but hard all at the same time. I must admit even maybe a bit bigger than I noticed the day before. She has her tiny hand wrapped over mine keeping it in place. I am confused at what she is trying to say.
And then…
I feel it…
Trayton ~”Holy shit! What the fuck? Is that?”
Ava ~”Yes that is.”
Trayton ~”Did I just feel a baby move?”
Ava ~”Yes baby you did.”
Trayton ~”Fuck ask him to do it again.”
Ava ~”Who says it is him? It might be her.”
Trayton ~”Well do you want your girl to be a football player?”
Ava ~”Hahaha good luck with that. We already have one reckless one in the family. My baby bugs aren’t following in daddy’s footsteps.”
I stop moving my hand and the little bump stop moving too. Just as I start lifting my hand inch by inch away one of the baby bugs kick me right in the palm of my hand again.
Trayton ~”Oh my god baby girl, did you feel that?”
Ava ~”It is amazing, isn’t it?”
Trayton ~”Baby I don’t think amazing is the word.”
Nothing can describe that feeling. There is two little people inside her and we made that, me and her. That is something that no one can take away. Now more than ever do I want to give her and our babies the best in the world.
I think, no, I know that we are going to be great parents. We both might have come from our own kind of broken homes but we know what family means. I will never allow her and my baby bugs experience that pain. I might not always be there but for as long and even after I live, I will make sure that they are always happy.
Should I really be putting pressure on her for us to get married? I mean we are always going to be together. But what if we are not. Will I really allow another man to raise my children? I should not even think this way, our love is real and I know it will last forever. I just so desperately want to make her mine, mine and only mine.
I remember that first night I saw her, I can recall saying those very words, that she is mine and only mine. And look where we are, if I was not that stubborn man whore that believed that everything and everyone belonged to him then I would have never had her.
But she surely put on a chase. I don’t know if it was me trying to prove her wrong that I will get her or that little thing called fate. At some stage I even believed that karma was being a bitch playing stupid ass jokes on me. Whatever it was, it has all lead up to this moment and many more moments like that to come.
So the question begs.
Trayton ~”Which one was it?”
Ava ~”What do you mean which one was it?”
Trayton ~”Yes or No? Oh and don’t forget the fuck.”
Ava ~”Hahaha nice try, definitely not the fuck.”
Trayton ~”You just wait until these babies are born.”
Ava ~”You are going to forget all of that once they are here.”
Trayton ~”Somehow I don’t think so.”
This takes me back to how stubborn she was for me to even touch her. The very first time I wanted to kiss her she so non-discreetly told me that she does not know where my mouth has been. Not to even mention the sex, it took me far harder and far too longer to get what I want but god was it worth it. And now more than ever we both know that it was one of the best chases I ever did in my life.
Ava ~”Okay Mr DeCarlo when can I become your wife?”
Trayton ~”Are you shitting me? Are you serious? Are you going to wear a wedding dress with your fat bum?”
Ava ~”Trayton! Did you just call my bum fat?”
Trayton ~”It is wobbly and fat baby.”
Ava ~”You better take that back!”
Trayton ~”Or else what? You’re too slow to catch me.”
Ava ~”Trayton! I am not slow or wobbly. I am pregnant!”
Trayton ~”You are a slow wobbly pregnant lady.”
Ava ~”Are you making fun of me?”
Trayton ~”Just maybe a little bit.”
Ava ~”I am going to make fun of you when you have a shitty diaper in your hand.”
Trayton ~”I think you have it wrong. The woman changes the diapers.”
Ava ~”You seriously need to give me that book you are reading, it is putting crap in your head.”
Trayton ~”Ok but seriously now. Are we really doing this? Are you really going to get married to me now?”
Ava ~”Well when is now?”
Trayton ~”Maybe in the next couple of weeks? I mean how much bigger can you get?”
Ava ~”Trayton.”
She pulls me closer into her arms and shift as close as her belly allows into my waist. Her arms wrap around my broad shoulders as she gives me a gentle hug. She places her lips against mine, they are soft and taste like little hints of vanilla and honey. She leans into my ear and whispers.
Ava ~”I love you.”
Trayton ~”I love you too baby girl.”
Ava ~”Let’s make it in two weeks’ time?”
Trayton ~”What? Two weeks? Can you seriously pull this all together in two weeks?”
Ava ~”Baby I have been preparing for this since the day you put this ring on my finger.”
Trayton ~”Then it is two weeks then.”
Ava ~”What do you say we go phone my parents now?”
Trayton ~”I just know your dad is going to be very happy baby girl.”
I just hope that she will be able to speak to her mom. Since the very first time we phoned her family, it is only her dad that she has wanted to speak to. She said that in a way it was her fault for what happened to her family. That it was her fault that her mom lost not only a daughter but also a son. Unfortunately throughout all this time her brother has not found it in him to forgive himself.
To me it seems there is a lot of blaming to go around in this family. Her brother is still in rehab and I understand now why she says a couple of weeks. He will be coming out in a couple of weeks and I guess she wants to see him when he hits rebound again. I am sure if he sees her that it would give him a reason to stay clean. It is just her mom that my heart bleeds the most for.
We both head out the lounge and go make our way to the office. She always prefers phoning them when she is alone, well with me.
She takes my phone and start dialling the number.
Richard Owens ~”Hey Maddi.”
Ava ~”Hey daddy. How are you guys doing?”
Richard Owens ~”Oh we are fine. We went to visit your brother today. He seems to be doing really well.”
Ava ~”That is good to hear. Is he still coming out in a couple of weeks’ time?”
Richard Owens ~”He has got thirteen days to go. How is your little ones doing?”
Ava ~”Just wonderful daddy. We felt them move a few minutes ago. I nearly thought I was peeing my pants.”
Richard Owens ~”Hahaha your mom always use to say that.”
Ava ~”Where is mom?”
Richard Owens ~”She is in the kitchen busy making some tea. I will tell her you say hi.”
Ava ~”If it is not a problem, please can I speak to her?”
I think I must not have heard her right but did she just say she wants to speak to her mom. We have been working towards this day for weeks and weeks and she is finally taking this step on her own.
I do know her mom is going to be happy but how is Ava going to handle it. The last thing we need is for her to crumble.
She hid her secret from me for so well for so long and did a very good job keeping me at arm’s length the entire time in the beginning of our relationship. If I did not do the scratching I did, I would have never found out who she really was but then again my meddling lead the very thing she was running from back to her. And when he got her again, her life crumbled and so did she. I am not raising my children while their mother is in a home.
Trayton ~”Baby girl are you sure you are ready for this?”
Ava ~”Yes baby, my baby bugs need a grandma and my stupid insecurities cannot keep them away from her.”
Trayton ~”Baby girl you don’t have stupid insecurities. Please remember that none of it was your fault.”
Ava ~”And none of it is my mom’s fault and I think she needs to hear that.”
Trayton ~”I am here, I won’t let you do it alone baby girl.”
She comes to stand between my arms. I lift to sit on the desk and she rests her body between my legs. She takes a deep breath as she is about to speak.
Teresa Owens ~”Hi Ava.”
She hesitates for a few seconds. I can feel her left hand trembling in mine as she clenches the phone with the right. I slowly take the phone from her hand and lay it down on the table.
Trayton ~”You can do this baby girl.”
I take the phone and put it on speaker. I pull her even closer into me. I can feel her body relax from my touch, her hands stop trembling and her breathing calms down.
Ava ~”Hi mommy.”
Teresa Owens ~”How are you doing my baby? How is your babies doing?”
Ava ~”We are all fine including Trayton over here.”
Teresa Owens ~”Hi Trayton.”
Trayton ~”Hello Mrs Owens.”
Teresa Owens ~”Please stop calling me Mrs Owens. You old enough to be my son.”
Ava ~”That is actually why we phoning but first I want to say something. I know that it was no one’s fault what happened but I am really sorry it had to happen to our family.”
Teresa Owens ~”Oh baby I know. We all know. It was that horrible man not you. Please don’t ever think it was you. And don’t ever think that we forgot. We never forgot about you.”
Ava lays her head deep into my neck as she starts to cry. I can feel her tears roll down my neck as she softly sobs and lets out the pain. I just know those horrible memories are returning to her again. She does not deserve this. No matter what I do, I can never take that pain away.
That was the worst time we ever had in our life so far together and to lose her the way I did after it nearly killed us both. But we got through it like we always did and if it should ever happen again then we will get through it again.
After a few minutes she is ready to speak again.
Ava ~”Mommy, we are getting married in two weeks, please can you come to my wedding?”