I yawn, stretching my legs, resting my head on the handle of the couch, folding into myself.
“Are you cold?”, Nikhil glances my way.
“No. Just tired”, I resist the urge to do a complete whole body stretch.
He glances at his mobile, “I should leave now.”
I laugh, “That’s not what I meant.”
“It’s after four”, he shrugs.
“I don’t mind”, I say, but after a thought, “It’s another thing if it’s getting late for you.”
I try to keep my face as blank as possible when I feel Nikhil’s gaze on me, wholly.
“What?”, I mumble when he turns to the side, facing me.
He only shakes his head, tucking hair behind my ear, my tiredness vanishing in an instant when he starts to stroke the skin of my neck.
My breath hitches when Nikhil circles his arm around my waist, pulling me so close our chests touched, our legs dangling off the couch.
He merely stares at my face, smiling softly, “You have no idea what you do to me, Sandy.”
I smile back, shifting closer to him, my eyes closing involuntarily when he nears me.
My hand goes into his hair as Nikhil presses his mouth against mine, our bodies pressed against each other as our mouths collide against the others’, lips meshing, tongues stroking.
I let out a moan as Nikhil peppers kisses along my throat, extending my neck to get better access. My eyes roll back in pleasure as he sucks at the junction of my neck and shoulder, pleasure quickly fueling my body.
I sigh in relief when Nikhil cups the sides of my waist, pulling me on top of him, as I straddle him.
We continue to kiss in the newer, more intimate position, our hands beginning to explore dangerous territory.
I’m almost high with lust when Nikhil pulls away, our foreheads resting against each others, my hands around his neck, his just above my rear.
“I don’t think it’s a good idea”, Nikhil speaks, his breaths shorter.
Inspite of my cloudy mind, I know he’s right.
Jumping into sex first thing is not a very smart idea.
“It’s not”, I agree, although I make no move to get off him.
It’s like our actions contradict our words as Nikhil shifts, widening his legs as I fit in exactly there.
The both of us moan, our eyes shut as we hug. I slide against him, giving him access as he continues to kiss my neck, his hand disappearing inside the back of my top.
I jump when Nikhil squeezes my waist, stopping our movements, as he clenches his jaw, his other hand on the strap of my bra, “We should really, really stop”, he presses a kiss on my lips, taking a deep breath.
“Yes”, I agree.
“We should take some time before we-”
“Yes”, I wince, the moment slowly turning awkward as I get off him, refusing to make eye contact as I set my T-Shirt right, and he sets his pants.
“I’ll just be back”, I say, running into the washroom, taking deep breaths, as I stand against the closed washroom door.
Holy shit.
What was all that!
I thank the lords that Nikhil has enough self control to know it’s a bad idea for this right now.
Later.
Sex can come a little later.
After I’m sure I’ve calmed down and hoped Nikhil has settled down too, I go back into the living room.
I want to tear my hair in frustration when there’s so much tension in the air.
I stiffen when Nikhil walks towards me, “Hey. It’s alright”, he cups my face, “It’s… fine. We should just… Let’s not try to be too awkward, yeah? We’re looking to be lovers, ultimately, aren’t we?”
I nod, looking into his eyes.
“There’s this attraction between us. And let’s not be under the illusion that these kind of things won’t happen again. So let’s just try to see things differently?”
“Yeah”, I agree.
“Sandy”, Nikhil sighs.
“No”, I laugh, “It is kinda weird.”
“It’s not going to be weird if we don’t make it.”
“Yup. True.”
Nikhil laughs again, cupping my face, surprising me by kissing me again.
He pulls away before I could respond though, cupping my face, “See. Not awkward.”
My face goes red, “Nikhil!”
“Sandy”, He mocks.
“Shut up”, I laugh, wrapping my arms around his waist as I hide my blushing face in his chest.
“I must say I kind of like you like this, all shy.”
I punch his back, looking at him, “Who are you and what have you done to Nikhil?”, I grin.
“He’s right here, in front of you, at your service.”
“Stop flirting now”, I smile.
“I haven’t even started flirting with you”, he grins, wrapping his arms around my waist.
I shake my head, my lips twitching, “Sure.”
“What?”, I ask after some time, when Nikhil only continues to look at me as we hold each other.
“I feel like everything I’ve ever wanted is in my arms right now.”
“Nikhil”, I say, embarrassed.
“Sorry”, he squeezes me once, “Didn’t say it to make you uneasy.”
“You didn’t”, I assure him, “I really really like you, you know?”, I smile.
“And I really, really l-“, he clears his throat, though I could guess what he wanted to say, “like you too, you know?”
For the first time in months, I feel my heart at ease, as we stand in each others’ arms, smiling silly at each other, making the randomest confessions.
“Okay stop being cute Sandy”, Nikhil grins.
My jaw drops, “Excuse me. I am cute. All the time.”
“I beg to differ”, Nikhil teases.
“Haww. Take it back”, I say.
“No. What will you do?”
“I will.. I will”, I retreat my hands, aiming to deliver a punch when he grabs it.
“Tsk tsk. You were saying something?”
There’s a smile on my face as Nikhil laughs, carefree.
“I will”, I think, “I move away from him, “I will not-”
Nikhil waves his hand, “Don’t say stuff like you won’t kiss me Sandy. It’s too old school.”
I try to hide behind my hair, my cheeks pink, “Go to hell”, I hiss, “Stop teasing me.”
“But I’m not”, Nikhil grins, holding both of my hands in one of his, “I wasn’t lying when I said you’re cute.”
“But I’m cute all the time.”
“You’re not. Let’s be honest now.”
“Which guy says his gir-“, I freeze, “I… I mean-”
Nikhil smiles gently, “It’s alright. You don’t have to complete the sentence.”
He really deserves better.
But since he’s stuck with me now, I refuse to give him away.
“Just… give me sometime. I’ll be there”, I’m looking at our hands for some reason, unable to look him in the eye.
“Never feel guilty about you feel Sandy. I mean it , never”, Nikhil cups my face, making me look at him, ” You’re directly feeling guilty about your principles if you feel guilty about the way you feel, the way you handle things. Let’s just deal with things as they come. Don’t stress about unnecessary things right now. The both of us have an idea as to where we stand, and that’s enough, right?”
I nod, “Yeah.”
Even though I agree with him, it doesn’t stop me from thinking about it.
I like Nikhil.
I’m happy with him.
We’d kissed already.
Physically, I’m fine with him.
Emotionally, we understand each other.
Then, what is stopping me from letting him all in?