Then I look at you
And the world’s alright with me
Just one look at you
And I know it’s gonna be
A lovely day (lovely day, lovely day, lovely day, lovely day)
I groan, turning to the other side, placing a pillow over my head.
A lovely day (lovely day, lovely day, lovely day, lovely day)
“I think you should replace the word Day with Night, Anshu”, I sit up, clutching my head.
“Oh shut up.”
“Why are you screeching like a harpy?”
“It’s such a good day.”
“The day had just started, “I raise an eyebrow, “You mean it was such a good night?”
Anshu tries to smother me with the pillow on my lap, “Don’t dull my vibe. I’m feeling vibrant today”, she spreads her arms, moving them as though trying to fly them like wings.
“Just because you had a good lay”, I mumble, cocooning myself in my blanket.
“Aww”, Anshu pulls my cheeks, “Wait for some time honey. Who knows, your time might be near too.”
The fact that Nikhil’s face was the first thing that came into my head made me blush.
“Very funny”, I try hard to keep a straight face.
We talk about nothing and everything, enjoying a lazy morning.
“So”, I drag the ‘So’, with Anshu and I sitting next to each other, “I was thinking…”
Anshu groans, “You are not thinking, if you’re actually thinking what I think you’re thinking about.”
I frown, “Listen to me.”
“Don’t. It’s a bad idea.”
“But you didn’t even know what I’m going to talk about”, I protest.
My best friend gives me a hard look, “Are you not talking about calling Dhruv?”
I give her a blank stare, “I am”, I mumble.
“Sandy”, Anshu takes in a deep breath, “It’s a terrible idea. You are doing good now. Why do you want to talk to Dhruv now? Just let things be.”
“But I think I should-”
“Talk what?”, my best friend snaps, glaring at me, “Oh Hello Dhruv, I was desperately waiting for your call initially, and then blocked your ass because I realized it’s silly. And now that you spoke to Nikhil, I want to know your intentions. Is that what you want to talk about?”
“Don’t be ridiculous”, I say, irritated, “I don’t care if he wants to be with me again.” I clear my throat, looking away when Anshu gives me a pointed look, “Okay fine. So what’s the big deal. I just want to know why he didn’t call earlier.”
“Can you hear yourself?”, Anshu hisses, grabbing my arm, “How does it matter why he didn’t call? You’re fine now, happy. You even started liking Nikhil. What the hell does bringing Dhruv in between mean?”
“It’s not like th-”
“It’s exactly like that. You’re inviting unwanted problems into your life. You don’t need them right now. Have you forgotten how mean he was to you? Why the hell do you want to talk to him?”
“So what?”, I exclaim, “You’re making it sound like I want to get back with him. I’m not going to do that. I don’t understand why you are so against it.”
“Don’t come crying to me when the unexpected happens”, Anshu stands up, slamming the door behind her as she walks away.
I fling the sheets off me, pissed off.
***
I stare at myself in the glass, hoping to look alright. I swallow the lump in my throat, setting my hair straight as I try to appear normal.
I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to block the conversation I had minutes ago.
“Hello.”
“Hey. Hi Sandy. I was trying to reach you.”
“Yeah. I heard. What did you want to talk about?”
“Straight to the point, huh?”, Dhruv laughs, “Well”, he pauses.
“What is it?”
“I was thinking if… we could start over?”
“What?”
“I didn’t have the courage to ask you the last few weeks. And when I gathered the courage, I couldn’t reach you. What do you think Sandy?”
“Dhruv… I don’t think it’s a good idea.”
“Don’t you like me anymore?”
Nikhil’s face flashes before me eyes, “No. I don’t. And I would really appreciate it if you would leave this topic here.”
“Is there someone else?”
“It’s not your business.”
“Nikhil?”
“Like I said, it’s none of your business.”
He lets out a laugh, “Good one Sandy. If that’s what you want.”
“I do”, I’m surprised when a tear rolls my eye.
“Okay then”, Dhruv pauses, “But I really wish you give is another chance Sandy.”
I keep quiet, not saying anything, ” Let’s not talk about it. I like Nikhil, Dhruv. And I don’t want you to come in between us.”
“Goodbye Sandy.”
“Bye.”
The conversation wasn’t exactly very upsetting per say. But I found it weird and confusing. He’s my ex. I’m bound to have some kind of friendship for him.
Though I’m not sad because of him, I’m not in my brightest mood too. It’s just something. Being in a path of liking a guy and my ex confessing to want a relationship is not a very ideal situation.
I take a deep breath, my mood dropping further as I remember the argument with Anshu. I curse to myself, irritated.
I sigh, sipping on my coffee, tired. I know luck wasn’t on my side when I heard a voice.
“Hey.”
I groan, “Hi Nikhil.”
“Everything okay?”, he asks when we don’t talk anything the next few minutes.
“Yeah”, I nod.
“Sure?”
“Ye-“, I look towards my mobile next to me, reading a text notification, Anshu’s.
Spoke to Dhruv?
I heave a sigh when I hear Nikhil shifting, looking at me with eyes full of questions.
“You spoke to Dhruv?”
I nod, “I did.”
“Oh”, Nikhil runs a hand through his hair, ” That’s the reason you’re upset. Too much to think?”
I just stare at him, not saying anything.
“Don’t you want to know what we spoke about?”, “I ask after a while.
Nikhil shakes his head, “I don’t, Sandy.”
I keep quiet, my face falling, as I gulp a lump down my throat.
“Sandy”, Nikhil squeezes my hand, “I’m always here for you. But… please understand that it’s difficult for me to comfort you when you’re crying over another man.”
“Nikhil”, Tears flood my eyes, making my vision blurry.
Nikhil only smiles, “You seem tired. Let’s talk later Sandy.”
I watch through glassy eyes as he walks away from me.
***
I stare at the water, unable to understand why I’m so upset.
I will myself to keep my mind blank, sighing.
“Are you serious? Do you have any sense or not?”
I give Anshu a startled look when I find her sitting next to me, taking fast breaths.
“What?”
“Don’t you have the sense to intimate about your whereabouts? ”
“I said I wanted to be alone.”
She shrugs, “We could be alone together.”
I turn to my best friend, my lips twitching.
“Yeah yeah. I know I’m awesome”, she flips her hair, ” Give me details now.”