“Stop hugging me Anshu. I’m fine.”
“How dare Nikhil pounce on you that way, especially in my absence!”
I roll my eyes.
“You should have texted me, at least”, Anshu exclaims, “I would have given him a piece of my mind.”
“I’m just so done dude. This is too much drama for me to handle.”
“Sandy, I’m sure Nikhil didn’t mean it, like he said. It was probably a slip of tongue.”
Anshu knows how much importance I give to words. I take things at a face value, unless I know the person like the back of my hand.
I raise an eyebrow, “I’m sure you can’t randomly blurt out stuff like that.”
“It’s okay Sandy. Go slap him once again and ask him not to dare to talk that way to you again.”
“If there’s an award for the best crap advice, it would go to you.”
“I’m fine. Don’t stare at me like that”, I snap when Anshu just looks at me, through me.
When Anshu continues to stare at me, I gulp the lump in my throat, pulling her into a hug, “So what if he wished he didn’t like a girl like me? So what if he thinks I’m selfish? So what, Anshu?”, I shed a few tears in my best friend’s arms , “I know what I am . I know my intentions were pure. It’s his loss of he doesn’t understand me”, I say, pulling away, “So if I know I’m not wrong”, I’m teary eyed when I face my best friend, “Why does it feel like someone is stabbing me?”
“Is something wrong with me?”, I whisper, ugly tears escaping my eyes, my lower lip quivering as doubts creep my mind.
“Shh Sandy”, Anshu tears up, cupping my face, “Nikhil can go to hell. I’m telling you, your best friend. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with you. Nikhil is an idiot to have misread the situation. Don’t pay heed to his words. Heck, any guy would be lucky to have you. And if that bitch can’t see it, it’s his loss”, Anshu says, “Look at me Sandy. You are good just the way you are. Nikhil doesn’t know you like I do. Don’t take his words seriously. Don’t let him get to you. You are tougher than this. We’ll pass through this, Okay?”
I nod, wiping my tears.
***
I wring my hands in nervousness, silently praying my presentation wasn’t as crap as I found it to be.
I couldn’t go through it as thoroughly as I wished because had a headache.
I sigh in relief when my turn is done, packing up for the day.
There’s a grin on my face when my presentation is done, relaxed.
I wince when my head throbs, cupping my forehead as I head to get some coffee. I switch my mobile on, trying to call Anshu, rolling my eyes when she didn’t pick the call. She must be around.
She has this weird habit of not picking the call when she’s close by, say ten to twenty meters.
I enjoy my coffee, lost in my thoughts when I hear someone gossipping next to me.
“Haven’t you heard?”, Girl 1 says.
“I did. But it’s so shocking “, Girl 2 says.
“Even I couldn’t believe it when I heard. But Shashank told me that he was there when it happened “, Girl 3 says.
“Didn’t that girl do something like that last year too?”Girl 1 says.
I roll my eyes, zoning them out. They were gossipping for too long, not coming to the main point.
I freeze when I hear the next statement.
“OBG. Apparently the guy said something to the girl’s friend. So she punched the guy.”
“Anshu”, I curse, picking my bag, going in search of her.
“Hey Sandy”, Anshu grins when I find her near the canteen.
“What the hell did you do? “, I hiss, grabbing her hand.
“What did I do?”, she looks confused.
I narrow my eyes at her, “Some girls were talking that someone from our department punched a guy.”
“And you think it’s me why?”
“Because-“, I stop.
“Chill”, Anshu grins, dropping her arm around my shoulder, “It was me. I punched Nikhil”, she says proudly.
“Anshu”, I glare at her.
“What? He can’t just say anything to you and get away with it”, she shrugs.”Pav bhaji okay for you?”, she orders lunch for the both of us.
“You shouldn’t go around punching people.”
“Says the girl who was crying over that dick.”
“I don’t care about Nikhil, Anshu. What if he hit you back? “, I worry.
“Nah. I had it in control, “She waves my worry away, “I chose a place where people were around. So if he retaliated, I could get away.”
“Why do it in the first place?”, I hiss.
My best friend ignores me, devouring her meal. “You promised you wouldn’t do shit like this again.”
“I couldn’t control myself.”
“Anshu”, I glare at her.
“Chill. I wasn’t alone. Avyukth was with me too.”
“You guys ganged up against him?”, I pale, “You idiots” , I exclaim, “Poor guy, he didn’t even say anything major.”
“Poor guy, huh? That’s why you were crying like that “, Anshu mumbles, “Chill. I punched him just once, unlike Dhruv.”
“Anshu!”
“I know it wasn’t a big deal”, Anshu snaps, “But you were so vulnerable Sandy. And I was so mad at him. He knows you just became normal after that asshole Dhruv. Inspite of that he spoke shit like that”, she shrugs.
“Anshu “, I stress.
“Discussion over. No one can trouble my best friend”, she grins, looping her arm around my neck, squeezing me, “Except me. It’s only my right.”
I find myself laughing, “You are seriously something.”
“It was easy. Nikhil didn’t even resist, you know”, she snickers, “I felt so strong.”
“Did you tell him anything?”, I mumble.
“Awww. Mumma bear worried for Papa bear?”
I glare at her.
“Nothing much. Just how it was insensitive of him to speak so rudely to you. I may or may not have told him that he never loved you if he thinks you are selfish. Also may or may not have given my indirect blessing, but also warned him to keep his tongue in check, with some profanities here and there.”
“You ship us?”I ask, incredulous.
“I’m kind of confused now”, Anshu admits, “I shipped you until yesterday. But seeing you yesterday, I don’t think you should be in a fifty meter radius from any guy, not just Nikhil.”
I frown, “What are you saying?”
“You seemed… depressed in the morning. Though I know that fights are ugly in general, it’s reaction to the fight that’s important. He said he loves you. But your argument wasn’t very… constructive if you guys didn’t patch up. You’re still in the middle ground. It’s like, you’ve neither patched up completely nor kicked him out of your life for good. I know these reactions are extreme. But I don’t know which way you are inclined to, though I can guess.”
“I never saw you break down like that Sandy. So I think you should take some time to sort out your feelings, without rushing. That’s the best bet right now. And if Nikhil doesn’t understand that you need time, he’s not the guy for you.”
My heart twists at her words, although I know she’s right.
“Yeah”, I nod.” You think … I and Nikhil are not a good idea?”, I look at my plate.
“What I think doesn’t matter. What you think is important.”
“I’m asking you.”
“The dude actually likes you, I guess. He looked proper distressed when I spoke to him today, and he didn’t really mind that I woman-handled him. I think it’ll be nice if you guys are together. But it’s kind of messy righg now”, she twitches her nose, “The asshole Dhruv appears out of nowhere all the time!”
I nod, distracted.
“That toxic piece of shit. Why can’t he leave you alone?”, Anshu exclaims.
“At this point, I find Nikhil tox-”
“Sandy Guptha!”, Anshu gasps.
“Fights are not toxic , Sandy”, Anshu explains, “Every relationship is toxic if you see it that way. It’s the effort you put in after the… argument that matters. How much you are willing to sort of your differences, the promises you make to not hurt your significant unless otherwise strictly necessary. It’s the comeback that’s important. If the other person is saying things that they know will hurt you, it’s toxic. But if they try not to hurt you in similar contexts, it’s not toxic. It’s the effort that matters. I’m pretty sure you blurt out utter shit too when you get mad. But it’s when you retrospect, silently promise yourself that you’re not going to hurt the other person, promising to deal with similar issues in a calm, constructive manner is what is important.”
“I don’t blurt out shit when I’m angry. I think before I speak.”
Anshu raises an eyebrow, “That’s why you told him you felt used?”
I open my mouth, and close it multiple times.
“That’s a very hurtful statement Sandy, especially if he honestly loves you, like he said.”
My glare doesn’t do shit as she continues to speak, “You slapped him, called him names. You said you felt used “, she shakes her head, like I’m a goner, “And you indirectly asked him what you should do about Dhruv. That’s just… mean Sandy.”
I refuse to look at the stupid making too much sense in front of me.
“Avyukth would have given me silent treatment for a minimum one week if I did even half the shit you did.”
I glare at her, “You are my friend. Not Nikhil’s.”
Anshu raises an eyebrow, “Pretty sure that’s the reason I punched him and not you when you’re both equally wrong.”
I glower at Anshu, “Shut up.”
“People use that crap comeback when they know they are wrong.”
I sigh, annoyed.
“If you think I’m so wrong why take my side?”, I grumble.
“Awww. Truth stings, doesn’t it?”
“You’re going to get it from me.”
“Don’t worry. I kind of apologized too. So it’s okay.”
I flinch, “Why punch, why apologise?”
Anshu waves the detail away, “That’s like a teaser. You know, like know what you are dealing with kind of thing. Like how Dhruv got, break up with one, and get one extra enemy free.”
I shake my head, “You are hopeless.”
“Didn’t Nikhil say anything?”
Anshu stares at me, “Sandy Guptha, do you have anything to tell me?”
I roll my eyes, “You punched the guy Sandy. I want to know his reaction. You know I’d asked Dhruv’s reaction too.”
“He didn’t say anything. Just said ‘I didn’t mean it. I already apologized to her’. He doesn’t know that you don’t forget things easily. So I gave him that little detail, which may have surprised him a bit. But that doesn’t matter. And told him you would have kissed him if he didn’t say that.”
“What!?”
“Kidding. I didn’t say the last part”, Anshu says, “But you would have kissed him right, if he stopped at the I love you?”
I feel like banging my head against the table, “Why are we talking about this?”
“Just. Curiosity ”
“Idiot”, I mumble.
“And you know what?”
“What?”, I roll my eyes.
“Ask Nikhil to get a brain transplant when you talk to him.”
I give her a confused look, “What?”
“His current one is not working, Sandy. Why on Earth would he tell you that Dhruv asked him to call you up? Like, Hello, first caller here”, she points to herself, rolling her eyes, “Why did he not discuss it with me? Like, Excuse me, Sandy filter here.”
I laugh, “I’m fine Anshu. You don’t have to be a stand-up- um… sit-down comedian.”
“Shut up”, she mumbles.
“On a serious note”, Anshu says, “Do you have plans to call up Dhruv?”
“Not as of now”, I shrug, “Things are already complicated as it is.”
“Good. I knew you were slowly falling into my footsteps of common sense.”