Even though the meeting with Dhruv left me miffed, there was another thing that bothered me.
Nikhil’s parents had called.
Nikhil’s parents had called.
Nikhil’s parents had called.
For marriage.
Has Nikhil gone nuts?
I take a deep breath, annoyed, having too many things to think. I sigh, running a hand through my hair, when I hear another sigh.
I glance at my best friend, “Go to sleep Anshu. I’m fine.”
“Are you?”, she cocked an eyebrow.
“I am o-“, I’m interrupted midway when my mobile rang, again.
“Ma, I cannot make a decision in just a few hours. Give me some breathing time”, I say exasperated, not bothered with a greeting.
“I understand Sandy”, my mother gave a pause, “You know you can tell me if it’s a No right? There’s absolutely no pressure on you.”
“I know Ma”, I sigh again, stretching my limbs as I lie down on the bed.
“If it’s not a No”, my mom hesitates, “Does that mean you are thinking about it in positive terms?”
My mom’s words give me palpitations.
Right. Why am I just not denying right away?, I wonder.
“I’ll… I’ll let you know in two to three days Ma. Give me some time.”
“Okay”, I hear my mother, “Go to bed Sandy.”
“Yeah. Goodnight Ma.”
I shut my eyes, pinching the bridge of my nose, deciding to not think anymore for now.
“Wanna watch The End Of The Fucking World?”
Anshu sighs, jumping on me, “Hell yeah. Let us!”
We were leaning against each other, my head on her shoulder, and hers on my head as I slip into sleep after a few hours, subconsciously playing the days events.
Deep down, I knew I didn’t straight away deny Nikhil because a certain someone asked me to. To directly not heed his words.
*********
I blink my eyes softly, wincing when I felt the strain in my neck, rolling my eyes when I saw Anshu snore softly, her mouth wide open.
Just for the heck of it, I put some of her hair into her mouth, screaming into her ear.
“What? What happened?”, she shot up, placing a hand on her heart, glaring daggers at me when she saw me laughing, “What the fuck Sandy”, she snapped, trying to mug me.
I laugh, wincing when I tried to bend my head, holding her hands away.
We burst out laughing after some weird wrestling, sprawling on my bed.
“Sandy?”
“Hmm.”
“Have you thought about it?”
I didn’t have to be a genius to know that she was talking about the talk with Nikhil’s parents.
I groan, stuffing my face into my pillow, “Not so early in the morning Anshu.”
She rolls her eyes, grabbing my arm into a sitting position, “You’re thinking about what Dhruv said, aren’t you?”
“I’m not thinking about it right now. But since you said, I’m sure I’ll start thinking about it now”, I roll my eyes, getting off the bed.
“How you’re able to even joke about it is beyond me.”
“You expect me to sit and cry for that dick all the time? Especially after yesterday?”, I glare at my best friend.
“Where’s your brain Sandy?”, Anshu snaps, “I’m talking about what Dhruv said about the wedding with Nikhil.”
“Oh”, my shoulders slump, “That.”
“Seriously?”, she mumbles.
“I literally woke up just a while ago. It’s not in me to think of all my life problems as soon as I wake up”, I shut the door to the bathroom.
As I dress after the shower, I find myself thinking about one particular thing. No. Not about Nikhil.
The reason about why I am actually considering it is taking up the energy of most of my brain cells. Am I actually giving it a thought.
Shut it Sandy.
Dhruv asked you not to marry him. And you want to marry him just to prove a point?
Dumb. My subconscious lectured me.
I shut my eyes, irritated that it’s a day off on a Sunday. And I have plenty of time to kill. And neither Anshu nor Avyukth were free.
I ignore the call when my mobile rings, simply turning the screen face down, wanting to be in my own miserable overthinking world.
But when I hear the mobile ring again, I groan, jerking upright when I saw the caller id.
Why the hell is Nikhil calling me?
“Hello?”, I answer, my voice so timid that I found myself clearing my throat.
“Hey Sandy. You free?”
Shit. Is he asking for a meeting?
Think fast Sandy.
“Um. I have OT in about half an hour”, I lie, “I’m not free.”
I hear a laugh, “I didn’t call you to talk to you for half an hour.”
I snap my eyes shut. He meant free to talk on call.
Talk about embarrassment.
“Yeah”, I clear my throat, “What’s the matter?”, though I deep down knew what he was going to say.
“I am coming straight to the point. My parents have taken a liking towards you. And you know Ananya likes you a lot. So I’m unable to put across any valid points at home to reject you. It’s not my place to share your personal affairs”, he pauses, “So please tell your parents that you don’t want to proceed further.”
“Oh”, I say dumbly, my eyes watering. Why? I don’t know.
Don’t spoil Nikhil’s life Sandy.
He doesn’t deserve someone like you. He can do far better.
“Sandy, I…”, he takes a pause, “I don’t have a problem if you’re over Dhruv. But I don’t know your state of mind. I’m sorry if my words hurt you.”
“No. It’s fine”, I say, my voice thick.
Am I PMSing? I look at the calendar.
“I know you that much Sandy, my words hurt you”, Nikhil says softly, as if he was still a good friend of mine, “I was rude when I came to your house. But I cannot do this to myself, especially because I used to li-“, he stops midway.
Especially because I used to like you. I complete the sentence in my head, dread filling me quickly.
“Look Nikhil”, I start, “I understand what you are trying to say”, my eyes tearing up.
Don’t spoil Nikhil’s life Sandy.
He doesn’t deserve someone like you. He can do far better.
“I will ask my parents to refuse the further proceedings”, I say.
“Thank you”, I hate that I could identify relief in his voice, “Goodbye Sandy.”
“Bye”, I swallow the lump in my throat.
I smile, although my heart ached. Older, buried memories quickly reaching surface.
The guy I loved/still probably have remnant feelings for finds me so worthless to be not merely in his, but also his ex-best friend’s life.
And the guy that loved me, overlooked all my imperfections when I was madly in love with his ex-best friend, for whom I broke his heart now doesn’t seem to overlook my imperfections all that perfectly.
Karma really does hit you in the face when you least expect it.
What goes around definitely comes around.