I carried my baby upstairs to breastfeed him, and he was a very cheerful baby who rarely cried unless he was hungry. He makes me happy so I hug him tightly and kissed his cheek. He looks like me. I am so much thankful for having him. He is a gift from heaven.
My heart sank as I saw how quickly he was trying to latch. I wiped away his tears and told him, “Latch slowly, sweetie. No one is going to take your milk from you. It’s all for you baby. I want you to have good health and to be strong so you will breastfeed with me as long as you want.
When he was full, my baby’s mood got better and smiled at me with wide eyes like he wants to tell me something. Oh! My baby is my happiness.
My baby is five months old, and his face grew, turning pink and showing his white skin, which is tender.
When he smiled, my heart felt like it was melting, I touched his face with my soft hands full of love and care. His skin was so smooth and tender.
“Baby, Mommy will take care of you for another month, after that Mommy has a movie to play.”
But don’t worry because I will be spending all my free time with you.
Haden had just returned from a business trip when he walked in.
Him wrapping one arm around Eaden’s body, the father and son staring at each other made me smile. Upon looking at Haden’s reaction he is very happy and glad to hold and touch his firstborn baby boy. Even though he’s tired from work, he makes sure to share his time spending with my baby.
When strangers carry him, Eaden cries, but I didn’t expect that even if his father did not cuddle him for several months, he didn’t cry when he carried him, and I don’t know if the child knows that this person is his father or maybe blood is thicker.
“Eaden, take a good look at me, I am your father.” Haden said softly to his son, “I used to hold you, do you remember me?” I want you to grow healthy and to be a good boy.
As soon as he said this the boy suddenly cried out and screamed, but it was too late.
Baby spit out milk and splashed it right on Haden’s expensive couture shirt. But the father just smiled and didn’t get mad.
Berry rushed over and mopped the floor, “You’re such a good boy.” He said while laughing.
As he stood up and unbuttoned his shirt, he went into the bathroom, Haden changed his clothes and came down. We had dinner together and talked casually about the latest happenings.
Haden and I panned our divorce after I deliver our child and I remained aware of everything we had discussed before. I know that he still remembers this thing. Maybe he really won’t approve this plan we have made before, judging based on what is happening now. And I too if possible don’t want the divorce to happen. I am happy of what we are now.
I shook my head, I don’t want to think about it anymore, and no matter what, the baby is still breastfeeding, Haden can’t let me go now. He knows how much my baby needs me. He mentioned to me that we have a special part in our child’s life. That no one can replace us being his parents.
Suddenly there was a knock on the door, I thought it was the nanny coming to get my pumped milk, so I answered, “Come in.”
But I was a bit surprised that the one coming in from the door is Haden.
I saw Haden standing at the door, and I was so embarrassed that my face immediately turned red.
I look awful, my breasts are out as am currently pumping a supply for my baby.
As quickly and angrily as I could, I asked, “Why did you come in?” Did I let you in?
I did not realize what I just said, I was rude, it was just a quick reaction for being displayed this way.
I didn’t really mean giving him the attitude. Or maybe it is because of the thought of divorce that affected my mood.
Haden tilted his head slightly to one side, paused to breathe, and replied, “I knocked.” but I can go out now if you want. He said it with a sad face.
I was humiliated and embarrassed to the point that I was speechless. Maybe it’s because of what I acted towards Haden. I felt a little guilty and the only thing I can do is to talk to him and approach him in a calm way.
As I finished pumping breastmilk, I went downstairs and saw how Haden sitting on the couch.
He was looking at me and spoke.
“I’ll wait for you.” Would that be fine?
I’ve been thinking before I decide.
“I’ll drive you to your shoot, then I will wait for you to finish. I have not much to do today.” He continued.
I answered yes to him in a calm manner hoping to make up with him.
He opened the car door for me and locked my seatbelt for me, I feel how he cares about me.
There was silence in the car, both of us were just staring at each other. Feeling awkward.
As soon as Haden found out that I tried asking the family lawyer about divorce he cannot contain and asked, “When are you going to divorce me?”
My heart pounded, and I turned my head towards him, he looked at me, obviously waiting for me to answer. I was shocked and I don’t know how to answer him.
Haden did not ask any more questions while I remained silent. The entire ride remained a moment of silence.
I got out of the car. I stared at him and thanked him for giving me a ride. He smiled and winked his eyes. Without saying a word. As if he seems to be in deep thought.
During the shoot I was a little distracted, and the director took not less than 20 takes for every scene I make, eventually, the director sighed in disbelief and told me,
“You’re not in the best of condition today, you’d better go home early and rest, we’ll continue tomorrow.” It seems that you have some problems.”
Even if I wanted to finish my parts, I admit that I cannot perform well today and I am wasting everyone’s time. So, I thanked him and left.
As I rushed into our house, I held Eaden in my arms and rubbed his back.
I am very happy to see my baby after a long shoot. I easily miss him. I was looking at his eyes while I’m swaying him.
The little one’s soft body was in my arms, he is still so small and completely dependent on me. My baby needs me every day and my attention should be focused on him. While I carry Eaden , my troubled mind still can’t move on to what happened in the car with Haden. He had an emergency meeting so he was not able to wait for me.
The words Haden spoke kept resonating in my head, and even though we did not continue the conversation, I had the impression he was just not in the mood to discuss this directly.
According to our agreement, after our baby was born and I am able to work, I can divorce him.
So, should I file for divorce now that the baby is born and I landed a job? I don’t know what to do. I need more time to think of this. Is it proper to pursue that plan? I really can’t decide for now.
My heart disagrees.
Moreover, I find it difficult to leave my child behind. He’s my inspiration and the love of my life. He is my life. Ever since I met him, he completes me every day. He is my reason for living.
His job keeps him too busy too, so even if I leave my child to him, he sure cannot give all his time attending the child’s parental needs.
I know that even if he wanted to, he cannot give enough time in raising our child. So I do not see that divorcing and living them is reasonable this time.
Not unless he allows me to take our baby with me, which I am sure he won’t allow. Considering that of us two, he is more capable to provide for Eaden financially.
Having no other family besides Eaden, I admit that the decision to leave them is a heavy burden for me. I hugged him tightly. He’s the light of my life. No one can change that.
Haden came back from work, I put the baby to sleep and went back to bed. Waiting for him so that we could talk.
“Do you have something to say?” he asked.
I know what’s in your mind now. And I am ready to talk about it. Have a seat and relax for a while. He was looking at me while I was finding a good spot to relax myself too.
“Yes, I remember we agreed to divorce once our child is born.” I looked at him and he is not answering so I spoke again,
“Shall we continue discussing it?”
“okay, so it is about the divorce that you wanted to talk to me. Okay, that is not a problem. We can discuss it. I also want to talk about us and our baby. So the timing is right.”