Cilla’s POV
I was rudely awoken in the morning. Mrs. Conway was hovering over me yelling in my ear.
“What is it?” I asked.
“Time to wake up and carry your belongings,” she said.
Rubbing my eyes, I sat up. It was morning but judging by the little light in the room, I could tell it was not yet six am.
“What are you talking about?” I asked. “Carry my stuff to where.”
Had I been sold again? The sickening feeling buried itself inside me. “What is going on, Mrs. Conway. Am I being moved to another pack again? I swear I’m so tired. If Ridian wants to kill me, let him do it for once and for all instead of slowly but surely driving me crazy so I can do it by myself.
“Don’t be dramatic,” Mrs. Conway said. “You are just being moved back to the slave quarters. You do not deserve to be here.”
“What do you mean?”
“Get out of bed, collect your things and return to your room. Someone else will be moving in here. I don’t know what you did to the alpha but you messed up real big. I heard about your little stint with Miss Erica and Mrs. Jamison. What? Did you think there would be no consequences for your behavior? Did you think that just because the alpha returned you, it meant you were special? No, darling. You thought wrong. You will always be a slave.”
Feeling sad, I climbed out of bed and removed my nightdress. Picking up a uniform, I put it on.
“This life is not fair, my dear. Learn not to aim too high, because you will fall harder. You need to accept the cards life has dealt you and find a way of being happy in that situation. Most people do that and live fairly happy lives even when they don’t have everything they want.
I packed my things into a trash bag in silence. I was so angry at myself for letting my body get used by that horrible man. How did I, for a second, believe that he actually meant well. It would have been better if he had never slept with me. Now I couldn’t stop thinking of the sweet moments we had shared together, when he looked like a saint. For a moment there, I had thought he cared for me but clearly it was all an act. Now I was going to hate him while still feeling like sleeping with him which was very annoying.
“I’m not happy about this,” Conway said. “I feel bad for you but I have to do my job.”
I nodded. “I understand perfectly. My life sucks. I thought it would be better if I returned here but I was wrong. I should have let them sell me off to another pack, hell, I should have remained with the Freys. At least I was respected. But stupid me decided to return to this hellhole.”
“I’m sorry, let’s go.”
The door opened as I was reaching out for the handle. Cara burst in and hugged me. I could feel the tears from my eyes soaking my shoulder. How was she even crying when my eyes were dry? I guess I had reached a point where I did not care anymore.
“It’s okay, Cara. It’s not like I’m leaving the pack. I’ll be alright. Been there before. In fact, there’s no difference apart from the food, work and you.”
“I just got you back and now I’m losing you. I hate how people in this pack treat you yet you’re so nice to everyone. I’m getting tired of it.”
I was more than tired. What kind of alpha was this, that couldn’t make up his mind? Why couldn’t he make a decision and stick to it. Did he want me or not? I was tired of being bounced back and forth.
“Don’t worry, Cara. I’m totally fine and I’ll be sneaking around to see you. Or you can come and see me since you’re allowed to. It will not be that bad.”
“Okay.”
The door burst open again. This time it was Maryanne. Kill me now, I thought. As if things couldn’t get worse already. I saw a bag in Maryanne’s hand. She walked in and placed it on the bedside table.
“Nice room,” she said with a wide smile. “I like it already.”
I turned to Conway. “Really?”
“What’s wrong, Cilla?” Maryanne asked. “You think you’re the only one entitled to good things or what. Sorry for you. I think the alpha didn’t like it.” Maryanne laughed. “Imagine giving up your body for special favors and you get punishment instead. That must really suck.”
Without another word to her, I followed Mrs. Conway out of the room. “I think you know where to go.” She told me. “Come with me, Cara. You have to get back to work, unless you want to follow her to those deplorable quarters.”
“Is that an option?” Cara asked.
“Don’t even think about it,” I told her. I was going down but was not about to drag my only friend down with me. She had worked so hard and she deserved only the best. Cara was too good a person to be stuck down there washing dirty workmen’s clothes.
As I walked down to the path to my new residence, I met some seamstresses. They gave me pitiful looks as they passed by. I envied their life. It may not have been the best, but at least it was stable. It looked like I was not close to getting a life like that. I was a fool who was bounced from place to place.
I stared at the high fence behind our building. What if I could somehow dodge the weekly anti-shift injections and then escape? I had escaped one pack before and survived. What was so different about this one? I was not living a happy life. Maybe being a rogue was not a bad idea at all.
More seamstresses were coming out of the house as I approached. With my head down, I walked in and went to my old room. It was unlocked. Turning the knob, it opened and I entered. It smelled stuffy, as a room that has not been opened for long smells. It looked like it had not been occupied since I had left. I moved to the window and opened it. Fresh air came into the room, and I could see dust particles flying around, illuminated by the sun rays.
I removed the blanket and noted that my old sheets were still there which was good. I didn’t want to sleep in sheets that had been used by someone else and remained unwashed. Not knowing where to start from, I sat down on the bed. No sooner had I sat than the door burst open. I sighed and looked up.
It was Grace.
“You’re back,” she said.
“Clearly,” I said. She seemed very happy to see back to suffering. It was pathetic. At her age, these were not the kind of things that were appropriate for her to derive joy from.
“Well come on now, you need to sock the uniforms then have breakfast and get to washing.”
“I’ll be there in a minute.”
“A minute? You’ve become quite arrogant. Get up, girlie.”
I sighed before standing up and following her. The familiar dreary environment welcomed me back. There were two big piles of uniform on the slab in the shed. Empty basins were pilled near them. I stood there for a while just pondering on the amount of work that awaited me.
Eventually, I got busy.